


Blossoms in the Wind

by Ariahari



Category: Hakuouki
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arranged Marriage, Canon Het Relationship, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, End of an era, F/M, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Freeform, Freeform Relationship, Gen, Japanese Culture, Kazama/Chizuru minor pairing, Loss of Virginity, Marriage of Convenience, Multi, My First Work in This Fandom, Non-Canon Relationship, Not Canon Compliant, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Polyamory, Rating May Change, Samurai, Shinsengumi - Freeform, Swords and Guns, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-06-12 06:00:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 22
Words: 78,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15333348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ariahari/pseuds/Ariahari
Summary: A young woman returned to Japan to search for the family she never knew. She has little to go on and finds herself at the mercy of a stranger. Hope of finding information about her past quickly dwindles as she becomes embroiled in the strange events surrounding Kyoto and her new friend Chizuru Yukimura. She soon learns that Fate is not without a sense of humor. She makes friends within the Shinsengumi and she finds that bonds of friendship are just as strong as the blood she was born into. Can her friends and family find any common ground? Or will she be forever torn between them?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am not very knowledgeable about Japanese culture or history. I do try to be as accurate as is possible but will probably make some mistakes along the way. I fell in love with samurai movies as a young girl so when I learned of the Visual Novel Hakuouki-Kyoto Winds and Edo Blossoms, I dove right in. While the VN was beautiful and entertaining, I was just as enamored of the real story behind the men of the Shinsengumi. My retelling won't follow any one plot but will sort of be a mash up of all the things I loved as I explore the mountain of emotion I felt and still feel as I play through the game again and again. I will be using the names given in the game version I have played, because it is the only version I've seen. I don't seem to have access to the anime or the previous game versions. (I skimmed through a few fics on Ao3 and noticed different spelling for Sanan and Souji as well as the others. I've not been able to find a reason for the altered spellings, so I thought it best to stick with the versions I know. I hope this doesn't cause any confusion or frustration.) I've only played the newest remake, the 2017 and 2018 Kyoto Winds and Edo Blossoms. I've never watched the anime, nor any of the other game makes, or the movies. And I can hear some of you saying man are you missing out! I'm sure I have. Maybe someday I will be able to!
> 
> I will follow some of the dialogue and events, but more often than not I will take liberties with the original text so that the story doesn't feel like a retelling. I also can't promise that the pairings won't change throughout. I intend for Kazama and Chizuru to end up together, but I make no promises on who Aimi falls for along the way. At first I thought of pairing her with Sakamoto, the dashing ronin who is too handsome and charming for any woman's self preservation. But I see him as just a passing interest, and ally. I personally can't decide on a favorite among them, and expect this to carry over in my writing. There will probably be many moments where Aimi and one of the others would be great together, but in the end it isn't meant to be. I hope you enjoy my story as much as I enjoy writing it, and stick through the twists and side roads as I figure out how to get to the end I have in mind.
> 
> As a work in progress the plot and pairs are still evolving. There was one cute newbie that I thought would be easy to resist, but no...His route plays into Aimi's path so well that I can't help but see those two together also. At least his close friendship with Hijikata makes a threesome more likely. Hijikata isn't going anywhere anytime soon. He and Aimi are perfect for each other. I always felt that his relationship with Chizuru was because she wore him down rather than what he really wanted. Aimi will deserve her happy ever after, after all I put her through in this coming story! I know where it's going, just not how it will get there, and what all will happen along the way!

Aimi muttered under her breath. The child was lost in thought, and had wandered far from the inn she directed them to hours ago. Aimi didn't want to leave the shelter of the shadows. She had more important things to do than babysit. She put her face in her hand when three ronin approached him. The idiot boy was going to get himself killed.

"Hey kid."

"Pretty nice blade you got there.

"Looks like a bit much for a pup like this, right?"

"Give it here okay? We'll put it to good use."

"But...this is..."

They advanced on the kid, forcing them into a corner.

"What seems to be the trouble, boys?" Aimi kept her face in the shadows. She might hide her slender frame within men's garb, but nothing could hide her feminine features. She could only hope they were too preoccupied to notice.

"This isn't any of your business." One of the men said.

"You're picking on a child. I think that makes it my business." Aimi drew her katana. "Run kid, I'll take care of these guys."

"What? No, I'll help." He pulled his kodachi with trembling hands.

Aimi shook her head. He'd be little help. The boy rushed to her hiding spot, and the three men followed, swords drawn.

Aimi blocked the first attack, spun away and sliced the arm of the second man. She had speed, but not strength, and fighting three men with her back to the buildings hindered her movements.

"Run kid, I'm right behind you."

"But..."

"Don't argue, just run!" Aimi parried another blow, but found no opening to strike. The three ronin had her on the defensive. She had no choice but to retreat if they were to make it out alive. Aimi kicked a barrel into their path and grabbed the boy's wrist, dragging him behind her.

"Hey! Get back here you bastards!"

They raced through the streets, ducked hanging baskets and dodged crates. Occasionally Aimi knocked a stack of boxes, or baskets to impede their pursuers. The boy was light on his feet and soon the distance between the ronin increased. Finding a dark and empty ally, Aimi pushed the boy under a stack of boards leaning against the wall.

"Stay down, stay quiet. Don't come out until I tell you to." She didn't wait for an answer. With her back against the wall she peered over her shoulder and down the side street. She stifled a gasp at the flash of pale blue that streaked by.

Three men in blue jackets rounded on the ronin who trailed her. The three ronin attacked first. Their swords met flesh, which healed before her eyes. An eerie laugh filled the air. The three ronin fought wildly, their eyes round with fear. Moonlight bathed the alley in white light. It glinted off of steel, and reflected off the silver hair of the three men in blue.

"What is this? Why won't you die!? Damn it. We gotta get out of here." The panicked voice of one of the ronin sent a chill down her spine.

Eerie laughter rent the night.  

A scream of pain echoed through the alley. More eerie laughter followed. The three men in blue surrounded the ronin. Their swords no longer swung with finesse, but hacked and stabbed at the ronin. Blood splattered their clothing and faces, and still they hacked at the bodies.

Aimi's heart dropped like a stone. The rumors were true. Monsters were loose on the city, and now she knew who was responsible. The blue coats were a dead giveaway. Her hands grew clammy. She needed to stop them before they killed anyone else, but against three she didn't stand a chance. She turned to grab the kid and run.

The boy knocked the stacked wood to the ground with a clatter. The sound seemed to grow louder as it echoed through the alley. He sat still as a stone, staring at the three monsters, who now turned their feral grins toward the noise.

"Damn it, kid. Run!"

The boy was frozen with fear. Tremors shook his body as he stared at the blood soaked monsters.

Aimi reached for her pistol. Would a bullet to the heart kill them? Before she could pull it from hiding, there was a flash of light glinting off of steel, and before she could blink, the three monsters dropped like stones.

"Really? And here I was planning on taking care of them all. Couldn't you pick another day to work so fast, Saito?" The man's tone was more jovial than his words implied.

"I only did my job. Unlike you, I take no pleasure in battle." The one called Saito spoke quietly, his voice solemn.

"Still, you could have let them kill the kids, saved us the trouble."

"That is not our decision to make," Saito said.

Aimi cursed under her breath. Things had gone from bad to worse. These men may have stopped the monsters, but it was clear that her and the boy's presence was a threat to them. The threat of death hung heavy in the air. Aimi might outrun them, but she’d end up lost. She didn’t know the streets of Kyoto well. Besides, she wouldn't leave the kid behind.

"I for one, would like to stay alive. I'm pretty sure the kid does too." Aimi looked at the boy who nodded.

The two men were nearly the same height. The man with green eyes called the other Saito. Saito's eyes widened a moment as he stared at her, and then a frown creased his brow.

A dark shape moved into the alley and a flash of metal caught her eye.

"Luck is not your friend tonight." His voice cut through the air, hard and cold.

Aimi stood mesmerised. The most beautiful man she had ever seen held a sword at her chest. She opened her mouth to explain what happened, but her breath caught in her throat. His eyes darted down her frame and back. Furrows wrinkled his brow. In the last two years she grew well acquainted with the ways of men. What she read in his eyes should scare her. He hadn't been fooled by her disguise. Her cheeks warmed at the flash of emotion in his eyes.

He studied the boy a moment. Then spoke quietly. "Run and I will kill you both. Do you understand?"

"Wait, Hijikata-san, are you sure about this? These two saw everything. That can't be good."

"Shut up. If you keep it up you know what we're going to have to do." The man called Hijikata gave the other a hard glare,

Aimi swallowed the lump in her throat. She darted a look at the corpses at their feet. The boy still knelt in the blood soaked dirt. Given what they saw, living to see the sunrise was a hope quickly slipping away. She hadn’t heard good things about the men of the Shinsengumi. Would they really kill a woman and a child?

"I really think it's gonna come back to bite us in the ass if we let the kids go."

Aimi almost spoke up to tell them she wasn't a kid, but it was clear the men were caught up in their argument.

"So we just start killing people? No, I'll see what to do with them when we get back," Hijikata said.

"I agree with the commander. If we linger we are likely to be seen. Again." Saito looked at the corpses and asked what should be done with them.

The three men spoke quietly, and Saito stripped them of their blue coats. Someone else would deal with the bodies later. Aimi tried not to stare at the bodies. They no longer looked like the crazed monsters that first turned on them. In death they appeared to be ordinary men. Even if the two of them were to talk, who would believe them without proof?

The first man turned to her and smirked. "Ah yes...We did save you didn't we?"

Aimi gaped at him. "Saved us?" She looked at the blood on the ground and the other three ronin who'd chased them. "Yeah, I suppose you did."

The boy jumped to his feet and bowed. "Thank you so much." He turned to Aimi. "And thank you. Everything happened at once I forgot to thank you for trying to help me."

Hijikata looked as though he bit into a lemon. Saito's eyes grew wide. He darted a look between Aimi and the boy with a curious expression on his face.

The other man's laughter rang out. Hijikata and Saito looked anywhere but at the boy.

"Well, you're welcome. I'm Souji Okita. Nice to see a kid who knows how to be polite." He smirked at Aimi. His grin widened as he looked her over carefully. His laughter rang out again and he wiped a tear from his eye. "Oh this is too funny."

"Are you two not together?" Hijikata asked.

"Um," the boy hesitantly spoke darting a look at Aimi and then at Hijikata. "Sort of."

"Not exactly," Aimi said. "I was nearby when three ronin tried to take the boy's kadachi. He was going to be stupid and fight them, but I distracted them so he could get away. We thought we lost them until..." She let her voice drop.

"Really you should thank Saito." Then he pointed his thumb at Hijikata. "The bossy guy is..."

"What the hell do you think you are doing, Okita?" Hijikata barked a warning.

Okita shrugged. "You already said we weren't killing them, well not here anyway. And the blues are a dead giveaway."

The boy wrung his hands. It was clear even he knew who these men were. He looked at the corpses and back at the men.

Hijikata jerked his head and Okita grabbed the boys wrist, jerking him down the street. Aimi opened her mouth to protest.

"It would be best if you prepare for the worst. I doubt this will end well for you." Saito's grim words stopped her from speaking.

Hijikata took her wrist, pulled her arm behind her back and reached for the other one. She braced herself expecting him to hurt her, but he simply tied her wrists together. She felt his breath against her ear. Despite the warmth of it she shivered at the sensation. He stood behind her, and drew in a deep breath. She kept her eyes lowered, hoping to hide her face with her bangs, but she was sure Hijikata knew her secret.

He stepped around her and took hold of her arm. Okita led them as he drug the boy roughly. The boy followed with his back straight and eyes forward. Aimi commended him his courage. If only bravery was enough to save them.

Hijikata strode silently. His stoic expression was set in marble. The earlier emotion she read in his eyes was replaced by grim determination. He caught her staring and clenched his jaw. Woman or not, if she needed to die to protect the Shinsengumi, she knew he wouldn't hesitate to kill her.

* * *

Okita pushed the boy into a room and followed.

"Gotta hand it to you kid, you got spunk. Too bad you have to die."

If the boy responded, Aimi didn't hear him, as she was pushed into a room further down the hall.

"What are you going to do with us?" she asked Hijikata.

"Us? I didn't think you were together."

"We aren't, or well we weren't, but now..." She tried to shrug but her shoulders ached too much. "He's just a lost kid in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"If I were you, I'd worry more about yourself than the boy." Hijikata leaned against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest.

Aimi bit the inside of her cheek. She could easily escape, leave the boy to his fate. But only a coward would let a child suffer and save themselves. She raised her head. "I don't know why Fate put him in my care tonight, but I'm now responsible for him. I won't let him suffer if I can save him."

Hijikata's mouth quirked up in a smirk. "Even if it means you die in his place?"

Cold fear slithered down her spine but she didn't back down. "Even if I must die to save him."

Hijikata closed the distance between them. He quickly removed her katana and kodachi and set them on a rack at the back of the room. He returned and patted her down, searching for more weapons. He frowned at the pistol he found tucked into the pocket of her kimono. His fingers smoothed over her arms and he sighed at the arsenal she had hidden.

"If you'll untie my hands I will remove my knives."

"And risk you running?"

"I already told you, I won't leave without the boy."

"Saito, come in here, please."

The door slid open. Saito entered without a word.

"What can I help you with?"

"She's carrying more knives than Yamazaki."

Saito's brow shot up, but Aimi didn't think his surprise was about her being a girl.

The door slid open and Okita stepped in. "Hey, hey, if you need me to, I will take her knives."

Aimi stared at him, mouth agape. Was no one fooled by her disguise?

"Souji, shut your mouth. You worry about the kid."

"The kid fainted." Okita shrugged. "He's trussed up tight, he won't go anywhere." He grinned at Aimi. "Now that we have better lighting, you look familiar?" He rubbed his chin.

"Yes, she does." Saito narrowed his eyes as he studied her. "She's new to Shimabara... The geisha from the west."

"Yes!" Okita snapped his fingers and pointed at Aimi. "They won't be pleased one of their best girls has gone missing."

Aimi's spirits plummeted and she bit her lip. They didn't frequent Shimabara. She was familiar with Harada and Nagakura. If memory served her they only brought Okita and Saito once. She had hoped they wouldn't recognize her. Now, even if escape were possible, she couldn't return. They would know just where to find her.

"So what is it that sends a woman into the streets of Kyoto dressed as a man?" Hijikata waved at her. "Few men carry the arsenal you carry."

Saito efficiently removed her hidden blades. His fingers barely grazed her skin. If she hadn't watched him, she might have imagined it altogether. He also cut the rope at her wrist, and she shook her arms to get the circulation going again. She shrugged her shoulders. "Kyoto is a dangerous place at night for one unprepared."

"A woman shouldn't be roaming the streets after dark," Okita began. "Never know who might take advantage."

"Which is why I didn't go dressed as a woman."

Hijikata stood with his hands on his hips, his eyes narrowed. "You still haven't answered my question? Why were you roaming the streets ready for battle?"

She lowered her eyes and bit her lip. Telling them the truth would issue her and the boy a death sentence. "How do I know I can trust you? You may work for the same people I do, but I don't know that your loyalty lies solely with the shogunate."

"You work for the shogunate?" Hijikata scoffed at her.

It wasn't a total lie. She may not work for them directly, but the man who helped her find work at Shimabara did. "I was to meet a contact at the Tereda Inn. I report every two weeks, unless something of note happens."

"And just what was it you were reporting tonight?" Okita asked.

She shrugged. "It's been quiet, nothing of interest." She pointed at her pocket. "There is a list of new customers. Usually that is all I do, take a list of names. I found it’s best I not ask too many questions."

Hijikata reached for the folded parchment in her pocket. She tried not to jump when his fingers brushed against her hip. "Why can't your contact simply meet you at Shimabara?" He opened the parchment and scanned the list of names. His eyes narrowed and he passed it to Okita.

"Hey, this name here. Isn't that...?" He scratched his chin. "Sadamori Yoshii, the guy's a real piece of work. Used to be a hatamoto, but he betrayed his daimyo. Now he works as a mercenary."

"Souji." Hijikata glared at him. "Are you so eager to have me cut your tongue out?"

"Heh?" He looked at Hijikata and then at Aimi. "Oh, right." He gave her a wolfish grin. "Figured we weren't letting her go anyway, it wouldn't matter what she learned."

"Yoshii is a known Choshu sympathizer. You aren't the only ones watching his movements," Aimi said, shaking her head. "I hoped he would meet with someone so I had a report worth risking my neck for." She glared at Okita who merely grinned back at her.

"Heh? You've risked a great deal more than your neck, little sister." He picked up one of her throwing knives and weighed it in his hand, testing it for balance. He gave an appreciative nod as he replaced it.

"I'll have to verify your story. Who's your contact?" Hijikata asked.

She squared her shoulders. "I can't tell you that. My involvement is, well, it's..." Precarious at best, she thought.

"In other words, you get caught you're on your own." Okita leered at her. "I bet I can make her talk."

Hijikata rubbed his knuckles along his jaw. "We will decide in the morning who will interrogate her."

Fear crawled up her spine at the way Okita looked at her. He wouldn't care that she was a woman. If Okita was her interrogator, she knew he would do everything to make her talk. She wouldn't let them hurt the kid. They needed to escape. Even if she had to carry to boy out on her shoulders.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aimi and Chizuru find themselves prisoners at the mercy of the Shinsengumi.

Aimi blinked at the sunlight streaming in the window. The sun was already nearing its zenith. She never slept so late. She tried to push away the covers and found her hands and feet tied. Images of the night before flashed through her head. She let her head drop back to the pillow with a groan at the sharp pain. She'd tried to escape when everything grew quiet. She nearly made it, but met Harada Sanosuke returning from his patrol. She'd not had time to duck as he swung his spear at her head.  
  
"Finally awake, I see." Harada sat beside her futon with a wet cloth in his hand. His eyebrows were wrinkled with concern. "How's your head?"  
  
Aimi frowned at him. Her head hurt, thanks to him. He was the reason she was trussed up, and tossed back into a room. She'd nearly gotten away but someone noticed her escape, and called for his aid. Harada didn't hesitate to hit her with the butt of his spear.  
  
She turned away, refusing to speak to him.  
  
"Awe, c'mon. You can’t hold it against me. I didn't know you were a woman or I wouldn't have hit you so hard. Still, you shouldn't have run." He released a heavy sigh.  
  
She blinked back the tears forming in her eyes. Everything was ruined. Her contact would believe she betrayed them. That she spent the night tied up in a room against her will wouldn't matter. Returning to Shimabara wasn't an option, not after the Shinsengumi knew she worked there. Though, that was a blessing in disguise. Shimabara wasn’t a traditional geisha house, but was more or less a brothel.  
  
"Do you think you can stand? If so, they are waiting for you in the main hall," Harada said gently.  
  
She nodded and he pulled the covers away and loosened the cords. He helped her to her feet and held her arm to steady her while her limbs woke. Her hands and feet were still tied. She could only shuffle her way down the hall.  
  
"What is going to happen to the boy?"  
  
Harada chuckled. "The kid's gonna to stay as our guest for a while."  
  
They stopped at a door. Raised voices drifted through the thin paper.  
  
"One girl masquerading is unexpected, but two...It seems Fate has a sense of humor." Aimi didn't recognize the soft voice.  
  
Aimi's eyes shot to Harada. "Two girls?"  
  
He simply grinned and slid the door open. Aimi hesitated. She didn't want to face her death yet. Harada caught her around the waist, hauling her against his muscled frame. Aimi twisted and pushed away from him. Her movements were hindered by the rope around her ankles. She stumbled, nearly toppling to the ground. Strong arms caught her and held her against a firm, chiseled chest.  
  
"Idiot." Hijikata held her.    
  
"Sano, that's no way to treat a lady." She recognized the larger man as Nagakura, a friend of Harada. The two, along with the young man standing beside him, frequented Shimabara.

"Shame you had to get caught up with this, Aika-chan." Harada gave them her stage name. She chose not to correct him, if she ever got away she would use her real name.  
  
Hijikata's grip tightened. "You know her?"  
  
"Are you sure that's Aika? Doesn't much look like her." Heisuke held his chin in his hand, his index finger tapped against his lips.  
  
"I've been trying to get her attention for the last six months." Harada rubbed the back of his neck.  
  
"Fat chance of that happening now." She leveled him a sharp stare.  
  
"No, it looks like someone else has claimed you." The voice was quiet but cold.  
  
Aika whipped her head toward the voice. The movement caused her head to spin from the shooting pain. She gasped and crumbled into Hijikata's arms once more.  
  
"She should still be resting. How hard did you hit her?" Aika recognized the quiet voice of Saito.  
  
"She's tough enough." Okita glared at her. "Should have been me who knocked her out. I owe her."  
  
She took a short breath and slowly raised her head. The black and purple bruise over Okita's eye and nose brought a smile and warmed her heart.  
  
"Enough." Hijikata led her to a cushion and helped her kneel.  
  
"Would you like some tea?" A kind, warm voice spoke beside her. "I find tea helps when things seem troubled.  
  
Aika studied the man beside her. He had a kind face and a warm smile. "Um, yes please."  
  
"Kondou-san." Hijikata's tone held a warning.  
  
"What? We aren't savages. Saito, remove her bindings. I am Kondou Isami, Chief of the Shinsengumi."  
  
"So you're the one in charge of this rabble?"  
  
Kondou choked on his tea. Hijikata glared at her. Saito stared wide eyed, while Nagakura, Harada and the younger one laughed. Okita shook his head.  
  
"I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation." The same quiet voice from earlier spoke out, bringing a halt to their laughter. "Your behavior raises many questions, and none of the apparent answers fall in your favor. You also witnessed something you shouldn't have." The smile on his face did nothing to warm his cold stare.  
  
Aika shivered at the coldness in the gentle voice.  
  
"Sanan-san is right. Your life hangs by a thread," Hijikata said.  
  
Aimi sighed and reached for the tea Kondou poured her. She blew the steam from the cup and took a sip before speaking. The tension in the room was palpable.  
  
"Since my arrival in Kyoto two years ago, my life has hung by a thread. By chance, I met a benefactor who sponsored my placement at Shimabara. I was made to spy for his continued help in my search. Now all of that is ruined. He will never accept that I was taken here against my will. Even if he did, he wouldn't believe I've not betrayed him. Returning to Shimabara isn't an option now. After they learn of my behavior, my position will be even worse than before. Tonight, tomorrow, next week..." She shrugged, and drank her tea again. "I'm dead either way. Do what you must." She placed her tea cup down, folded her hands in her lap and closed her eyes.  
  
"So, you refuse to cooperate with us," Sanan said flatly.  
  
"I will not reveal him, if that's what you wish to know." She looked at Hijikata. "What are you going to do to the kid?"  
  
"You still care more for a stranger than yourself?" Saito shook his head in disbelief.  
  
"Someone needs to protect the child. My attempt to escape was to simply remove him from you. With my identity compromised; returning to Shimabara was no longer an option. I already told you, once I was caught I was on my own."  
  
"What brought you to Kyoto?" Harada asked. "You mentioned your benefactor was helping you with your search?"  
  
"My mother died when I was very young. She told me my father was from somewhere near Kyoto, but never told me his name. I have next to nothing to go on. I suppose it was foolish of me to trust a near stranger. I'm no closer to learning the truth now as I was two years ago."  
  
"Had you not carried the kid with you, you would have escaped easily." Saito narrowed his eyes as he studied her. The silence stretched on and she felt as if he stared into her soul. "She speaks the truth."  
  
"Another girl searching for her father?" the young man asked. "Chizuru came here for her father too."  
  
"We know who Chizuru's father is, just not where he is," Harada said.  
  
"Chizuru?" Aika asked.  
  
"The boy you saved is a young woman with a penchant for wearing pants." Okita smirked at her, cocking his head to the side. "I figured you knew and that's why you were so protective of her."  
  
Aimi looked at each of them to confirm Okita told the truth. "I never got a good look at their face, it was too dark."  
  
"She's not as curvy as you are. Took me a little longer to realize it, but I wasn't fooled by your disguise at all." Okita smirked. "I doubt these two were either."  
  
Hijikata shook his head. Saito nodded.  
  
"Too bad those grumps found you." Harada chuckled. "I would have been much nicer to you."  
  
Aimi snorted. She'd known from the moment he turned his smile on her at Shimabara what Harada had in mind. He was no different than the hundreds of others who vied for her attention. She’d been lucky so far that no one demanded more than she was willing to give.  
  
"If it's all the same to you, I'd like to go back to my room. My head is still pounding." She touched the knot on the back of her skull and winced. Any lower and she'd be dead.  
  
Harada frowned as he followed her hand. "Come, I will see you back to bed."  
  
"Might as well, it's no fun poking a dog that won't fight," Okita said. "I'll take her back."  
  
"Saito will escort her." Hijikata glared at Souji. "You two will stay here."  
  
Okita shrugged and gave her a wolfish grin. Aimi wondered if the order for execution came, would Okita be the first to volunteer?

* * *

  
Chizuru crept quietly down the hallway. Okita wouldn't circle back for another few minutes. No one would tell her what happened to the young man who helped her. She'd overheard Harada and Okita discussing the other prisoner. There was concern that the head wound was serious.  
  
Chizuru had helped her father with a young girl who had fallen and struck her head. She knew how quickly things could go bad.  
  
She silently slid the door open and slipped inside, sliding it closed behind her. She held her breath and listened for footsteps out in the hall. The room was quiet, aside from the soft and steady breathing of someone sleeping.  
  
Chizuru took a moment to adjust to the dark room. Dawn was still hours away, and the night was black as pitch. The lamps outside faintly lit the window.  
  
Someone had tenderly tucked the blankets under the sleeping form's chin. Chizuru crept forward slowly. She didn't want to wake them, simply to check their pulse, and temperature. Beside the bed was a bowl of cool water and clean clothes. The parchment next to it was filled with notes similar to those her father showed her how to take when she watched over some of his patients.  
  
The last entry was two hours ago. Someone named Yamazaki had awakened the woman. Chizuru gasped. Her eyes snapped to the sleeping form.  
  
"Where's your guard, kid?" Wide, eyes peered up at her through thick lashes.  
  
"Um." Chizuru stared, mouth agape at the woman. How could she have mistaken her for a young man?  
  
"Sneaking off are you? I'm afraid I'm in no shape to escape." She raised up on her elbow and grimaced. Her hand gingerly touch the back of her head. "Though, if you don't want to stay here, I'll see you get away."  
  
Chizuru shook her head. "No, I'm not running away. They agreed to help me find my father. I promised I wouldn't run as long as they help me."  
  
She let out a breath and fell back onto the futon. "Good, I'm not sure I could distract them long."  
  
"I didn't know..." Chizuru bit the inside of her cheek. "They wouldn't tell me what happened to you. Told me I needed to worry about myself and forget about you."  
  
She chuckled and then winced. "Sounds familiar. I think I got the same lecture."  
  
"I'm Chizuru, Yukimura Chizuru. My father is a doctor, and when I heard them talking about your head wound...Well, I was worried you weren't being cared for properly."  
  
"Nice to meet you Yukimura-san. I'm Aika. Don't worry about me. Yamazaki-san comes in every few hours to check on me. The swelling has gone down, and it doesn't hurt much."  
  
"I can see you're lying to make me feel better. I don't remember you being hurt when I saw you last."  
  
"I got careless." Aika shrugged. "After they left me tied up, I managed to get free. Okita said you fainted, but I couldn't wake you. I thought he'd hurt you. We almost made it."  
  
"Oh. So you were caught trying to save me again? I feel terrible that you went to so much trouble."  
  
"Don't worry overmuch. At the time I figured you for a boy of 10 or 12. They didn't seem to be too concerned about killing a child at the time."  
  
"Did they know you weren't a man?"  
  
"The one who hit me didn't. So, I guess I can't fault him for it. Any lower and we wouldn't be talking, though." She pursed her lips and touched the back of her head.  
  
"I know a little about head wounds, they can get serious very quickly."  
  
"I'm fine. There isn't much swelling now. My head feels funny if I move too fast, but my vision isn't blurry, and I no longer have a headache."  
  
Chizuru bit her lip and peered at Aika. "Are you sure? You aren't just saying that to keep me from worrying?"  
  
Aika patted her on the shoulder. "I'm not, promise. But you'd best get back to your room before they figure out you're gone."  
  
"Good morning, Hijikata-san." Okita spoke outside the door.  
  
"Is she awake? Yamazaki says she's over the worst of it."  
  
"She's awake. The kid is checking on her."  
  
Chizuru groaned at the humor in Okita's voice. How had he known she was in here?  
  
The door slid open and Hijikata stepped in with a tray in one hand and a lantern in the other. His grim expression left no doubt of his mood. Chizuru swallowed the lump in her throat and scrambled to her feet.  
  
"My apologizes, Hijikata-san. I heard Okita-san and Harada-san discussing the other prisoner's head wound. I couldn't just ignore it when they were hurt helping me."  
  
"I see my captains have been careless."  
  
Okita smiled at Hijikata. "Heh? It's not like we stand outside her door and talk. She must have been skulking around."  
  
"I was not! You were talking outside my window."  
  
Okita shrugged. "You were supposed to be sleeping, not snooping."  
  
"Shut it! You sound like a couple of kids." Hijikata glared at Okita. "See she gets back to her room and stays there. This isn't an inn."  
  
Okita waved her over. "C'mon little sister. Better do as the Demon says."  
  
"Oh, okay." Chizuru bowed at Aika. "It was a pleasure to meet you. Please, call me Chizuru. Thank you again for all you've done for me." Okita didn't wait for her to right herself before grabbing her wrist and tugging her into the hall.  
  
He slid the door shut and held his finger to his mouth. Humor made his green eyes sparkle. He motioned to the door and cupped his hand over his ear.  
  
Chizuru covered her mouth with her hand, stifling a gasp. He didn't mean for her to stay and listen, did he? She started toward her room, but he still gripped her wrist, and pulled her closer. A devilish smile played on his lips.  
  
"Yamazaki says you refuse to eat." Hijikata spoke sharply. Chizuru heard the sound of a tray sliding along the floor. "You won't recover if you don't eat."  
  
"A last meal before you take my head?" Aika spoke quietly. "No thank you, I'm not hungry."  
  
Aika yelped.  
  
"Do you no longer care for your life?" Hijikata's voice was as harsh as Chizuru ever heard him.  
  
She strained to hear Aika's response but her words were like smoke on the wind.  
  
"What did you say?"  
  
"I would sooner fall on my sword than beg for my life." Aika spoke as harshly as Hijikata.  
  
Chizuru clapped her hand over her mouth. Okita tugged on her arm, and she realized she had reached for the door.  
  
"A woman with a the heart of a samurai." Hijikata's voice lowered, and Chizuru imagined him staring at Aika with a puzzled expression. "What am I going to do with you?"  
  
Okita touched her shoulder and thumbed behind him. Chizuru nodded and slipped quietly down the hall.  
  
It was then Chizuru really looked at Okita. She'd expected him to be angry with her for sneaking off. He wore a smile, not a scowl. She frowned at the dark bruise across is nose, and under his eye.  
  
"Um, Okita-san? What happened to your nose?"  
  
"Aika-san surprised me, knocked me flat out." His wide grin was unexpected.  
  
"Um, she did?"  
  
Okita shrugged. "She was protecting you. I can't blame her for thinking we meant you both harm."  
  
"So, what is going to happen to her?"  
  
"She's in the same boat you are, little sister. But she doesn't trust us to keep her or you safe."  
  
"And are we safe? I mean, if it weren't for my father, I wouldn't be here."  
  
"True, true. Do you really think we would toss her out to fend for herself? I mean, we can easily send you back to Edo to wait. She doesn't even have a family." Okita shrugged and looked away. A wistful expression on his face.  
  
Chizuru chewed her lip. "She risked so much to help me. I feel responsible."  
  
Okita patted her head. "You aren't responsible. She chose to help. Aika knew the risks and she took them anyway. It's what any of us would have done in her place. If Hijikata doesn't want her...." He trailed off leaving Chizuru to imagine what he was thinking.  
  
Chizuru stared at him. She'd only known Okita for two days, but he rarely said anything nice about anyone.  
  
"If you tell anyone what I said, I'll have to kill you." He gave her a wolfish grin and sauntered off.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aimi is struggling with her confinement. Hijikata and Sanan have returned. Chizuru finds more freedom, but Aimi is at a disadvantage. She isn't as prepared for her encounter with Hijikata as she thought.

Aimi sighed over the tray of food Saito brought for her breakfast. She poked at the fish and wrinkled her nose. She never had cared for fish for breakfast. She really missed the breakfasts at the private school she grew up in. Her mouth watered at the thought of fresh coffee and pastries, with mountains of eggs and ham, and more fruits than she could name. She let her memories carry her away until the quiet voice drew her back to the present. Chizuru stood there shyly, with her own tray of tea and breakfast.  
  
Aimi was happy for her company. If not for Kondou and Chizuru, she'd spend all her days alone. Saito or Inoue, brought her meals, each day, and asked if she needed anything. Rarely did they stay to talk with her, unless relaying a message.  
  
Aimi and Chizuru chatted easily together. Chizuru was as lonely as she was. Her father had left Edo the previous summer. Chizuru thought well of him. But what kind of man leaves his daughter, barely of marrying years, alone and unprotected? Secretly Aimi seethed over the apparent neglect. His involvement with the Shinsengumi was also suspect. Aimi refrained from asking questions about this, though. She didn’t need to give them more reasons to consider killing her an acceptable solution.  
  
Harada and Nagakura stopped by for only a moment. They retrieved her belongings from Shimabara. Grateful for their consideration, Aimi wondered what lie they told her patron? She still owed for the hospitality shown her for the year and a half she was in training. She'd not worked long enough to pay off her debt. Who was she indebted to now? Chizuru didn't give her time to dwell on it.  
  
Chizuru chatted excitedly while she admired the silk kimonos, and obi. Her fingers caressed the hair combs longingly. Aimi caught the wistful gaze as Chizuru took in her own clothing.  
  
"Someday you'll wear dresses again." Aimi lifted one of her prettiest kimonos, the one Chizuru's gaze returned to again and again. "When you do, this is yours." She held up her hand at the girls protest. "I insist. Eventually, you will see your father again. And maybe you will meet a handsome warrior who wishes to come calling."  
  
Chizuru caressed the silk. Her eyes shining with tears. "Thank you, so much. I can't ever repay you your kindness."  
  
"Nonsense, this is what friends do for each other." Aimi held it up in front of Chizuru. She was nearly a head shorter than Aimi. "We'll need to take up a few inches on the sleeves, and the hem."  
  
"Friends? It's been so long since I had someone my age to talk with. Yes, I would like to call you my friend." Chizuru took the kimono and draped it over her clothes. She swayed back and forth smiling as the flowers shimmered in the sunlight through the window. Chizuru took off the kimono with a sigh. She folded it and placed it with the others. "Hang on to it for me."  
  
"Good, because I haven't had a friend I could trust in a very long time."  
  
"Everyone here cares for you."  
  
Aimi pursed her lips and shook her head. "They follow Hijikata-san's orders, nothing more. My presence is a liability. Eventually Hijikata-san will see what a burden I am."  
  
"Hey? What's this? You finally figured it out did you?" Okita laughed from the doorway.  
  
"Oh! That isn't very nice of you, Okita-san. Aika-san isn't a prisoner. Even Kondou-san said she's your guest."  
  
"It's alright, Chizuru-chan. He's still sore I broke his nose." Aimi fired him a challenging glare.  
  
Chizuru slapped her hand over her mouth, her eyes wide with fear.  
  
Okita rubbed the small lump on his once perfect nose and shrugged. "It's not like I can accept your challenge."  
  
"Right, the Rules of Conduct." Aimi cocked her head to the side. "But I'm not a member of the Shinsengumi."  
  
Okita straightened, there was a mischievous gleam in his eyes. "Too bad you can't leave your room."  
  
"What? Wait, when did she challenge you?" Chizuru glanced between them.  
  
"The day Hijikata-san left. He said he wouldn't fight a woman."  
  
Okita shrugged. "It's not like you'd ever beat me. If I do kill you, I don't plan on having to commit seppuku. I'll just kill you under orders."  
  
"If you say so." Aimi smirked at him, ignoring the bead of sweat rolling down the back of her neck.  
  
"Come, Chizuru-chan. I think Aika-san is tired." His eyes sparkled at her glare. He took Chizuru's wrist and pulled her toward the door.  
  
"Thank you for the company, Chizuru." Aimi bowed at her friend. "Okita-san is right, I am tired."  
  
She bit the inside of her cheek. She was tired of looking at the same four walls, day in and day out. If not for Chizuru's visits, she'd naught to do but think and train. She changed her clothes and retrieved her swords and knives. The cramped room didn't offer much space, but she learned to use the small space to build stamina and skill. The cramped fighting area required flexibility, and in the long run would benefit her style.

Her slender frame bent easily thanks to the years of ballet. Her hope of being a ballerina ended when her height surpassed her peers. Her years of dancing made ninjitsu a natural choice. She trained until her arms and legs burned, and kept going. The rattan dummy Saito brought her suffered greatly under her attacks.  
  
A gentle gust of air caressed her cheek and she whirled to avoid the sword. She swung out skillfully at her intruder. Her strike aimed at their head. She stared into Saito's eyes, the cold steel of the back of his sword pressed against her throat. The twang of melt striking metal still echoed in the room like a gong. She blinked at the suddenness of his attack. He nodded and sheathed his sword. Aimi rubbed her throat. How had he moved so fast? She swallowed realizing how easily he could have killed her. He bent and retrieved her sword.  
  
"Your skill is well earned. But you need to be faster if you plan to challenge Souji." He flipped her sword and held the handle out for her.  
  
"Oh!" She reached for it, but found no strength in her hand. It was still numb from the force of his deflection. She shook her hand to return the feeling and took her sword. “Thank you.”  
  
Saito retrieved a tray from outside her door and brought it to her desk.  
  
"Do you require anything else tonight?"  
  
She darted a look out the window, surprised to find the sun had set. The weariness from training seeped into her bones. Her clothing, half dried from the sweat of her workout, stuck to her skin.  
  
"No, Chizuru brought me water for bathing earlier. I'm fine. Thank you, for dinner."  
  
Saito bowed and left without a word.

* * *

  
Hijikata and Sanan returned that week. Their return was met somberly by everyone. Sanan was injured in a raid. The wound was severe enough that it kept him from taking up his duties while he recovered. Which meant everyone was busy picking up the slack.  
  
Chizuru stopped by only once a day now, and stayed only for tea. They assigned various tasks for Chizuru to do around the compound, who brought the mending to Aimi. She wanted to do more than mending, but as of yet Hijikata hadn't visited her. They made Chizuru Hijikata's page. Aimi wondered what they might allow her to do. At this point she'd happily scrub floors and serve meals.  
  
She took out the clothes she arrived in. They were clean and mended. She'd added padding to them to better mimic the frame of a young man, and she liked how they fit. The dark fabric and tighter fit of her pants and shirt, helped her hide in the shadows. She was taller than most women she met, which made posing as a young man easier. She stood before the mirror and fretted over how to hide her feminine features.

At night she wrapped a scarf around her face, leaving only her eyes visible. With some kohl she could alter her eyes, make them appear slimmer to give her a more serious expression. She pursed her lips and frowned, pinching her brows together. Nothing could hide their unique color. She had her mother's eyes. An eerie shade of dark pink. Were they a family trait she wondered? She had yet to see anyone with the same eye color.    
  
Pulling up her blue-black hair brought attention to her slender neck, and accentuated her sharp cheekbones, and full lips. After tying it back in different ways, she consigned herself to cut it. She hated the idea, but if it allowed her to walk more easily among the men, she would.  
  
She pinned up her hair, leaving some around her face. This she would cut like Okita's or maybe Saito's. Letting it fall messily in her face. As she reached for the scissors footsteps echoed on the walk outside her door.  
  
"Aika-san? May I come in?" Hijikata's voice startled her.  
  
"Oh, um... Yes, just a moment." She felt foolish answering her door dressed as a young man. Would Hijikata mock her for it? She let out a defeated breath and decided it didn't matter. He could mock her all he wanted if it meant she could leave her room.  
  
She opened the door and stepped to the side. "Please, come in."  
  
He stepped past her and raised an eyebrow at the scissors in her hand.  
  
She tossed them onto her desk. They clattered to a stop near the edge. "I was going to..."  
  
Hijikata reached out and brushed the hair from her face. "Cutting your hair won't be enough."  
  
She bit her cheek. She expected as much, but hearing him say it aloud took the wind from her sails. How could she convince him to let her help if she couldn't hide her gender?  
  
"Yukimura came to me a week ago and asked if there was something the two of you could do to help. I expected to see you barging through my door as well."  
  
"You ordered me to stay in my room, out of sight."  
  
"I gave Yukimura the same orders, she has yet to follow them." Hijikata frowned and shook his head. "It seemed best to give her a few tasks rather than risk her doing something reckless."  
  
"Unlike Chizuru, I'm under no delusions as to my position here. The title of 'guest' is a loose one."  
  
"Do you believe we will execute you for leaving your room?"  
  
"If I were to see or hear something I shouldn't? Yes, absolutely. My parents might be Japanese, but I wasn't raised here. It wouldn't be difficult to label me a spy and order my death." Aimi lifted her arms and dropped them. "I can only work to gain some level of trust in the hopes you will release me in the future."  
  
Hijikata crossed his arms over his chest and leveled a stern gaze at her. He took in her clothes, frowning at the arsenal of stars and knives on her. "Saito says you train each day, from breakfast until the evening meal."  
  
"I've little else to do. Or was I expected to entertain your captains?" She glared at him.  
  
Hijikata blanched.  
  
"Ah, so you expected to return to find I had attempted to seduce my way free?" She sniffed and turned her back on him. She wished to tell him to leave, but to them this was a prison cell, not her room. She cursed under her breath at the tears stinging her eyes. "I had little choice in working at Shimabara, but I'm not a whore."  
  
"What of your mother's family?" The quiet sincerity in his question tugged at her heart. Hijikata sat beside her desk and motioned for her to join him.  
  
Aimi bit her lip and shook her head. "I don't know who they are, she refused to speak of them. They forbade her from seeing my father and he returned home before he knew of me. She left home when she learned she was pregnant. She fled to Europe. Before her illness took her she enrolled me in a private school. I don't know where she got her money, but they treated me well, and I studied anything I wanted. When I turned 18 they sent me away with what little was left. I used some to buy passage to Japan."  
  
"Someone robbed me soon after boarding the ship. Or maybe in the inn before I boarded. All I know is there I was, stuck hundreds of miles from shore without any money. He caught me stealing food. I thought he would turn me in and the captain would toss me into the sea. He took me in and fed me. He..." Her voice cracked at the injustice of her last few years. While in school she had every luxury, could study anything she wished. She'd been lonely, few of the girls were willing to befriend a foreigner. But she'd made friends with some of the staff. "I'd never known a lack of anything. I was ashamed I had to steal or beg for food." She wrung her hands and stared at the floor. "Soon after arriving in Kyoto he left me at Shimabara."  
  
"Did he hurt you?" Hijikata lifted her chin.  
  
She swallowed at the fierceness of his gaze. "No, he treated me like a sister for the most part. He was kind, filled with humor, and I thought his flirtations meant something." She shrugged. "I've been at Shimabara since. One of the women who started my training eventually expanded it to weapons as well. After a year and a half they allowed me to serve guests, but only in the dining rooms. He came only once and asked me to spy for him. He'd learned I was studying ninjutsu and provided me with some of the weapons I carry. I was indebted, I couldn't say no." She gave a harsh laugh. "I don't even know if he received the reports I sent. He never bothered to meet me."  
  
"Your loyalty to him is misplaced."  
  
"I knew you would think so. All I have is my promise, and I will honor it until my dying breath."  
  
"Does the promise you made to the Shinsengumi carry the same weight?"  
  
Aimi shrugged. "It does. No one seems to have taken it seriously." She tried to keep the edge out of her voice. She struggled to find a balance between the world she grew up in, and the world that was her home.  
  
"We have, which is why you're still alive."  
  
She gave a nervous laugh. "I would like to repay you for your hospitality. I don't like being indebted to anyone."  
  
"You owe us nothing, Aika. You're our guest, just as Yukimura is. I will speak with Gen about some tasks you may do. You're under our protection, it isn't something we take lightly." Hijikata touched her shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "There are secrets we must keep, for your safety and ours. It is for this reason, the two of you must remain with us."  
  
Aimi bit her lip and nodded. "I understand."

* * *

  
Aimi prepared for bed, but sleep eluded her. The earlier conversation with Hijikata played over in her mind. She had no place to go now, not that she wanted to return to Shimabara. She sighed at her lack of options. What chance did she have of finding her mother's or father's family if she couldn't leave her room?  She tossed off the covers and rolled to her knees. She needed some air.  
  
Wrapping a jacket around her shoulders she padded to the door and slid it open. She stopped to listen before stepping into the hall. Her room was near the back. She could head toward the front and the courtyard, or slip into the garden. She chose the garden. She didn't want anyone to think she was trying to escape.  
  
She found it deserted, and settled onto the bench near the small pond. A fountain bubbled up, then fell trickling over rocks. The sound soothed her frazzled nerves. The full moon above reflected in the pool where Koi swam lazily among the lily pads.  
  
"It's not safe for you to be out of your room at this hour." Hijikata's voice broke the silence.  
  
"..." Words failed her at the sight of him. His kimono was loosely tied, exposing much of his bare chest. A look she was more used to seeing on Shin, or Sano. His hair was loose around his shoulders, still damp from a bath. The moonlight reflecting in the moisture shone like diamonds. She was grateful the shadows hid her blush from him. She licked her lips and turned away. "I couldn't sleep and thought some fresh air might help."  
  
Hijikata sat beside her. "Is this a regular occurrence?"  
  
She chuckled. "No, I rarely have trouble sleeping. I really haven't left my room before tonight unless escorted." She darted a look at him.  
  
He nodded. "I find sleep elusive tonight as well." He clenched his jaw and touched her shoulder. "I apologize again for earlier."  
  
She looked at the ground, watching her feet sway beneath the bench. "I'm used to it. Even though I only served in the dining rooms, it was assumed I was available for other entertainment."  
  
His fingers brushed over her neck. The tingling sensation from earlier returned and her breath hitched in her chest. He cupped the back of her head and turned her face toward him. Then dropped his hand to the bench behind her.  
  
"I mistook your boldness for experience."  
  
"My boldness?"  
  
"I've known only a few women as fierce as you." He chuckled shaking his head. "My sister and Souji's sister, Mitsu are the first to come to mind."  
  
"I see. I suppose it's from being raised in the West. Women there aren't as timid as they are here. Oki-san was forever reminding me I needed to be more sedate. It's a lesson I've found difficult to master."  
  
Hijikata chuckled. "You needn't change a thing." His warm breath fluttered against her cheek. The faint scent of mint carried on the air.  
  
She found herself staring into his eyes. They mesmerized her, drawing her in. She leaned closer, lifting her hand to touch the bare chest on display.  
  
Hijikata intercepted her hand, curling his own around it. "Do you know what you're offering?"  
  
She blinked at him as his words registered. "I..." What would he think of her if she said she did?  
  
He let out a loud breath and shook his head. "I suppose not. Come, I'll take you back to your room." Still holding her hand he stood, and pulled her to her feet.  
  
Aimi stared at the ground. The need to touch him had overwhelmed her. She pressed her hand to her cheek to cool it. Hijikata held her other hand as they walked back to her room. His thumb caressed over the back of it. Each gentle stroke sent a shiver over her skin. She marveled that the back of her hand could be so sensitive. She darted shy looks at him trying to read his expression. His face was devoid of any emotion.  
  
Hijikata touched the small of her back, guiding her through the door. Tendrils of heat branched from each spot his fingers made contact. Her heart sped in her chest.  
  
"You should rest." He released her just inside the door.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"What are you apologizing for?"  
  
"I've displeased you." She bit her cheek and lowered her eyes.  
  
He surged forward grabbing her shoulders. "You haven't."  
  
She stared into his eyes, searching for a lie. Her gaze fell to his lips. Her heart slammed against the wall of her chest.  
  
"Damn, you don't make this easy." His mouth twisted up in a pained grin.  
  
Her mouth grew dry and instinctively her tongue darted out to moisten her lips. Hijikata squeezed her shoulders, a growl rumbled in his chest.  
  
"I'm not a man to toy with. The next time you make such an offer, I won't refuse. You better be damn sure it's what you want." He released her and whirled toward the door.  
  
She stood dazed and confused. She pressed a hand to her chest, willing her heart to slow. She crumpled to her futon. Relief and longing washed over her in equal measure. A lessor man wouldn't have walked away. Part of her wished he hadn't. Her cheeks burned with that thought.  
  
She sighed and admonished herself. She'd easily lost her head. Something she hadn't done in over two years. She needed to keep her wits around him. Beneath that icy exterior was a man driven by passion. She’d find herself burned if not careful.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Over five months have passed since meeting the men of the Shinsengumi. Aimi and Chizuru are able to explore Kyoto for the day. They travel to Fushimi with Saito. Aimi must keep her wits about her. She'd never betray the Shinsengumi, but the circumstances aren't in her favor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For BiaSoul, your enthusiasm and kindness is so very appreciated. Thank you!

May 1864  
  
Nearly three months after Hijikata and Sanan returned to Kyoto, Hijikata allowed Aimi more freedom. He asked her to stay to her room until the compound grew quiet. Aimi helped Chizuru with various tasks around the compound. Occasionally, she poured tea while the captains met to discuss the numerous rumors and possible threats circulating around Kyoto. She prepared the tea and with Saito's help carried it to the common room.  
  
She stepped through the door and came face to face with Hijikata. Instead of his usual scowl he wore a warm smile. The sight of it caused her to misstep and she nearly spilt her tray of cups. He caught her arms and steadied her. She’d seen little of him, speaking only when they passed each other or the occasions he'd stop by her room after dinner. Their conversations were brief. Aimi’s temper grew shorter each day she stayed confined. Aimi wasn’t on to break rules, but she would push back when she felt her treatment was unjust. The last time they spoke, she demanded he find time for her to train outside of her room. Their shouting brought the attention of the other captains.  
  
A chortle rose behind them and she realized Hijikata still held her. She glared over his shoulder at the laughing Okita. He found delight in tormenting her. Though, she had to admit, he didn't reserve his teasing or sarcasm just for her. Okita subjected everyone to his twisted sense of humor. She would put up with him for the brief moments of company. She still took her meals alone in her room now that Chizuru joined everyone. She knew they kept her busy with meal preparation and clean up, but Aimi couldn’t help but feel the loss.  
  
"Not very graceful for a geigi, can't even walk without tripping." Okita's eyes sparkled and he gave her and Hijikata a wide grin.  
  
Aimi opted to ignore him. "Thank you Hijikata-san. I wasn't watching where I was going."  
  
Hijikata nodded and stepped aside, letting her and Saito pass though.  
  
"Saito, would you retrieve Yukimura?" He asked after Saito set the tea tray down.  
  
Saito nodded and left the room. Aimi poured tea for each man. As she made her way around the room she found only three spaces open. Two were on either side of Okita, and one beside Hijikata. Okita gave her a wolfish grin and patted the cushion to his left. She bit the inside of her cheek and glared at him. If she sat with him, she'd likely dump her tea over his head. The only other place to sit was beside Hijikata.  
  
Aimi hesitated a moment. While most people found his stony looks and harsh tone intimidating, she found his gruffness endearingly honest. Unlike Chizuru, Aimi wasn't afraid to match him toe to toe. The only other man she argued with as much, was Okita. Some of their shouting matches brought the other captains who quickly separated the two of them. No one, however, interrupted the arguments she and Hijikata had.  
  
"Are you going to stand there staring all day?" Okita asked.  
  
"Souji, knock it off," Hijikata said.  
  
Okita shrugged. "You can sit near me Aika-chan. I'm not in a biting mood today." He smirked at her.  
  
Aimi snorted and shook her head. "Which means you especially are, no thank you."  
  
The others chuckled at her. Kondou spoke up and waved her over. "Come, sit with me and Toshi."

Harada’s eyes softened when she met his gaze. She gave a slight nod but didn’t return his smile. He let out an audible sigh. She knew little of him. He didn’t speak to her other than to thank her for the laundry or mending she did.  
  
Aside from Chizuru, Kondou spent the most time with her. Before she was free to move about more, Kondou brought her tea a few days a week. He regaled her with tales of their early days at the dojo. Kondou saw each of them as younger brothers, or sons, and they in turn looked up to him. She herself found it difficult not to like him. She had tried to hate them all on principle, but his charm and honest nature endeared him to her. Thanks to him, she also knew more about each one of them. He was especially fond of Hijikata and Okita. It troubled him that the two could find no common ground. Okita and Saito were close, and Okita looked up to Sanan.  
  
She knelt on the cushion beside Hijikata and waited for Chizuru to join them. The fine hair on the back of her neck stood up, and she looked up to find him staring at her with a curious expression.  
  
"You're quiet this morning, Aika." His lips turned up in a smirk.  
  
"I do know how to hold my tongue."  
  
He chuckled. "I wouldn't have guessed."  
  
Her cheeks grew warm, recalling their last argument, and she focused on her tea. She couldn’t begin to guess the reason for the change in his behavior toward her. She was grateful when the door slid open and Chizuru entered with Saito.  
  
Hijikata gave Chizuru a slight smile and motioned for her to sit.  
  
"I know you've been waiting for some time, but the time has finally come to let you go out." Hijikata addressed Aimi, "you as well. Chizuru can act as your page."  
  
"REALLY!?" Chizuru could hardly contain her excitement.  
  
"Are you sure it's okay for me to leave the compound?" Aimi worried she might cause them trouble without meaning too. "You said yourself that a woman staying here would cause all sorts of trouble. If I'm seen out with any of the captains, rumors will start."  
  
"Well, if you don't want to leave I won't force you, but we didn't intend to keep you confined for so long."  
  
"If you're certain it won't cause trouble, then yes, I'd like to go out." Aimi felt excitement building. She'd had little opportunity to explore Kyoto since she arrive nearly two and a half years ago. She'd only seen the streets at night. Aside from the rare occasions they allowed her to walk with other geigi as they strolled near Shimabara hoping to draw in more business.  
  
"So it's true a man matching my father's description was seen near Fushimi?" Chizuru asked  
  
"We're not sure if it's true or not. It’s our intention to let you verify for us, considering his daughter would recognize him best," Hijikata answered.  
  
"Where was he last seen?"  
  
"Our initial reports point to Tereda Inn in Fushimi. I've assigned Saito to check." Hijikata waved at Saito.  
  
Chizuru looked around Okita to Saito. He nodded in response.  
  
"This doesn't mean Kodo was a guest at the inn," Harada said.  
  
"A sighting could mean he was walking around the city of Kyoto," Nagakura added. “He could be anywhere.”  
  
"Exactly," Hijikata said.  
  
He turned to Harada, Nagakura and Heisuke and asked them to take Chizuru with them on their rounds. She stared at the three as they questioned Hijikata's reason for the three to join together when they normally patrol on their own. He didn't speak, only looked pointedly at Chizuru. Her expression fell. Their duty was to the Shinsengumi and its secrets. Her safety fell under those duties. If her behavior jeopardized them, her protectors would serve as her executioners. Aimi shook off the cold crawl of fear over her skin. Chizuru was young, but she trusted these men would help her find her father. She wouldn't run.  
  
Heisuke's expression was grim. Harada and Nagakura gave him a blank expression as the three of them agreed.  
  
"I understand what you're saying, but I don't like the idea that you're making us do all the babysitting. Aren't you also patrolling, Hijikata-san? So why don't you show your adorable little page the ropes by having her with you?" Okita spoke up.  
  
"What the hell are you talking about? Aren't you the one who pushed her onto me? I'll have none of your insolence today. She isn't my page."  
  
"Maybe, but all the lower-ranking men think she is. There's a grain of truth in every lie, so why not give her a befitting job?" Okita asked.  
  
The two of them argued back and forth, and the room took on a dark mood.  
  
Harada leaned close to Chizuru and spoke too softly for Aimi to hear. Chizuru nodded and paused in thought before speaking.  
  
"I will go to Tereda Inn. Saito, would you mind if I come along with you?"  
  
Hijikata relaxed and turned to Aimi. "I want you to go with them. Chizuru will act as your page, Saito will act as your guard." He turned to Saito. "Is this arrangement acceptable to you?"  
  
"Sure." Saito nodded.

* * *

They set off within the hour. Aimi and Chizuru both walked briskly to keep pace with Saito. He noticed their discomfort and slowed his pace.  
  
When they arrived, Saito stopped outside the tea house. Aimi grew nervous. The Tereda Inn was where she met her contact. Though, they always met at night, and he never realized she was a woman. She met him dressed as a man, and stayed to the shadows. Still, she worried someone who saw her at Shimabara would recognize her. Saito led them to a seat near the balcony. From here they could see the inn and most of the tea shop. Chizuru seemed confused and disappointed by his actions.  
  
"The Tereda Inn has been noted in reports to be a popular destination for the Satsuma Domain. Because of this I am cautious there could be ronin from the west staying here."  
  
Aimi chewed the inside of her cheek. She thought her mother's family might be from the west. She tried to think back on what little she spoke of her family. Her mother mentioned a young boy when she took ill. Her biggest regret was not seeing him grow to become a man. When Aimi asked who he was, her mother hesitated, before telling Aimi he was her younger brother. Aimi racked her brain, trying to recall his name, but it eluded her.  
  
"Are you alright Aika-san?" Chizuru asked.  
  
"What? Oh, I'm fine. I was thinking of something my mother told me. I think her family was from the west, but she didn't speak of them often." Aimi sighed to herself. She despaired of ever finding the truth about her family.  
  
They took their seat on the balcony with the owner's permission. Chizuru seemed to be enjoying herself and asked anyone willing to talk to her news about her father. Aimi looked up to see a familiar face across the crowded tea house. Her heart slammed into her throat, and she lost her breath. She strained to catch sight of him again to be certain, but he was nowhere to be seen. Was it only someone who looked like him?  
  
"Um, Chizuru, please excuse me, I must use the ladies room." If he was here, Aimi wanted to avoid him. She couldn't risk being exposed before she had proven herself trustworthy.  
  
She hurried off, ducking around tables and pausing behind those standing to look for any sign of him. She breathed a sigh of relief when she reached the ladies bathroom without running across him. She waited a bit, then cautiously made her way back to their table.  
  
"Waiting for someone?"  
  
Aimi stopped in her tracks. That voice was unmistakable. She stepped behind a column and peered around it. Sitting in her vacant seat was Saitani. Chizuru scanned the room with a frown. Aimi stepped back out of sight. She couldn't let Chizuru draw his attention to her.  
  
"You are either waiting for someone or looking for someone."  
  
His voice was jovial and boisterous. Aimi had no trouble hearing him from her hiding place. She risked another look and watched him closely. He leaned toward Chizuru. His face wore a warm smile, but his shoulders were tense. She recognized his guarded body language easily. Chizuru hesitantly explained the situation. Why had he approached Chizuru? His behavior was off.  
  
"I should help you out!"  
  
"Is something wrong?" Saito spoke softly behind her.  
  
Aimi jumped at his voice. She’d been so focused on Saitani she’d dropped her guard. "You scared the hell out of me!" Aimi whispered.  
  
"Who is Yukimura speaking with?"  
  
"Um..." Aimi wasn't certain what to say. Should she lie to Saito or betray Saitani? She decided saying nothing was best.  
  
"I see..." Saito watched Chizuru carefully.  
  
"So what kind of men do you like? If you had to go on a date, where would you go?" Saitani asked Chizuru.  
  
"Oh brother." Aimi rolled her eyes. The man was a cad. Did he ask those questions of every woman he met?  
  
"Wait by the door, I will retrieve Yukimura." Saito stepped around the column without waiting for her reply.  
  
Relieved, Aimi stepped just outside and into the shadow of the building next door. She wondered what was taking them so long. She decided to find them when a firm hand gripped her arm from behind.  
  
"Don't make a sound," Saitani whispered in her ear. The grip on her arm left no doubt he would hurt her if she tried to resist. The object pressed against her back stole her breath. Would he shoot her with so many witnesses? She weighed her options as he pushed her forward. "I know what your thinking, do you wish to endanger others?"  
  
She wilted in defeat.  
  
He'd put away his gun, but held her tightly around the waist. He guided her into the neighboring shop. The owner greeted them cheerfully. To him they appeared as a couple shopping together. Saitani led her to the first display.  
  
"I've been searching for you for months." He leaned down and murmured in her ear, continuing the deception the two of them were intimate.  
  
"I can't talk to you here," Aimi whispered back.  
  
"What do you think of these fans? Are they well made?" Saitani spoke louder causing nearby customers to look up and smile at them.  
  
"Aika-san, is everything all right?" Saito called from the doorway. His hand rested lightly on his blade.  
  
Saitani released her and tossed a smile over his shoulder.  
  
"I'm fine. I'm sorry I didn't wait for you, I..." She put a step of distance between them slowly. Saito was an exceptional swordsman. However, Saitani's pistol put the odds in his favor. She would do all she could to prevent an altercation. She gave Saito a pleading look. He returned it with a barely perceptible nod, had she blinked she'd have missed it.  
  
"My apologies. I wanted to buy a fan for a special lady, but needed a woman's opinion," Saitani gave Saito a short bow. "My sister would be angry with me if I returned home without a suitable gift."  
  
"I'm sure any of these would be well received," Aimi said.  
  
"I apologize again, I didn't give you much of a choice, did I? You see, I'm leaving in a few hours, and was desperate to find the perfect gift before I set sail." Saitani offered a further explanation.  
  
"I don't think you can go wrong if you chose something in her favorite color, or with her favorite flowers." Aimi opened one of the fans and fluttered it near her face. "They are very lovely."  
  
"That one doesn't suit you at all." He moved to a different display and picked up a fan. "Now this one is perfect, it compliments your eyes." He gave her a wide grin and bowed. "Allow me to purchase it for you as an apology, and a thank you."  
  
"Oh no, I couldn't possibly accept such a gift." Aimi replaced the fan she picked up and crossed her arms into the sleeves of her kimono.  
  
"I insist, I must atone for my rudeness. Your advice was perfect, I should have thought of it myself. Now I will have the perfect gift."  
  
"I'm pleased I could help."  
  
Saito stayed silent, willing to let things play out. Perhaps she misjudged him? Or did he simply wait until there were no witnesses? She bit her cheek, it was what she herself would do.  
  
"Say, Chizuru, I'm glad I saw you again before I leave. What is your favorite flower?"  
  
Chizuru peered owlishly around Saito. "Um, cherry blossoms. They are so delicate and smell so sweet."  
  
Saitani beamed at her. He scanned the table. His eyes lit on one adorned with delicate cherry blossoms in white. He picked one more and waved at the shop owner.  
  
"I would like these three, my friend."  
  
"Oh, yes, thank you, sir." The owner bowed, grateful to make such a sale. "Shall I wrap them for you?"  
  
"Only this one, these two are for these lovely ladies here." Saitani handed him one of the fans.  
  
"I really can't...You've apologized, there's...." Aimi began, but he cut her off.  
  
"I insist you accept my apology. I have an acquaintance with your eye color. I shall have to tell them about meeting you."  
  
Aimi's heart slammed into her throat. Someone who had her mother's eyes? Was he trying to tell her he located her family? Or trying to throw Saito off, saying she only reminded him of someone he knows?  
  
He held a fan out to Chizuru. "You too Chizuru. It's the least I can do."  
  
Chizuru hesitantly took hers and stepped back behind Saito. He stayed silent throughout the exchange.  
  
The owner watched them as he wrapped the third fan. His expression pensive. If she didn't accept the gift he would likely have to offer a refund. Aimi bit the inside of her cheek. She would insult the store owner if she didn't take it.  
  
"I see there is no denying you." She gave him a slight bow. "I accept your apology, sir."  
  
"Excellent."  A wide grin warmed his face.  
  
Aimi took the offered fan. She turned it in her hand, curious at the weight of it. She opened it and fanned it. Not just a simple fan. Her sensei carried one like it. Used properly, it was a weapon. "You are far too generous, sir."  
  
"Nonsense. You've taken this young woman under your wing, have you not?"  
  
"Um, yes. I'm watching over her." She did feel responsible for Chizuru.  
  
"Fortune has smiled on me today to become acquainted with such a kind and generous woman. Might I ask your name?"  
  
Butterflies fluttered in her stomach, just as they did every time he turned his charm toward her.  
  
"You are too free with your compliments, but thank you. My name is Aika, sir."  
  
"Aika. What a fitting name." His voice lowered, and took on a sultry tone. "You must call me Ume. I hope to see you again when I return. Fate brought us together, may she smile on us and reunite us once more."  
  
Her heart slammed in her chest. Damn the man and his flirtations. She couldn't trust him, but his honeyed words and tone tugged at something deep and primal within her. She'd do well to remember how dangerous a man he is.  
  
"We really should be going." Aimi bowed to Saitani. "I hope your sister enjoys her gift."  
  
"I should be on as well, my time is short today." He waved cheerily and ducked out the door with the other fan tucked under his arm.  
  
Aimi let out a breath when they left the shop. Saito walked closely beside her. A perplexed expression wrinkled his brow. When they had traveled some distance from the shop he turned to her.  
  
"The man you were talking too..."  
  
"Oh, did you mean Saitani?” Chizuru asked. "He certainly was very friendly." Chizuru gripped her fan tightly in her fist.  
  
"He was an odd man. Usually I can read people, but his outward demeanor was overly friendly, while his body language was guarded."  
  
"I hadn't noticed. Was something about him troubling you, Saito?" Chizuru's brow furrowed. "He was very persistent, but I thought he was just being kind."  
  
Saito nodded. "You can tell a swordsman by their expression." He stared pointedly at Aimi.  
  
She cocked an eyebrow at him and gave him a toothy smile. "Does that always work for you?"  
  
His frown deepened. "Not lately."  
  
She didn't expect to fool Saito for long. His ability to sense a lie was unnatural. Dread filled her as she imagined Hijikata's anger over what happened. Would he confine her to her room again, or would he decide the risk of keeping her alive was too great?

* * *

They continued in silence. At the gate of the compound he dismissed Chizuru to help with dinner. He escorted Aimi to her room, but turned toward Hijikata's room instead. Aimi groaned inwardly. Damn Saitani anyway. She'd not heard much from him in the last year and saw even less of him.  
  
"Hijikata-san, I've brought Aika-san."  
  
"Come in."  
  
Saito slid back the door and ushered her inside. She held her chin up and gave Hijikata a bright smile. If they guessed her secret she wouldn't deny it, but she wouldn't come out and just give them the information willingly.  
  
"Did you learn anything about Kodo-san?"  
  
"No. The man in question wasn't Kodo, simply a man with a similar description," Saito reported.  
  
Hijikata let out a loud breath. "I'm sorry you had to waste your time checking it out. How did Yukimura do?"  
  
"She behaved as expected." Saito looked at Aimi. "The trip was informative, nonetheless."  
  
Hijikata raised an eyebrow.  
  
Saito continued. "A man approached Yukimura while she sat alone."  
  
Hijikata crossed his arms and glared at Aimi.

She waited for Saito to continue, but he looked pointedly at her.  
  
"I went to the ladies room. When I returned they were talking. I was under the impression he was offering to help her search for her father, and didn't want to ruin her chance of finding a lead. I stayed out of sight but close enough to assist her if she ran into trouble."  
  
"She was avoiding the man who spoke with Yukimura, as if she were afraid to be seen. While I paid their bill, I asked Aika-san to wait by the door. I found her in a neighboring shop with the same man, helping him pick out a gift."  
  
Aimi willed her hands to stop shaking. She understood their doubt. She could have given him information while no one was watching.  
  
"A frequent visitor to Shimabara?" Hijikata asked.  
  
"No." Aimi shook her head.  
  
"I see. And did he visit at all while you were there?"  
  
Aimi gave him a bright smile. "Only once, that I know of. Before that I wasn't allowed to serve guests."  
  
"Do you recall his name?"  
  
"Saitani Umetaro." Aimi turned to Saito, her brow furrowed in thought. "Wasn't that the name he gave Chizuru?"  
  
"It was. What do you know of him?"  
  
"Very little. He's very adept at redirecting a conversation." Aimi held Saito's gaze. “He doesn’t live in Kyoto. I don’t know where he’s from.”  
  
He narrowed his eyes at her. "I don't detect a lie, but you know something more."  
  
"I was a geigi. I've learned a number of embarrassing things about those who visit Shimabara, your own captains included. I wouldn't be a suitable companion if I shared those details."  
  
"Thank you, Saito. I believe you have the night off." Hijikata abruptly dismissed him.  
  
"Yes." Saito's brow furrowed.  
  
Aimi knew he didn't like the way she evaded his questions. She silently thanked her teachers for providing the lessons which allowed her to talk circles around most people. She had yet to talk her way around Hijikata. She notice he was usually two or three steps ahead of everyone. She admired his analytical mind, just not when she was trying to outwit him.  
  
"I will escort Aika to her room, you may do as you please." Hijikata stood and the two men bowed to each other.  
  
Aimi resisted the urge to wipe her clammy hands on her kimono. A bead of sweat trickled between her shoulder blades despite the cool evening. Hijikata placed a hand on her lower back and ushered her out the door. Her heart rate sped up at his intimate touch.  
  
Once in the hallway he took her arm as if it were his right. She stumbled and found herself pulled against him. He never missed a step. He didn't speak until they entered her room and he closed the door behind them.  
  
"I don't believe he truly needed your assistance picking out a gift." Hijikata crossed his arms over his chest and stared her down.  
  
"He was quite insistent." She furrowed her brow. "He asked Chizuru what flower she liked. He all but demanded we accept a fan as well." She reached into the pocket of her kimono and pulled out the fan. "Here, the one he insisted I take."  
  
Hijikata opened the fan and tested the weight of it. He studied her face, his brow wrinkled in thought. He nodded and handed it back to her.  
  
"I see. If I want a direct answer I must ask a direct question?"  
  
"That's usually how things work. Assumptions often lead to misunderstandings." Aimi stepped to the shelf where she kept her comb and mirror. She placed the fan on the shelf. She lifted the mirror and pretended to fix her hair.  
  
"Did you meet Saitani at Shimabara or on a ship?"  
  
Aimi watched him in the mirror and chewed her lower lip. "You know I won't lie after my promise to you. Must I answer that question?" She turned and peered at him expectantly.  
  
Hijikata let out a heavy breath. "No, I suppose there is no doubt he was your contact." Hijikata stared at the floor and began mumbling under his breath. "How are we to keep up with such a clever woman?"  
  
Aimi hid her smile. "You think I'm clever?"  
  
His head snapped up. "It's not that women aren't intelligent...Perhaps it's where you were raised." He nodded satisfied with this answer.  
  
Aimi scoffed. "Men have convinced themselves we're not as smart as they are. I assure you that isn't the case. You're shortsightedness makes it far too easy to mislead you."  
  
"Did you reveal anything to him?"  
  
Aimi shook her head. "I was trying not to be seen at all. He said he had been searching for me. I told him I was unable to talk to him. Saito found us before he could press me further. Saitani used the fans as a cover. I played along with his ruse. I didn't want to cause a scene and possible altercation involving innocents."  
  
"I have one last question. Is Saitani the only name you know him by?"  
  
Aimi studied his expression. That Hijikata didn't doubt her previous answer was clear in the calm, almost warm expression on his face.  
  
"Yes. If he has a different name I'm not aware of it."  
  
"Good girl. You have kept your promise to us, and to him as well." He gave her a warm smile.  
  
He bowed slightly and left her room. Aimi sunk to a pillow as relief washed over her. She expected to return to her execution, thanks to Saitani's interference. She never expected Hijikata to trust her. The feeling left her a little giddy, as did the recollection of his warm smile, and the feel of his body pressed to her side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone who has given their time to check out my little story. I hope you will continue to return to read future chapters. If you are enjoying this, I'd love to hear from you. Even the shortest of comments keep me writing.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aimi is allowed the use of the garden in the early morning hours. Her relationship with the officers of the Shinsengumi still has it's ups and downs, and she finds an unlikely ally.

June 1864  
  
Since she returned from Fushimi, Hijikata allowed Aimi to use the garden to train each morning. Located behind Yagi house, the garden was secluded from the rest of the compound. She found it to be the perfect setting, and enabled her to expand her workout. She chose to strengthen her agility. Her skin tingled and the fine hair on her neck stood. Someone watched from the shadows, who she didn't know. She shook off the feeling and continued. She expected someone to observe her actions each time she stepped out of her room. Someone always hid in the shadows nearby. She let them believe their presence went unnoticed.  
  
The trees and back wall offered her the perfect backdrop. After running through the blocks, kicks and punches she'd learned, she turned toward the wall. She crouched and kick at the dirt with her foot. She ran up the wall at an angle. She reached a point halfway up before pinwheeling her arms and shifting direction. The momentum carried her across the wall toward the tree. She pushed away from the wall to launch herself into a spin before landing in a crouch. She kicked at the dirt again and ran up the nearest tree. She grabbed at a branch and swung herself up and over, before jumping to the roof of the building she resided in. She raced to the end of it and somersaulted off. She tucked her body into a roll and came up on her hands and feet. She stood and dusted off her hands, satisfied with her skill.  
  
"Impressive."  
  
Aimi glanced at direction of the intruder, she vaguely recalled the voice.  
  
Stepping from the shadows was the Shinsengumi's medic. Aside from the captains, he was one of the few who knew how she came to be there.  
  
"Greetings, Yamazaki-san." She bowed to him.  
  
He returned her bow. "I apologize for not announcing myself earlier. I didn't want to break your concentration. I am pleased to see you've recovered."  
  
She smirked at him. "I knew you were there. Well, not you exactly, but I knew someone watched."  
  
His eyes widened slightly then a frown creased his brow. "How long have you trained?"  
  
"That depends, which training do you mean?  
  
"You carry many weapons, how long have you trained with them?"  
  
"Oh, a little over two years now."  
  
He peered at her with owlish eyes. "Only two years? I would have guess longer."  
  
Aimi shrugged, she let him assume all her training came in the last two years. "I'm a fast learner, and my teacher was very demanding." Her dance instructor was far more demanding than her sensei. He'd been just as disappointed when she grew too tall for a formal career as a dancer.  
  
"The best teachers are." He gave her a wry smile.  
  
"Agreed. You are a student yourself then?"  
  
"I've worked with the Shinsengumi for just over a year. My father is a doctor and I train under Matsumoto-san."  
  
Why did he want her to think he was only their medic? She recognized the purposeful grace in his walk received from training in the arts. He wore an elegant blue kimono, but no weapon. He held himself taunt, in the same way as most of the samurai she met.  
  
He cocked his head at her and studied her. His eyes narrowed a moment.  
  
Aimi raised an eyebrow. "Something troubling you?"  
  
"Why have you stayed? Clearly you can escape with ease."  
  
Aimi nodded. "It's simple really, I gave my word."  
  
"Many people make promises they don't keep."  
  
Aimi let out a chuckle. "Very true, especially where I grew up. My mother taught me a person is only as good as their word. Once a promise is made, it must be upheld. Only death, or those you give your promise to, can release you from it." She crossed to the well and lifted a bucket of water. Cupping her hands she took a drink, then wiped the sweat from her neck. "Until I met the captains of the Shinsengumi, no one seemed to understand the concept."  
  
Her skin tingled again. Aimi was growing accustomed to sensing him. She turned and bowed. "Greetings, Hijikata-san."  
  
Yamazaki whirled just as Hijikata stepped out of the shadows. "Commander Hijikata-san." He bowed sharply, his arm across his chest.  
  
"Well, Yamazaki? Are you satisfied?"  
  
Yamazaki studied her intently. "Yes. She has fully recovered from her injury."  
  
Aimi smiled brightly at Hijikata. "Thank you for allowing me time in the garden."  
  
"I see you have made productive use of your time."  
  
Aimi shrugged. "I was never one to sit still for long."  
  
He nodded, a slight smile on his face. "I believe I saw Saito headed to your room with a tray."  
  
Aimi glanced at the shadows. "Yes, he always arrives at this time each morning. If you'll excuse me, Hijikata-san, Yamazaki-san." She bowed to each of them and walked away. Aimi recovered from her head injury weeks ago, why was Yamazaki here now? He'd not asked to examine her. She didn't have time to dwell on it. Saito stood outside her room.  
  
"Good morning, Saito-san."  
  
"Training already? I thought you overslept and was considering enlisting Chizuru's assistance."  
  
She opened her door and invited him in. "Hijikata-san allowed me use of the garden."  
  
Saito nodded.  
  
Aimi took the tray he carried. "Thank you for this."  
  
"You have nothing to thank me for. You can't join us for meals."  
  
"Still, you take the time each morning to bring it. I thought Chizuru would take over once she started helping in the kitchen. It seems a task beneath an officer of the Shinsengumi." She placed the tray on her desk.  
  
"I don't mind. I've become aware of your preferences, it would take time for another to do so. If you prefer Chizuru bring it from now on..."  
  
Aimi bowed low. "Forgive me, I didn't mean to imply I didn't want you to. I simply tried to explain my gratitude."  
  
"Oh, I see."  
  
"Would you like some tea? I have an extra cup."  
  
His eyes flicked to the pot and then to her eyes. Aimi crossed to retrieve the cup. "Thank you, but I don't have time. I am on patrol this morning."  
  
"Then I won't keep you any longer. Thank you Saito-san. May your patrol be productive."  
  
He gave a short bow and turned on his heel. Aimi let out a small breath. She needed to take care in how she spoke to all of them. She couldn't afford to accidentally insult one of them.

* * *

  
Aimi seethed as she moved through her daily workout. She pretended the rattan dummy was Okita. The insufferable man knew just how to push her buttons. He'd interrupted her tea with Chizuru. Again. Aimi let him to goad her into shouting at him. How could someone so immature become captain of the 1st Division? Why did she let him get to her?  
  
No one here was as she'd expected. She'd met Harada, Nagakura and Heisuke while working at Shimabara. She vaguely recalled them bringing Okita and Saito with them once. At the time she hadn't realized they were with the Shinsengumi. She expected men tasked with keeping order in Kyoto to be older and wiser. These men were her age or slightly older. All of them except for a few. Inoue was the oldest among them, then Kondou and his two commanders.  
  
She had to keep her guard up continuously. In the beginning, self preservation was her motivator, now she needed to keep them from mistaking her kindness for interest. More than once she caught the wistful look in Harada's eyes as he watched her. Would her heart stutter in her chest at his smile if Harada, not Hijikata, found her in the garden that night? She almost wished it would. Despite his prowess as a warrior, Harada was a kind and honest man. He would strive to make his wife happy.  
  
Aimi snorted to herself. With a sigh she put away her wakizashi. Her mind had drifted too far, and she found herself unable to redirect it.  Would she ever find herself free of here? Many her age were wed already, with babies on the way. Most of her peers left school because they married. Few reached the age of eighteen unwed, as she had. Nearly three years later, and her life was still uncertain. She longed for a family, a place to belong. Hijikata's face flashed in her mind, a slight smile on his face. She tired to push it aside, but beside him were two children, one with his eyes and one with hers. No, she shouldn't think of him that way. He may have shown a man's interest in her, but she didn't see him as the type to settle down. She would only find pain along that path. A man like him would find many women willing to share his bed for a time.  
  
Aimi sat in seiza  and closed her eyes. She needed to turn her mind from things she couldn't control. She emptied her mind of the past, for she could change none of it. The future was unknown, only her actions today mattered. She continued to meditate until the waves of thoughts in her mind stilled. She stood and stretched and crossed to the pitcher of water. She stripped and cleansed the sweat from her body.  
  
She stood before the mirror, her back to it, trying for the third time to tie her obi. She knew how to, but had always tied someones for them, and they tied hers in return. Even in school she had someone to attend her. She bit the inside of her cheek. There she received respect and freedom. Here she was no one. To Japan she was less than nothing. She had no family, no past, and now no future.  
  
"Aika-san, may I come in?" Hijikata called from her door.  
  
"Oh, um, yes."  
  
He slid open the door and entered.  
  
"I'll be just a moment." She turned back to her task and watched him approach in the mirror. Her heart skipped a beat when he reached for her.  
  
"Here, you look like you need assistance."  
  
"I'm afraid I do. Chizuru usually helps me." She turned her back to him and watched him through the mirror.  
  
"She is busy with dinner preparations." He focused on her obi, tying it deftly. A twinge of jealous speared her chest at how easily he tied a woman's obi. He smoothed the ends of it. His hands rested on her waist and his eyes met hers in the mirror.  
  
As always, his gaze held her mesmerized. Her mind returned to the earlier vision. Standing on either side of them were a boy and a girl. He with her eyes, and she with his. Aimi closed her eyes and willed it away.  
  
His hands gripped her hips and turned her to face him. She kept her chin down, afraid he would learn her thoughts if he saw her eyes.  
  
He lifted her chin, and narrowed his eyes as he looked into hers. "Something troubles you?"  
  
She held her breath. 'He is not for you, you ninny,' she admonished herself. "Things in the past, nothing new." She shrugged.  
  
He accepted her answer. "I would like you to join us for dinner." He released her and rested his wrist on his swords.  
  
"Really?" She looked down at her clothes and frowned. "It will take me a moment to change."  
  
"You needn't change. Your presence here is no longer a secret."  
  
"Oh dear. I am sorry if that causes you trouble." Aimi wrung her hands.  
  
"The fault is ours not yours. Someone overheard Souji arguing with a woman. He took it upon himself to explain the situation."  
  
Aimi's cheeks grew warm. She imagined a number of unflattering things Okita would say about her. "Do I want to know what he said?"  
  
Hijikata chuckled at her discomfort. "He told them you're his younger half-sister, and he rescued you from Shimabara."  
  
"He did what?" Aimi couldn't help raising her voice at this unexpected news. She was pretty sure she was older than him by a year.  
  
"You look a bit like his older sister. The other captains backed his claim. But it's not like anyone in the ranks would dare call him a liar and risk the ire of the Captain of the 1st Division."  
  
"A convenient lie."  
  
"You will have to give up your stage name." Hijikata smirked at her.  
  
Aimi gaped at him, but quickly closed her mouth.  
  
"You know under the circumstances how it would look if you continued using it."  
  
"I do." She'd not even given Saitani her real name. She'd given him her mother's name and decided to keep it as her stage name. To prevent confusion, she felt it best to continue using the name they already knew. "Aimi. I don't know my family name, so it's just Aimi."  
  
"Well then, Aimi-san, I am honored to meet you." Hijikata bowed slightly.  
  
"Why do I feel like you're mocking me?"  
  
Hijikata's cheeks darkened and he stood quickly giving her a wide eyed look. "I meant no offense. I am honored you trust me with your name."  
  
"Oh." Aimi's own cheeks warmed with a blush. She should have remembered the importance they placed on names. "I do trust you. Maybe someday you will trust me as well."  
  
Hijikata made a noise somewhere between a choke and a cough and opened her door. "I have a few things to attend to before dinner."

* * *

  
"Hey, little sister. You're late." Souji smirked at her.  
  
"I apologize, I received my invitation only moments ago."  
  
"Oh! I'm so happy you're joining us." Chizuru pointed to the cushion beside Harada. "Please, sit with us."  
  
Harada, Nagakura and Heisuke sat with her. Harada smiled and nodded.  
  
"Heh? You aren't going to sit with your big brother? I'm hurt." His words didn't match the jovial tone or expression on his face.  
  
"Maybe next time, Souji-kun." Aimi gave him a wide grin as she used a more intimate name.  
  
He laughed out loud. "Should I join you and act as chaperone?" His eyes narrowed on Harada.  
  
"What? Us? You don't trust us?" Nagakura asked. "Aika is safe with us."  
  
"Um, it's Aimi actually. Aika was my mother's name."  
  
"Aimi," Harada spoke her name softly. "An even prettier name."  
  
The room buzzed with the voices of many speaking at once. Heisuke and Nagakura fought over the fried tofu on Heisuke's plate. Aimi couldn't help but smile at their antics.  
  
"It's nice to see you out of your room." Harada leaned closer. "Even nicer to see your smile."  
  
Aimi sensed his presence before he entered the room. She looked up to find Hijikata scowling at them. Her cheeks warmed. There was an empty cushion at their table. "Would you care to join us, Hijikata-san?"  
  
"Commander, please, join us." Harada offered him hesitant invitation.  
  
"I shouldn't." He started to sit with Kondou and Sanan. Souji, Saito,  and Inoue surrounded their table.  
  
"Souji, sit with your sister." Hijikata stood with his hands on his hips.  
  
"Not my fault you're late. I've already started eating." Souji sipped his sake, a smug look on his face.  
  
Hijikata grumbled.  
  
"I'll move, sir." Saito reached for his tray.  
  
"No, stay put. I will sit with the children. It looks like they need an adult to keep them in line."  
  
Heisuke and Nagakura stopped wrestling, their chopsticks both held the same piece of fried tofu. They blushed, but held their tongues.  
  
"They're worse when Hijikata-san isn't around," Harada offered.  
  
Chizuru giggled. "They 'are' behaving tonight."  
  
Hijikata sat at Aimi's right, she turned to him and smiled.  
  
"Would you like some sake, Hijikata-san?" she asked, holding out the bottle.  
  
"No thank you, tea is fine for me."  
  
"I'll have some, Aimi-chan." Harada offered his cup.  
  
"Of course. Let me pour Hijikata-san's tea first."  
  
She alternated her attention toward each man. She slipped easily into her previous role as a companion. Forgetting to eat altogether in between their subtle demands.  
  
"Aren't you hungry?" Hijikata pointed to her untouched plate.  
  
"Oh, um, yes." She lifted a bite of sticky rice. Her cheeks burned as both men watched her eat. She put her chopsticks down. She still found them difficult to use, even more so when watched so closely. She wanted the company, but preferred to eat alone. "On second thought, I'm not very hungry after all."  
  
"Would you like some sake?" Harada asked.  
  
"Or perhaps you would like some tea?" Hijikata offered.  
  
She looked between them, each stared at her in earnest. She had the sinking feeling her choice had nothing to do with what she wanted to drink.  
  
"Um, I've never tried sake. I think I'll just stick with tea." Aimi swallowed the lump in her throat and focused on her lap. Both men grew silent.  
  
"I apologize, Aimi-chan. I didn't mean to put you on the spot." Harada was the first to break the silence with his whispered apology.  
  
Hijikata leaned over Aimi and poured sake into her empty cup. "Well, if you've never had sake, you should at least try it." Hijikata didn't look at her, but at Harada.  
  
Aimi met a pair of wide brow eyes across the table. Chizuru blinked in confusion at the three of them. Heisuke and Nagakura bantered back and forth, unaware of anything other than out doing each other. The conversation at the other table hadn't slowed. Aimi caught Souji staring. He raised his cup at her and smiled into it as he took a sip. Something dark sparked in his eyes.  
  
The air around her grew heavy. Aimi found it hard to breath. She'd ignored Harada's interest. His warm smile soothed her, but he didn't make her heart race the way Hijikata did. Which was why she hadn't given it any thought as she served each man. She sensed the double meaning in Hijikata's words. Aimi feared she'd made a grievous mistake and had no idea how to fix it.  
  
"If you'll excuse me. I don't feel very well." Aimi stood quickly and made her way to the door.  
  
"Wait up, little sister. I'll walk you back to your room." Souji didn't give her a chance to argue as he guided her through the door.  
  
He was quiet until they entered her room. "You've got terrible taste in men, you know that? Sano is a much better man than Hijikata-san."  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about."  
  
"You aren't 'that' innocent, Aimi-chan. You know, as well as I do, what was going on."  
  
Aimi shrugged. "It doesn't matter, you heard Hijikata-san." Her next sentence caught in her throat. Hijikata all but told her to redirect her attention to Harada. She couldn't face him.  
  
"Anyone tell you you're gullible?"  
  
"Why do you care?" she snapped at him.  
  
Souji grabbed her arm and swung her around. A scowl twisted his face. "I don't know why I care. I should hate you, but I don't." He shook his head. "It doesn't make sense. I don't even much like you. Maybe it's because you remind me of Mitsu before she married."  
  
She studied him, certain he was teasing. If he didn't even like her, why take on the role of her big brother? "Where's the smart remark? You live for them."  
  
Souji smirked at her. "Naw. It'd be too mean to tease you right now."  
  
"That hasn't stopped you before."  
  
"It's no fun when you're already defeated." He shrugged.  
  
She turned away, biting her tongue. She wouldn't slap away his offer of a truce, even if it were only temporary.  
  
"You need to learn to bend or you'll break." His tone held no teasing barb, only concern.  
  
Aimi let out a loud breath. "It's not an easy lesson to learn."  
  
"No, but we all have to learn it."  
  
"Have you?"  
  
Souji shook his head. "Maybe that's why I care. Or maybe it's because you're one of the few people who can sneak up on me."  
  
Aimi nodded. "I wouldn't have expected you to be so kind." She gave him a cheeky grin. "You hide it well."  
  
"Don't tell anyone, or sister or not, I'll have to kill you." To soften his words he gave her an awkward pat on the back. "Sleep well, little sister."  
  
"Souji?" She bit the inside of her cheek. She wanted to tell him to stop pretending to be her brother, but the genuine smile on his face tugged at her heart. She bowed to him. "Thank you, for everything."  
  
With a nod he was out the door.  
  
Aimi waited up. She expected Hijikata to come to her and clear the doubt from her heart. As the hours passed she grew certain he never would. She cried herself to sleep near dawn.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've pretty much given up on making this canon compliant in any semblance of the word. I will likely stick to some of the main events such as the raid on Ikeda Inn. And the other major battles, but Aimi's involvement with the Shinsengumi is (obviously) far outside the canon story and will likely stay that way through out. I still plan to bring in some more from Chizuru's journey. She's going to meet Kazama Chikage sometime in the next few chapters. 
> 
> I know this chapter ended on a grim note, but you didn't think it would be easy for Aimi did you? :D I don't think anyone will be disappointed for long, and I hope you bear with me to see how it all plays out.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After her first diner with the captains, Aimi decides she must convince them to let her leave. She can't break her promise, but can she convince them all to let her choose her own path?

Mid June 1864  
  
Two weeks passed since the first and only meal Aimi shared with the captains. She stayed in her room, refusing to come out. The first day she intended to avoid Hijikata. The second she wasn't sure why. On the third Souji told her Hijikata was in Osaka, he'd left three days ago. The fourth she stayed to cover her grief. He'd not even told her he was leaving. By the end of the first week she couldn't face everyone. Surely they talked of her foolishness, for only a fool would fall in love with such a hard man. Hijikata was a man whose duty came before everything else. His duty to the Emperor, the shogun, Kondou, the Shinsengumi, and to Kyoto. Was there any part of his heart left for love?  
  
Harada came by with dinner, and asked if he could join her. She refused him through the door. Her heart was too raw, too empty, too desperate. If she looked into his amber eyes, the last of her resolve would shatter. She would throw herself at him, beg him to help her forget. He would oblige her. Hadn't he wanted her from the moment their eyes met across the dining room of Shimabara? She'd felt her cheeks warm under his intense gaze, but she refused him then. Would her life be different if she had accepted?  
  
The second week continued like the first. She sat in seiza day in and day out, consumed by the many decisions that had lead her to this point. It all started when a woman fell in love. Her life was a mess because her mother loved someone forbidden to her. Aimi had no past, because her mother chose to leave it all behind, for her. And now the future her mother tried to provide her was turning to dust.  
  
Love. Why was that word so filled with pain? Did anyone who loved feel anything that made the pain worth it? There were fleeting moments of physical pleasure. They were little comfort and did nothing to ease the ache in her chest. She rubbed at it each day, trying to push it away. Each morning she woke with a sigh, believing she succeeded in crying away the pain the night before. Until the fullness of it returned and stole her breath.  
  
She refused even Chizuru's visits each day. Pretending to be deep in meditation when the door slid open and then closed again on her silence. She felt guilt for ignoring the girl. Chizuru's position wasn't much better than her own. But, at the end of the day, Chizuru no longer needed her.  She found friends and protectors within the Shinsengumi. Aimi refused their repeated invitations to join them for dinner. Each of them tried to coax her from her room. Even Souji hadn't teased her. She worried them, but she knew no other way to convince them to let her go.  
  
Kondou was her last visitor. He was the only one she allowed to enter. He attempted to pull her out of her funk. She'd told him it was her birthday over tea. She'd nearly forgotten. Three years ago she left the only home she'd known for Japan. Kondou cheerfully offered her anything in his power to grant. She asked him to let her leave.  
  
He'd grown quiet while she asked him to find her a place in Edo, far from Kyoto and their secrets. She was dying a little more each day she stayed confined, and begged him to let her go. She knelt and bent her back, touching her head to the floor. She pleaded and cried until he pulled her to her feet. He nodded solemnly, and agreed to look for somewhere when he visited Edo next. How could he refuse to honor her birthday request? He was too good of a man to deny her. His kindness filled her with guilt.  
  
Saito brought her dinner and also a wrapped package. Placing it beside her tray without an explanation. The genuine hurt in Kondou's eyes stole her appetite. She waited until Saito's footsteps retreated and placed the food outside her door untouched.  
  
_'It's time you put your skills to use.'_ She read the note out loud. It bore Hijikata's signature. She scoffed and crumpled the note. She tossed it on the desk. She stared at the folded linen, curious as to what was inside. Feeling it gave her no clues to the contents. It didn't matter, she wasn't staying. Kondou had promised. His honor held him to it as strongly as hers held her. If not for her promise, she would have slipped over the wall already.   
  
_'So you would run as well?'_ Her own thoughts tormented her. _'Yes,'_ she thought. ' _I'm running to protect my heart, to prevent falling to the same fate as my mother.'_

The last voice she wanted to hear interrupted her thoughts. "Aimi, it's Hijikata."  
  
She took a breath and swallowed, collecting herself. She held her tongue. She knew she was being stubborn, and even childish by refusing to invite him in.  
  
He slid back the door and entered with a steaming tray of food. "Saito says you returned your dinner uneaten."  
  
She glared at him for intruding without permission. But the scent of food made her salivate and her stomach chose that moment to betray her.  
  
"Come, sit and eat." He placed the tray on her desk and began arranging the dishes.  
  
She stayed where she sat, trying desperately to pretend he wasn't there. Damn her own heart for betraying her. She didn't want him, so why did it beat out a familiar rhythm when he walked through her door?  
  
Hijikata retrieved a second cushion and motioned for her to sit, taking the other. He gave her a smug smirk.  
  
Her palm itch to strike it from his face. She balled her hand into a fist and grit her teeth.  
  
"I'm not receiving guests." She hadn't invited him to stay. She stood her ground. She didn't want his company.  
  
He pretended not to hear her. "I see Saito delivered them." He pointed at the package.  
  
She didn't look at the package or him. "If it's a gift, I humbly refuse it."  
  
"Didn't you open it?" Hijikata teeth snapped together.  
  
"I didn't see a point. Why are you here?" She crossed her arms over her chest.  
  
"I returned just a few hours ago, Kondou informed us of your request at dinner." He gave her a grim expression.  
  
"I see. Then you're here to inform me my request has been denied." She lowered her eyes and bit her cheek. Her shoulders slummed. There was nothing more to say. Promise or no, she wouldn't stay here any longer. She only prayed her mother would understand why she couldn't uphold her honor with these men any longer. She'd done everything they asked of her without question. She didn't care about their secrets. She only stayed to ensure Chizuru was safe. Her protection was no longer needed. Chizuru could look after herself, and had made friends with some of the captains. The school girl crush she had on Hijikata was obviously unwelcome. She needed to forget about him, and the best way to do that was to leave.  
  
"It is still under consideration. Do you think Edo is where you belong?" He moved the cushion he sat on closer and faced her.  
  
"It doesn't much matter where I go. I thought of Edo because Kondou has connections there, and it's far enough from here that I'm not at risk of being tied to you. Neither of us would have to worry about what I do or don't know. Or do you still not trust me?"  
  
"You've given us no reason not to trust you. Are you so quick to leave us?"  
  
"I've no reason to stay. Chizuru is safe and has found a place among you. I believe you will watch over and protect her. She doesn't need me any longer. I'm grateful for your...protection." She forced the kinder word from her mouth. The taste of it bitter on her tongue. "I can't find my family from here."  
  
"You don't sound convinced."  
  
She snorted. "Do you read my mind then? Tell me, why should I stay? Do I have a choice or am I still a prisoner?" Anger crept into her voice. She stood and put distance between them. Hijikata's calm indifference infuriated her. She didn't know if she wanted to claw his eyes out or rip off his kimono and kiss him. The later thought shocked her and sent heat through her veins.  
  
"Because you don't wish to leave." He stood and placed his hands on his hips. His usual stance when he tried to intimidate one of his officers.  
  
Tears of frustration filled her eyes. She railed at him. "You've no right to keep me trapped here. Each day I worry I'll hear something that gives you a reason to order my death. Or spend it wondering..." Her voice cracked and she slashed at the tears on her cheeks. "I can't stay here. Please, let me go to Edo."  
  
"No." He moved with snake like speed, caching her around the waist and hauled her body against his.  
  
She balled her hands into fists and hit him on the chest. "Damn you, let me go."  
  
He caught her wrists, and pinned them together. "We've fought this long enough."  
  
"I..." She opened her mouth to protest.  
  
His lips hovered over hers. His eyes dark with desire. "Tell me I can kiss you."  
  
She nodded, her mouth slightly open, but the words caught in her throat.  
  
"I want to hear you say it." He released her wrists and caressed his thumb over her cheek, wiping the tears away. "Or am I mistaken again? Shall I send Sanosuke to you?" He smirked at her.  
  
"Oh, you're infuriating. Shut up and kiss me already."  
  
With a growl in his throat his lips claimed hers. His strong sinewy fingers tangled in her hair, and pulled her closer. His lips nipped at hers more gently than she expected. He was tight as a drum. His muscles bunched under her hands from restraint. He held himself back, only touching her tenderly. She relaxed against him. Knowing he tried not to scare her made her want him all the more. Aimi slid her hand behind his head, mimicking the way his fingers caressed her. Washed in a sea of sensation, she let the tide of passion carry her.  
  
When his tongue pressed against the seam of her mouth, she opened to him. His tongue thrust forward gently at first, testing and teasing. Each caress of his tongue tugged at something deep within her. She needed to be closer, needed more from him. She burned under his touch and marveled that she didn't come away scorched.  
  
His hand tightened in her hair, tilting her head to deepen their kiss. His other crushed her against his firm chest. She tried to make sense of what he did to her. None of the girls mentioned an all consuming heat that threatened to engulf them. His fingertips kneaded over her skin, creating a cacophony of sounds in her throat. He swallowed each noise she made before it could leave her. His chest rumbled with his own primal sounds.  
  
She drew breath in through her nose to sate the ache in her lungs. The expansion of her chest rubbed her sensitive breast against the hard marble of his chest. He tugged her lower lip between his and nibbled it before trailing kisses down her throat. Each new touch added to the building ache between her thighs. Each caress created a line of liquid heat to her core, like harp strings, and was he the master of the strings.  
  
He kissed her gently once more and pressed his forehead to hers. She drew in ragged breaths. Her mind and body protested the loss of his touch.  
  
"Aimi." Her name came out choked and broken and she marveled that he could speak at all if he felt as she did. He nuzzled her ear. His warm breath tickling the fine hair along her neck.  
  
She dropped her head to his shoulder and panted to catch her breath. As her thoughts gathered she grew nervous over what he made her feel.  
  
"Aimi-san, are you awake?" Harada's voice snapped her head up. "Kondou-san told us you want to leave."  
  
"Um..." Her mind scrambled for a reason to send him away.  
  
A rumble started in Hijikata's chest. "Go away." The angry growl sent a chill down her spine.  
  
"Yes, sir." Footsteps beat a hasty retreat from her door.  
  
Hijikata shook his head. "Well, there's no point in denying it now." He let out an audible breath and gave her a lopsided smile.  
  
She pressed a hand to her cheek, willing the blush to ease. She stared at the floor, unable to speak. Unsure of what would happen next.  
  
Hijikata pressed the package she ignored into her hands. "You should open it."  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Another option. As I see it, you have a few of them. I expect someone as clever as you, would wish to weigh each before making a decision."  
  
She knelt on a cushion with the package in her lap. Hesitantly, she turned it over and folded back the linen. A sharp gasp left her throat. Within she found an outfit suitable for any kunoichi, or female ninja. Her fingers caressed over the fabric as delicately as a feather. She barely believed they were real, at any moment they would disappear. Finally, she lifted the dark blue set and beneath was one more colorful. The rich purple fabric made the blue and pink flowers pop. The thin sash in gold was similarly decorated.  
  
"Oh no, this is too much. I can't accept this!"  
  
"It isn't a gift. It comes with a position. If you pass the test, that is."  
  
"What test?"  
  
He gave her a smug grin. "I thought these would get your attention. I hadn't counted on you being so stubborn. Figured you'd be barging into my office to ask me about them."  
  
She tugged her lower lip between her teeth. "I don't understand? After the incident with Saitani I..."  
  
Hijikata nodded. "He may believe he can charm information from you. If he does, are you willing to use that to our advantage?"  
  
She grew thoughtful. She'd not yet betrayed Saitani, she wasn't sure she could. No matter who he was to the Shinsengumi, he'd saved her. "I may not pass your test."  
  
His lip twitched. "I believe you will pass it easily. So do Souji, and Saito."  
  
"I don't know what to say?"  
  
Hijikata stood and held out a hand. "Come, lets get some air."  
  
She placed her hand in his and let him pull her to her feet. Her legs unsteady, she leaned on him. He led her to the garden and settled beside her on the bench overlooking the small pond. He held her around the waist.  
  
"I should have let you speak to Sanosuke. Though, I don't think he will tell anyone." Hijikata spoke softly against her ear.  
  
"I'm not ashamed." She stared into his eyes to assure him she spoke the truth.  
  
Hijikata took her chin and kissed her deeply. Pulling her body against his. "Move your things to my room." His words were barely audible.  
  
She leaned back unsure if she heard him. She saw the truth of it in his eyes. "What? No." She shook her head and tried to make space between them.  
  
He cocked an eyebrow. "No?" Irritation lent a bite to his question.  
  
"What will they think if I move into your room now?" She thought of the uniform she just opened.  
  
"It's going to cause trouble no matter when." His eyes searched her face, concern marred his perfect face.  
  
She bit her lip uncertain how to phrase her words to avoid offending him. "I will never betray you, or the Shinsengumi, but others may not believe that. I worry what they will think of you."  
  
"You protest for my sake?" Hijikata chuckled. "No one who knows me would think I was easily swayed by a pretty face."  
  
"Then think of me."  
  
"I am. How often do my captains visit your room late at night?" Hijikata's eyes flashed with a sharp emotion.  
  
"They don't. Harada-san came once during the day, the first week to bring my things from Shimabara. Recently, each of them tried to convince me to join them again for dinner. Souji, comes, I'm certain, only to torment me. Kondou-san visits weekly for tea. Saito-san and Inoue-san bring my meals. I assure you, everyone has behaved honorably."  
  
Hijikata relaxed. "Very well."  
  
"Is there really a place for me within the Shinsengumi?"  
  
He simply nodded. "You have a number of options to think about. I don't think you wish to leave, but if you do, Kondou-san and I will see you are provided for."  
  
He pulled her close and stared into her eyes. A smug smile turned the corners of his mouth. He bent to claim her lips once more. The fire from earlier had only dimmed, and her body quickly responded. His fingers teased her through her garments until she mewed and pleaded. When she tugged at his kimono he stopped and held her away. She clenched her fists and bit her cheek. How could he just leave her in this state again?  
  
"Take time to decide what you want. There is no going back once you do."  
  
Her mind scrambled to make sense of what he said. She let out a shaky breath. He was giving her time to choose. To choose what? Him or a position among them? Still caught up in the new sensations he'd shown her with just a kiss, she could only nod.  
  
"I wonder? How long will you make me wait?" His whispered words carried heat as they caressed along her ear.  
  
He left her alone in the garden with a parting kiss to her forehead.  
  
She found it hard to sleep that night. Her senses were on high alert. Between Hijikata and the possible test she couldn't relax.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of a part one with the next chapter. I had to split them in two because together it was far too long. I'm really excited for the next few chapters and how Aimi begins to find her place in this new home of hers. It's still going to have it's ups and downs along the way.
> 
> Also, these two have no clue what slow burn is! I keep trying to slow them down. I've been really fretting over how quickly their relationship is going. I guess six months isn't super fast, but compared to the canon events, it it. But then I thought, wait, Aimi isn't Chizuru. She hasn't been sheltered ever in her life. She's worked at Shimabara, and has seen and heard more than most girls do. She's already 21, and most everyone she knew her own age is already married. While marriage may not be the first thing on her mind, she doesn't deny that it's a nice dream for the future. 
> 
> According to Wikipedia Hijikata was engaged but never married. He also had numerous lovers while with the Shinsengumi. He refused to marry out of concern that his position would put his wife in danger. She could become a target of those wishing to coerce or hurt him. But Aimi isn't a typical girl. What if he had met someone like her? Would he have still stayed single? Anyway this is why he has continued to push her away. 
> 
> I always wanted Aimi to be a ninja, and after doing some research was pleased to see it wasn't unheard of back then. There was even a division of women who fought with Aizu during the rebellion. I really didn't want to have another helpless maiden who can't take care of herself. I get that Chizuru is a depiction of the typical young girl of her time (and frankly the manga genre where a girl is little more than a sporting cheerleader for the make leads). While I love her, having two girls like that didn't make for a very interesting story.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aimi must pass their test in order to join the Shinsengumi. Hijikata told her she had a number of options, but she is surprised to learn just what they are. Her unlikely ally has given her a far greater gift than she could ever imagine. She can't ever repay his kindness.

Aimi blinked into the darkness, something woke her. She scanned the room, her ears straining for any sound. Her senses were on alert. Something was wrong. She swallowed thickly and took a deep but silent breath. She closed her eyes and let her mind reach out. Her hand pressed against the floor. The board alongside her futon shifted under her palm. With one fluid movement she threw her blankets at the intruder, and rolled from her futon for her wakizashi.  
  
A soft chuckle eased some of the tension from her shoulders. "Saito-san warned me your senses were impressive."  
  
"Yamazaki." She let out the other half of breath and lowered her wakizashi.  
  
"Get dressed. You have an hour to find me." Her blankets fluttered to the floor and silence filled her room.  
  
She blinked into the night, barely catching sight of a silent shadow slipping through her window. Each night she expected them to test her. She'd spent the last week sleeping lightly in anticipation. Tonight she’d fallen into a deep sleep from exhaustion. She cursed under her breath and rushed to dress. She gathered her throwing stars and tied her wakizashi around her waist. Before ducking out the window she grabbed the fan Saitani gave her.    
  
She dropped silently to the ground and searched for any sign that would point her in the direction he fled. Using all of her senses she found a faint impression in the soft dirt and a bent leaf. She pinched her lips together. It wasn't much to go on. She crept slowly toward the wall at the back of the garden. She searched the sky to determine the hour. The moonless sky offered no light as she slipped soundlessly through the shadows. She smiled to herself. This was where she excelled in her training. Searching out her sensei night after night was part of her training. If she wished to learn anything new, she must first locate her teacher.  
  
At the storage building near the back wall, she found the short stack of crates. One of them was hastily stacked on another. The outline of its original location still heavily imprinted in the dirt.  
  
With cat like grace and speed, she scaled the crates and found purchase on the roof. She stayed low, blending her shadow with the dark roof. She crept silently to the back and scanned the wall and roof around her. In his haste, Yamazaki left a distinctive half print indicating he went over the wall.  
  
"So we are leaving the compound are we?"  
  
She crouched low and looked around. Aimi learned never to assume the direction of her quarry. Even the hare knew to double back to outsmart the fox. She had only an hour. A minor mistake could cause a timely delay. She steadied her beating heart and used her senses once more. Her teacher said her gifts were impressive, few possessed such skills naturally. Through her instruction, Aimi learned to hone her abilities. She smiled wryly; Aimi preferred the night. During the day there were too many sounds and intrusions on her senses. At night she wasn't so overwhelmed. She hadn't used them in the months she was a 'guest' other than to detect those nearby.  
  
Tonight, however, she would use them to the fullest. She touched the slate roof, feeling for subtle changes in temperature. She found a spot warmer than the rest. He had crouched here not long ago, far from the print left on the wall. She moved to the peak the roof, and dropped to her stomach, scanning the area. Her heightened eyesight had adjusted to the blackness around her. She caught a movement to her left. Under other circumstances his leap from one building to the next might have gone unnoticed.  
  
Yamazaki hadn't left the compound after all. He crept along the wall, and rooftops toward the front gate. Her heart beat out a steady rhythm as she warmed to the chase. She suppressed the urge to toy with him. In this game they played he was the one with inferior skill. Aimi jumped to the wall and raced soundlessly in the opposite direction. She would head him off. The trees along the garden cast deep shadows over the wall, hiding her from prying eyes. As she neared the front gate she slowed, scanning the buildings for her prey. She leapt into the nearest tree, barely catching the branch. She bit back a curse at the rustling leaves. She pressed herself against the trunk, listening for any reaction.  
  
A soft scuff of fabric reached her ears. Yamazaki had heard her. Aimi dropped to the branch below her, one that offered a wider path with less foliage to dodge and padded silently across it to the nearby building. She scanned the rooftop for Yamazaki, expecting to find him hiding near the last place she saw him. She bit her lip at finding it empty. Her clumsiness in the tree cost her a speedy victory.  
  
She was hidden within the leaves at the end of the branch. She took advantage of her position and scanned the area again. She nearly overlooked him. Had he not looked in her direction as he searched for her, she wouldn't have seen the light from a nearby lantern reflect in his eyes. He was skillfully hidden between a stack of crates and a large azalea in full bloom. His back to the wall of the compound.  
  
Aimi retreated to the other side of the tree and dropped onto the wall. She crept silently toward him. Aimi crouched to keep her shadow within those around him. She was just above his position. Taking one of the stars from her belt, she tossed it at a tree to the right of him. When he turned to the left she dropped down behind him. She rolled to protect her legs and came up with her wakizashi drawn. She struck at him with the back of her blade.  
  
"Damn it!" he cursed and rolled away. She pressed the attack. He swept out a leg but she leaped over it. His move threw him off balance and she kicked out, sending him staggering back to avoid contact. He his own wakizashi appeared in hand. He kicked at the ground and lunged at her. She deflected his swing, sliding her wakizashi around his and pushed it away.  
  
The clang of metal echoed through the night. Each of them used the back of their blades. This was a match to determine skill, not one intended to injure an opponent.  
  
Murmured voices warned her of an audience, but the two battled on. They were nearly evenly matched, and she found herself enjoying their fight as it stretched on. She grinned at him.  
  
"What's wrong? Can't hit a woman?" she taunted him.  
  
He hissed in response.  
  
Yamazaki grew tired. His strikes lacked their earlier fineness, and his feet were slower. Sweat beaded on his forehead, and a grim determination settled in his violet eyes. His eyes gave him away. He was preparing to end their mock battle.  
  
If she were to end this in her favor, she needed to act as well. He twisted on his foot. He kicked at the ground and leaped to the crates. She faked to the right. He leapt to the left, anticipating her direction. She anticipated his actions. Aimi dropped under his swing and swept out with a kick, catching him in the chest.  
  
The impact sent him stumbling back gasping for breath. She pushed her attack, stopping her blade at his throat. In her left hand she held the fan Saitani gifted her. Trapped within the folded fan was his sheathed tanto, inches from her stomach. The shock of defeat widened his eyes.  
  
The sound of clapping filled the air. Yamazaki stepped back and bowed deeply. His eyes bore into hers sharply. She bowed and gave him a bright smile.  
  
"Never underestimate a woman, especially one trained as we are."  
  
He nodded, and loosened the scarf around his mouth. He bowed again a small smile tugged up his lips. "You fought well."  
  
"Thank you, you were a worthy opponent."  
  
"Well done." Hijikata stepped forward. "Well, Sanan-san?"  
  
"You were right, Hijikata-kun. We would do well to use her talents."  
  
"And just how are my talents to be used?" There were things she wouldn't consider.  
  
"We currently have only two shinobi within the Shinsengumi. We would like you to join them," Kondou said.  
  
"Is this an official placement? Or is my involvement merely honorary?"  
  
"If you accept, you become a member of the Shinsengumi, with the rights and responsibilities of one of us. The Rules of Conduct will apply to you as they do the rest of us. Toshi, Saito and Yamazaki will see you are duly informed of what those are." Kondou beamed at her. "I believe it will be an advantageous partnership for us both."  
  
Aimi pursed her lips.  
  
"Be certain before you accept. A place among us is permanent. Defectors are made an example of." Hijikata added. "Exceptions to that rule are rare. Kondou and I accept that a few allowance should be made in your case."  
  
Souji stepped between her and Hijikata."I wasn't just pretending to adopt you. The paperwork is done now. If you wish to leave, Mitsu will take you in. You are, after all, now our sister." He gave her an obnoxious grin. "Of course, she will try to have you married off soon. If that's what you want, I'll take you to Edo myself. "  
  
"And how would that help me find my family?"  
  
Souji laughed. "Well, if you don't want to, that's fine. I figured a woman like you was tired of living with a bunch of men."  
  
Aimi slipped her arms around him and hugged him. He jumped with a startled gasp.  
  
Reluctantly he hugged her back and spoke softly in her ear. "You are now a member of a respected samurai family, you don't have to settle for some farmer's kid." He let her go and jerked his head in Hijikata's direction. He softened his words with a teasing smile. "But if you still want him, I'll make sure he takes care of you."  
  
Hijikata shook his head and grumbled under his breath. Did his cheeks darken, or was it a trick of the shadows?  
  
Aimi hit him on the shoulder. She didn’t believe a word he said. "Oh, you can't ever be serious can you?"  
  
Souji's expression straightened. "I am being serious."

Aimi tilted her head and studied him, but it was Kondou’s nod that convinced her Souji spoke the truth.  
  
"Who do I report to, directly?" Aimi asked Kondou.  
  
"Yamazaki. Though you'll have the same rank, he is your superior. Most of your orders will come through him. Other times they will come from Sanan, Toshi, or Saito. You will accompany either Yamazaki, or Shimada on assignments until we feel you are capable of working on your own." Kondou nodded towards the others. "Of course each captain outranks you, they may assign you to a task from time to time, as well."  
  
"It isn't an easy job, and we won't go easy on you just because you're a woman," Hijikata's tone was sharp and decisive. "Or because you’re Souji's sister. So don't think you can go whining to him when things get tough."  
  
"I don't expect special treatment. This is more than I imagined." She bowed to them. "I am grateful for the opportunity, and humbly accept your offer."  
  
Souji grinned at her. "They made it too easy for you."  
  
Yamazaki scowled at him.  
  
"Relax, I'm joking. I thought you had her at the end. Well done, little sister. I knew you wouldn't trade this for the safe life."  
  
"She has surpassed our expectation. I admit I was skeptical that a woman could defeat one so skilled." Sanan's eyes narrowed on Yamazaki.  
  
"I am curious as to where you learned some of your skills," Saito spoke quietly. "They are not of any discipline I am aware of."  
  
"You mustn't fault him, Sanan-san. I outlasted him, nothing more. I started dance lessons at four. By the age of ten I was training eight to ten hours a day. I dreamed of being becoming a well known dancer." She shrugged. "That dream shattered when I continued to grow taller than the rest of the girls. Someone at Shimabara noticed my grace and offered to test my aptitude for ninjutsu. I thought a kunoichi a more honorable occupation than courtesan. Under similar circumstances, Yamazaki would have the advantage. His skill with a blade surpasses my own."  
  
Yamazaki let out a strangled laugh. "A dancer? You never said you trained as a dancer."  
  
"You asked how long I trained with weapons. I did ask you to clarify which training you spoke of." Aimi shrugged her shoulders. "Assumptions lead to misinformation and confusion."  
  
Hijikata chuckled and shook his head.  
  
"Sanan-san, you're too hard on the boy. He's surpassed many who've trained longer than he has. There is no shame in his defeat tonight, he fought well. Each of us has lost a time or two along the way." Kondou smiled fondly at Yamazaki.  
  
"We can sort out her skills tomorrow. It’s late." Hijikata motioned in her direction. "Aimi, I will walk you to your room."  
  
"Oh, um. Sure. Good night." She bowed to the others and turned to walk with Hijikata.  
  
"The clothes are suitable, then?" He waved a hand at her.  
  
"Yes, they fit well and I didn't need to alter them."  
  
The tighter fitting clothing made it easier to move and hide in. She wouldn't need to worry about getting caught in the flowing fabric the rest of them wore. Her cheeks warmed as his eyes roved over her curves.    
  
They came to her door too soon for her taste. "Er, goodnight, commander."  
  
"Save the title for around the soldiers. We've assigned you to the 3rd Division under Saito. I trust him to show you less favoritism than the others."  
  
Aimi stood there a moment. "Thank you, again." She slid open her door. She hesitated, unsure if she should invite him in or not. Paperwork kept him busy since his return from Osaka and she'd seen little of him in the last week. She wanted him to kiss her again. Would he stop her if she were to kiss him? "Um..."  
  
Hijikata gripped her waist and pushed her into the room. He slid her door shut with a crack. She had no time to react as he pushed her back against the wall. Her hands slipped around his neck and his mouth covered hers. She sighed into his mouth. His kiss was harder than the one before. His tongue demanded entrance and stole her breath. His teeth were sharper, biting into her lip and throat as his hips held her in place. She burned everywhere he touched. From each point of contact heat spread to her core. She was quickly swept away.  
  
He broke away, staring into her eyes. "Watching you tonight..." He took a deep breath and stepped back. "My apologies. I didn't mean to frighten you."  
  
Aimi touched her lips. They still felt the heat of his. Her heart raced in her chest. "You didn't. I was startled, but never afraid."  
  
He caressed her cheek. She met his eyes and leaned into his palm. "If I stay too long, Souji will come to investigate. Tomorrow will be a long day, you should rest."  
  
She didn't expect to sleep at all, but as soon as her head touched the pillow she dreamed of the hard man who made her burn.

* * *

  
The rest of the Shinsengumi officers met her introduction with mix emotions. Hijikata and Souji stood on either side of her. Kondou and Saito stood on either side of them. Yamazaki stood nearby to the left.  
  
Every officer of the Shinsengumi lined the small courtyard of the compound. Aimi's hands grew clammy under their scrutiny. She held her chin high and met each gaze firmly. Harada and Inoue gave her warm smiles. Heisuke grinned widely. Nagakura, usually more affable, wore a serious expression. There were also unfamiliar faces in the crowd. She didn't know each of the captains, other than their names. Takeda, Tani, and Matsubara, wore angry scowls. She understood their concern.  
  
To them, she was an unknown, and had found placement due to familial ties. It would take time to demonstrate her skill. Some may never come to accept her due to simply being a woman. The leer she received from Takeda made her skin crawl. She'd heard of his encounter with Chizuru. Hijikata warned her that Takeda didn't know the truth of her and Chizuru's induction into the Shinsengumi. He would be a man to avoid whenever possible.  
  
"Each man, and woman, here is bound by the Rules of Conduct. I shouldn't have to remind you the consequences of breaking them." Hijikata leveled a steeled gaze at each man. "Okita Aimi-san has proven her skill more than sufficient for the position."  
  
"And just what skill is that? If I may ask?" Takeda sneered at her. "Are her sword polishing skills so impressive then?"  
  
A murmur of nervous laughter rose among those newly informed. The other captains glared at each man who chortled.  
  
Souji growled in his throat and gripped his sword. Saito touched his arm and gave him a stern look. Aimi held her breath, and resisted the urge to touch Hijikata's arm. They discussed this possibility. If she went to sooth his ire, it would only confirm their suspicions.  
  
Hijikata swept an arm toward Saito. "We anticipated your doubt."  
  
Saito stepped forward, his hands resting on his blades. The small crowd grew silent, not even a cricket chirruped in the yard.  
  
"The Okita family is a respected samurai family. All here know the high standards each one holds themselves to." He glared at Takeda until he straightened and stopped the leer he leveled at Aimi. "Okita Aimi is a student of ninjutsu. She is capable of blending into the shadows, and tracking even someone of exceptional skill. In less than an hour, she tracked and defeated Yamazaki in a skillful and decisive display of her abilities."  
  
Eyes darted to Yamazaki and then to Aimi. He didn't waiver as he started out at them, but clenched his hands into fists behind his back. She felt bad for beating him.  
  
Kondou and Souji stepped forward to join Saito. They stared out at those in attendance, their hands behind their backs. Chizuru stepped out of a nearby doorway, and walked to them. She carried the dark blue uniform of the Watch. Resting on top were Aimi's katana and wakizashi.  
  
Aimi's eyes flicked to her katana. Hijikata had confiscated it the first night, refusing to return a samurai's weapon to a woman. He'd allowed her only her throwing knives and stars, and her wakizashi.  
  
Souji lifted her katana. Saito reached for her headgear, and Kondou took the uniform. Saito nodded and Aimi stepped out to face them. The hair on the back of her neck stood as the others looked on. She focused on Souji's teasing smile.  
  
"It's a tradition that a samurai is given their first sword when they come of age. You have shown yourself worthy. Carry it with honor." Souji held her sword out.  
  
Aimi's heart pounded in her chest. She found herself speechless. She thought she'd have to spar with one of them to show what she was capable of. She hadn't anticipated Saito and Souji vouching for her. His words humbled her. The silence stretched on. Encouraged by the soft smile Koundo gave her Aimi reached for her sword. She bowed low.  
  
Saito held out her headgear. "When a samurai comes of age, they also receive their headgear. It symbolizes their transition to adulthood." He unfurled the ties and stepped closer. Aimi bent her head to make it easier for him to tie it in place.  
  
Koundou smiled affectionately. "When Souji brought you here, I wanted to send you back to Edo." He turned to the captains. "Generations ago, our women fought bravely alongside men. There was little distinction between them. A samurai was a samurai. Fewer woman take up the sword each year. It is rare, but not unheard of. Even the shogunate is not opposed to their inclusion. Okita Aimi is a samurai of immeasurable skill and I am honored to offer her a place among us."  
  
Kondou held out her uniform.  
  
"I humbly accept, Chief Kondou-san. May my deeds bring honor to Japan, the shogun, and the Shinsengumi."  
  
Murmurs rose in the crowd. Their tone were those of curiosity and wonder rather than disdain and disbelief. Takeda glared at her, but stayed silent. She would need to be on her guard around him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I first thought about her joining the Shinsengumi, I had this little ceremony in mind. Then I thought, I'd best make sure it's even a thing before I write it. I was pleasantly surprised that there was a coming of age ceremony of sorts during this age. A samurai was given their weapon, headgear and armor signifying they were an adult and able to fight to defend their family, lord and country. The specific details of the ceremony itself are probably nothing like what I wrote, I wasn't able to find more than a general description so please don't take this as a factual depiction. It's all a fictional retelling loosely based on ancient ceremonies and events. Also, only samurai were allowed to carry a katana. I always wondered why Yamazaki only carried one sword while the others carried a set, and this is why. He wasn't from a samurai family and not privileged enough to carry a katana.
> 
> Also there were in fact women samurai, though they were rare by the Edo Period. Most of the prominent women samurai I read about used a bladed staff rather than a sword, but I didn't want to redesign Aimi's backstory and preferred weapons.
> 
> As for Souji adopting her as his sister, there is plenty historical references where more prominent families adopted those from lesser families. Kondou's instructor adopted him and made him his heir, an head of the dojo they trained in. Mitsu's husband was adopted into the Okita family before they married. Kondou adopted her in name only, so the two could marry. I found it all very interesting and had to throw that in. Aimi now has a family, something she's always wanted, and lots of choices. I loved Souji arc. His life lacked those same choices hers has. He's also a softy underneath all that sass <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aimi's first day is spent gathering intel. But mostly just sitting and waiting. She isn't one to play the damsel in distress, and her boldness may get her into more trouble than she bargained for.

After her introduction, Aimi was immediately given her first assignment. Hijikata sent her with Yamazuki to gather intel in the market. She dressed in a simple kimono, hiding her weapons within the folds of her garment. The two of them strolled through the market buying food and various supplies, while listening to the conversations of those around them. People on the streets smiled at the young couple as they strolled and whispered endearingly to each other.  
  
"Aimi-san, the men over there..." Yamazaki faced her, his back to three ronin strolling boldly down the street. She looked into his eyes, noticing for the first time they were the same height. He smiled at her affectionately while he listed his suspicions.  
  
She smiled sweetly at him, and laughed at his genuine blush. "They stepped into a shop. The last man cast a thorough look before entering." She scanned the street. "There's an open window, I think I can listen without notice."  
  
"I will stay nearby and pretend to shop." He nodded and ambled toward a shop on the other side.  
  
Aimi strolled to the shop front, and pretended to search her bag. Voices carried from the open window behind her. The shop owner was concerned about the increased presence of the Shinsengumi. They investigated shops randomly, and increased their patrols at night. He demanded they move their stores elsewhere. Aimi let some of her items fall in the dirt below the window and knelt to retrieve them. She listened discretely as they discussed when they would move their merchandise and possible locations they could utilize.  
  
"Here, allow me to help you." Yamazaki knelt beside her.  
  
"I'm so clumsy today, what would I do without you?" She leaned in and whispered what she learned.  
  
"There is a tea-house nearby, we should stop there before we head home. You've been out in the sun too long." He took her arm and led her down the street. When they were out of earshot of the shop he spoke. "The Commander's rounds will take him near the tea-house. I will relay your information."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"No, thank you. We have watched this shop for a while but had little reason to formally investigate. They are very careful."  
  
"I meant, thank you for trusting me."  
  
His eyes widened a moment. He gave her a wry smile. "You could have killed me easily last night."  
  
"You watched over me after my injury. Would be a shame to harm the Shinsengumi's medic." She gave him a cheeky grin.  
  
"I see." His eyes sparkled with humor. "I look forward to training with you."  
  
They met Hijikata just outside the tea-house. Yamazaki leaned close and relayed the information they learned. Hijikata stared at the ground, his brow furrowed in thought.  
  
"Aimi, go inside and have tea. We have reason to believe Kodo-san was seen in the area. While you're here you may as well ask about him. Don't take any risks, if you hear of something wait for one of us to return."  
  
"I understand."

* * *

  
Aimi settled into a place near the back after exchanging pleasantries with some of the patrons. No one she spoke to recalled seeing a man fitting Kodo's description recently.  
  
She watched the flakes of tea leaves sink in her cup. It had grown cold some time ago. She was about to wave the shopkeeper over to request fresh tea when a harsh voice boomed from the doorway.  
  
"All right. The Shinsengumi is here to conduct a search! Everyone remain calm. Who owns this place?"  
  
Aimi grimaced as Takeda the captain of the 5th Division strode through the entrance.  
  
The owner rushed forward. He politely introduced himself and asked Takeda his business. Takeda gruffly accused him of allowing Imperial extremists to conduct business within his shop. When the man countered, Takeda became more harsh with his line of questioning.  
  
The owner vehemently denied his accusations. Takeda took offense and accused the man of calling him a liar. Aimi ducked behind the divider when he scanned the room in her direction. She bit the inside of her cheek. She hated hiding, but Hijikata told her not to be reckless. So far Takeda did nothing but question the man harshly.  
  
When he threatened to arrest the shop owner for refusing to pay a bribe, Aimi reached for her hidden wakizashi, but balled her hand in a fist instead.  
  
"Putain de trou du cul!" She muttered under her breath. She couldn't pull her sword on a superior officer, but she still could intervene. If Takeda knew she witnessed his actions, he might back down. She started to stand when warm hands touched her shoulders.  
  
"Shh, don't. A lady shouldn't get involved in such a dangerous situation. This man won't hesitate to hurt you." A soft warm voice caressed her ear and neck.  
  
Aimi started to tell him this was Shinsengumi business, but his gentle smile silenced her. She sucked in a breath at the handsome man kneeling beside her. His perfectly sculpted face held a graceful beauty she thought only Hijikata possessed. She stared, unable to look away.  
  
"Don't worry. Just leave this to me." He gave her a warm smile.  
  
She sat mesmerized as he boldly approached Takeda and politely asked him if he could be of assistance. Aimi pressed a fist to her throat with worry for the elegant stranger. She shook off her stupor and studied the man. He carried himself proudly, and his clothing was of a far superior quality than any she had seen among the men of the Shinsengumi. He was young, but even the captains of the Shinsengumi his age had trained for many years. If his clothes were a true indication of his lineage, he was likely from a prominent samurai family and had trained with a sword from an early age. He had the look of an actor, but she saw the extent of his training in each of his careful and calculated moves.  
  
He spoke quietly and confidently. His gaze never wavered as he stood with a cool and relaxed attitude.  
  
Takeda sneered at him and accused him of being an Imperial Extremist. Aimi knew she needed to interfere. Takeda was the type to hold a grudge. If this young man challenged him, Takeda would try to kill him.  
  
Aimi took a deep breath and stood. "Captain Takeda, forgive me for interrupting. I wasn't aware you were patrolling this street today."  
  
The young man drew in a sharp breath. His eyes grew wide with confusion.  
  
"Okita-san. I didn't see you there."  
  
The young samurai's eyes narrowed on her. She gave him an apologetic smile.  
  
She shrugged off Takeda's refusal to use her rank. Now wasn't the time to correct a superior. "No, I suppose you didn't. I must admit I was surprised when you walked in, but didn't want to interrupt your official business." She place a subtle emphasis on the word official. "I thought you would be accompanying Commander Hijikata on his important task." She tilted her head to the side and gave him a quizzical look.  
  
"What important task? I wasn't informed of anything." Takeda straightened at hearing the Commander had a pressing matter.  
  
Aimi pretended confusion. "Oh, that can't be right. When Commander Hijikata came for Yamazaki, he sent him to headquarters to inform the captains. I'm sure he mentioned you specifically." She smiled brightly. "Yamazaki must have just missed you, since you were already on patrol. Which, of course you would be. You take your role with the Shinsengumi very seriously. Few have your level of dedication."  
  
Takeda puffed at her flattery. He gave her a smug smile and nodded. "Do you know where they are?"  
  
Aimi nodded and drew closer. She smiled at the young man, but turned a sultry smile toward Takeda. "I do. Should I tell you where they are, or is the matter here of greater importance?"  
  
Takeda's eyes darkened, they burned with a familiar emotion. Men were so easily distracted.  
  
He looked around, glancing briefly at the young samurai. "No, it seems the information I received was incorrect. Tell me where they went."  
  
Aimi leaned closer and stood on her tiptoes. Her hand rested on his chest. His heart thudded under her palm. She whispered the directions in his ear. She watched the young samurai. His eyes widened, but an expression of understanding settled in his eyes.  
  
"I look forward to working more closely with you." Takeda touched her chin. His voice was low, a leer stretched his mouth. She swallowed to stop the bile rising in her throat as Takeda's sour breath washed over her face.  
  
"I'm sure our paths will cross again." She gave him a warm smile.  
  
He nodded and turned for the door. He stopped at the entrance. "If you've lied to me, not even Hijikata-san can save you."  
  
Aimi held her smile until he disappeared from her sight. She cupped her hand over her mouth and gripped her stomach. She doubled over and blinked her eyes to force the gag and the tears back.  
  
Gentle yet strong hands held her steady. "Are you all right?"  
  
She leaned into his comforting arms. "Yes, it will pass in a moment." She grimaced that anyone saw her like this. This was why she'd wished to leave Shimabara. She couldn't stop her revulsion toward many of their patrons, having to politely excuse herself to avoid offending anyone. Sooner or later, she knew she wouldn't escape in time. "I was so sure he would see through me," she whispered.  
  
"Is there an important matter or did you lie to him?" He held her against his side, and a warm hand pressed against her lower back.  
  
"There was, but he'll likely arrive late. Commander Hijikata left about an hour ago." She looked up into eyes as deep and vast as the sea. She read only concern in them as he comforted her.  
  
"And when he believes you've lied to him, then what?" His brows pinched together with worry.  
  
"I'm sure it won't come to that." She doubted Hijikata would let it look as if she lied to him.  
  
"He called you Okita. The only officer by the name of Okita in the Shinsengumi is Okita Souji, and you aren't him."  
  
She'd composed herself and stepped back, bowing to him. "I'm Souji's little sister, Okita Aimi."  
  
He narrowed his eyes, but before he could speak the shop owner rushed forward to thank her. He ushered them both to her table where fresh snacks and a tray of sweet bean jelly were laid out. Along with a pot of fresh tea.  
  
"You saved me. Thank you so much." The owner bowed low over her hand.  
  
"No, please it was nothing. I simply helped clear up a misunderstanding." Aimi tried to put the man at ease.  
  
The shopkeeper bowed again, thanking her over again. He thanked the young man as well, for he was the first one to come to his rescue. Aimi was thankful the shop wasn't very busy. The few customers that were present before, fled soon after Takeda left.  
  
She waved at her table. "Would you care to join me? It would be a shame for his kind gesture to go unappreciated, and I believe you have some questions."  
  
He nodded and sat. She poured his tea and waited for him to speak. "Souji doesn't have a younger sister."  
  
Aimi bit the inside of her cheek. "I'm a half sister." She offered the lie Souji concocted. "We've only recently reunited."  
  
"I confess I'm quite confused. How is it that a woman has a place in the Shinsengumi?"  
  
She gave him a wide smile. "Today was my first day, actually. I was really worried when you approached Takeda-san. He's got a mean streak and is prone to picking fights. He's quite charming when it suits him, but unless Kondou-san or Hijikata-san are around, he's just a bully."  
  
He shrugged. "There are many like him, I'm afraid. His behavior doesn't help the Shinsengumi."  
  
"Which is why I was going to approach him. Men like Takeda require fineness. A cornered rat will bite the cat. He seeks fame and prestige. If he believes I can help him with that, I'll be safe. Men like him are easily manipulated."  
  
"No, not easily. Men like him lack honor in all things, he will one day demand a price you aren't willing to pay. He won't accept your refusal. Do not let yourself alone with him." His serious tone and expression sent a chill down her spine.  
  
"I'll be careful. I've no intention of being alone with him if I can help it." Aimi nodded and gave him a grim smile.  
  
"I apologize for troubling you today. If I hadn't interfered you might not have had to use such tactics.  
  
"Oh, you haven't caused me trouble." She smiled sweetly over her tea cup. "So, how do you know Souji?"  
  
He warmed to the conversation, and spoke of their days in Edo, how they sparred together. His eyes lit up with joy at the fond memories. He especially seemed fond of Hijikata. His eyes were brighter, his smile warmer, when he spoke of him, and he called him Toshi. Few held the privilege of using Hijikata's given name.  
  
"I admit I'm surprised, still. It's no easy task to impress the men of the Shinsengumi."  
  
"You will have to ask them. I was surprised as well."  
  
He smiled warmly at her. "I see, a modest woman of many talents and secrets. You weren't raised in Japan, where you?"  
  
"You're very observant." She didn't offer any further information.  
  
"You spoke something just before I stopped you. It's not a language I've heard before. Also, few girls your age act with such confidence."  
  
"Oh, well, it wasn't a very flattering term, and not one I'll translate." She rushed out. Her cheeks warmed. "I find French especially helpful for swearing."  
  
"I think I can guess at what you said." He chuckled and let the matter drop. "I suppose that explains why I wasn't aware Okita had a younger sister." He peered quizzically at her.    
  
Aimi nodded, she wanted him to assume the details for himself. She batted her lashes at him. His cheeks turned rosy when she looked up at him through lowered lids. She sliced the sweet bean jelly and offered to share.  
  
"I shouldn't, but I love sweets. Thank you." His genuine excitement over the tray of treats put her at ease.  
  
Aimi couldn't help but smile at his sincere happiness over so simple a thing. Clearly he was a man of means. His clothing and katana were of the highest quality. His manners and character bespoke of his noble upbringing. Japan or Europe, the refined manners of the nobility were the same. Those same qualities were trained into her and each girl in the school. Not one man in the Shinsengumi compared to his level of refinement.  
  
She'd distracted him from his questions, but still he studied her face as if searching for something. Aimi wondered his thoughts as he contemplated her. After a few moments he smiled.  
  
"I've taken up too much of your time, and have another matter to attend to. I should be going."  
  
"Thank you." She bowed her head. "It's been a while since I've enjoy tea with such charming company."  
  
"No, it's I who should thank you. I am glad to have met you, Aimi." He gave her a warm smile, his eyes twinkling.  
  
She couldn't find it in her to correct him for using her given name. She liked the way it sounded on his tongue.  
  
Aimi watched him pay his bill and head for the door. As he ducked outside she realized she'd not caught his name.  
  
"Wait!" She rushed after him hoping to catch him.  
  
She was too late. He'd already disappeared into the crowd. Maybe she could still catch him? She hesitated. She'd been given orders to stay put. With a sigh she returned to her table. She'd flirted to distract him, just as she had Takeda.

Someday her boldness would get her into trouble. She snorted to herself. Her boldness caused her far more trouble than she would ever admit to anyone but herself. Let them think she had all the answers, even though she was going through most of this blindly. She blew out a breath. Hijikata and Saito had faith in her abilities, she needed to trust they would keep her from acting too recklessly. She bit the inside of her cheek. Wasn't she beyond the need of a guiding hand? All her life someone watched over her, limited her freedoms.  
  
She drummed her fingers on the table and looked out the window at the shadows on the ground. How much longer would she have to sit here? Nearly two hours passed since Hijikata told her to wait. Had something gone wrong with the raid? She busied herself with asking the new round of customers if they had seen a man matching Kodo's description. Again, no one knew anything. She returned to her table and stared forlornly into her cup. The excitement of the day was gone, and her nerves were frayed and thin. She longed for the quiet comfort of the compound's garden.  
  
"May I sit with you? The shop is rather crowded today?" A soft feminine voice spoke, breaking into her thoughts. She looked to be around Chizuru's age. She had a kind smile and a gentleness to her eyes. There was more to it, that Aimi couldn't quite put a name to. She simply sensed this girl was someone she could trust.  
  
"Um, yes, of course." Aimi waved to the cushion beside her. "Sit wherever you like."  
  
"Thank you. This place is always busy if you get here too late, but it's my favorite in this part of town."  
  
"The tea is very good, and the owner is so kind, I can see why."  
  
"I'm Sen. Might I ask your name?" Sen tipped her head, giving her a curious expression.  
  
"Aimi. It's a pleasure to meet you, Sen-san."  
  
"Oh no, please, just call me Sen. You are few years older than I am, I think."  
  
"If you're certain?" Aimi smiled at her.  
  
Sen nodded. "I couldn't help but notice you sitting here alone. I thought I would offer my company."  
  
"Oh, well, I'm waiting on someone, but they seem to be running late."  
  
"Are they often late?" Sen seemed upset.  
  
"No, no, they are very punctual. There was an urgent matter to attend, he wasn't able to stay."  
  
"Oh, I see." Sen smiled at her.  
  
The owner came by with fresh tea and sweets. Sen chatted easily about her favorite places to shop. Stands that carried the best produce, and dining houses she must try. Aimi appreciated that she controlled the conversation so well, when she herself knew very little about Kyoto.  
  
"Your accent is hard to place, where are you from?"  
  
"Oh, um, well... I wasn't raised in Japan." Aimi lowered her voice. "I only returned a few years ago."  
  
"Oh! Then I must show you around some time!" There was a moment of surprise in her eyes before her genuine smile warmed her face once more. Sen took her news in stride. "You have such pretty eyes. They are quite striking."  
  
Aimi's cheeks grew warm. "A gift from my mother, her eyes were the same."  
  
"Were? Oh I'm very sorry."  
  
Aimi shook her head. "Don't be, she passed when I was ten. I still carry her memories with me."  
  
"She still watches over you, and always will as long as you do."  
  
Aimi smiled. "She said the same before her passing."  
  
"What of your father? Do you live with him?"  
  
"I...No, I don't." Aimi bit the inside of her cheek. She had let her guard down with Sen and volunteered information she usually held close. But her gut told her Sen was a friend, that she could trust her with any of her secrets. "I never knew my father. She never spoke of him or her family. I only know she was from the west and he might have been from somewhere near Kyoto."  
  
"My, what an adventure coming to Kyoto must have been! And you have a safe place to stay? If you need anything, please I would like to help."  
  
"Oh, no thank you, I'm doing well."  
  
They discussed plans to meet again in the future. Sen was a regular patron of the tea shop, and invited Aimi to join her whenever she wished. Aimi missed moments like these. Since coming to Japan her freedoms had been limited. Kyoto wasn't a safe place for a young woman alone. Even before, she'd found few close friends at school. Most of the girls shunned her after learning she was an orphan. Only those in similar situations treated her with genuine kindness. Most of those girls had a relative to care for them. While they spent holidays with family, Aimi stayed at school. She immersed herself in any subject they allowed her to study. As such, her education was far superior to the girls she went to school with. She hadn't found it lacking until she came to Japan. She knew little of her home land and culture when she arrived. She welcomed Sen's easy chatter, it was nice to talk with someone her age.  
  
"Aimi, I hope I've not kept you waiting?" Hijikata walked toward their table.  
  
"Hijikata-san, this is Sen. Sen please let me introduce to you Hijikata Toshizo the Vice Commander of the Shinsengumi."  
  
"Hijikata-san? The Demon Commander?" Sen's eyes rounded as she stared between them.  
  
Hijikata sighed and shook his head. "Soldiers require firm leadership. Our rules must be upheld to keep order. If that makes me a demon..." He shrugged his shoulders.  
  
Sen nodded at Aimi. "I see. If you need any assistance, please leave me a message here. I would like us to be friends."  
  
"Thank you Sen, I look forward to it."  
  
"I've paid your bill, Aimi. Sen-san, thank you for keeping her company." Hijikata bowed to Sen.  
  
He waited until they reached the edge of town before speaking.  
  
"What did you learn?"  
  
"Nothing on Kodo, no one seemed to recall him. Maybe Chizuru would have had better luck."  
  
"Don't worry much over it. People in Kyoto are reluctant to talk. What about the girl?"  
  
"Sen? Well, I...hmm...I don't know much about her other than her favorite places to shop."  
  
"You need to be on your guard with strangers, you should know that."  
  
"I do, and I also trust my instincts. They've never failed me. Sen is trustworthy."  
  
"You trusted this Saitani fellow, would you consider him trustworthy?"  
  
"When I met him I didn't have any secrets to hide. I was more concerned with staying alive. I knew when he wasn't totally upfront with me." She shrugged. "I didn't have much of a choice and he did help me. How did the raid go?"  
  
"It went well, thanks to you. We found a weapons cache and arrested three ronin and the shop owner. Not certain who they are affiliated with yet. But we will learn that soon. Takeda and Souji are interrogating them."  
  
Aimi bit her cheek, unsure how to approach the incident with Takeda. If he trusted Takeda enough to allow him to interrogate suspects, had she misjudged Takeda? No, she didn't think she had. Her gut instincts told her Takeda wasn't her ally. Hijikata stopped and lifted her chin.  
  
"What troubles you?"  
  
"There was an incident..." She explained what happened as they walked.    
  
"Takeda did what?" He seethed, and spoke through gritted teeth. "Say nothing of this to anyone. And I mean no one. Not even one of the captains within our confidence."  
  
"I understand."  
  
"That explains why he showed up. Takeda demanded to know why Yamazaki hadn't informed him of the raid. Yamazaki was quick to tell him he'd been unable to catch up to him. He'd already left on patrol."  
  
"That was the excuse I gave him. A miscommunication, nothing more."  
  
"You took a great risk today. You need to be on your guard with him in the future." He sighed. "Now what about this samurai, what was his name?"  
  
"Er... well you see. I'm afraid I forgot to ask him. I was more concerned with redirecting him from asking too many questions about me and the Shinsengumi." She felt her cheeks warm. "He left in a hurry, claiming to have an appointment." She didn't tell him they sat together and had tea. "He was very polite and refined."  
  
Hijikata raised an eyebrow. "You flustered? I'm surprised. Still, if you see him again be sure to get his name. I'm curious who from Edo you ran into today." Hijikata grew quiet. "You said he was very refined?"  
  
Aimi nodded. "He spoke of you like the two of you were old friends."  
  
"I have an idea who you met." Hijikata smiled. "I didn't know he was in Kyoto, if it's who I think it is, he'll stop by."  
  
They reached the entrance and he sent her off. He was going to see how the interrogation was going.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I've just about introduced all the main players except for our three Oni. They will be making their grand entrance in upcoming chapters. Both Takeda and the young samurai who appear in this chapter are (I believe anyway) new characters with the PC rewrite that was released last year and this spring. I did recently pick up the mobile phone version through the apple store, and neither of them are in it. But I haven't yet finished a full play through on the mobile app yet. I have a soft spot for the soft spoken, but passionate samurai they added. I think his story arch was one of my favorites. Aside from how they meet, most of their interactions will not follow canon much at all, but he will be a major LI from now on. I do plan on using the more interesting parts of his story arc and will say that it's a good thing he and Hijikata are such good friends. I'm going to be testing that friendship's boundaries until the very end!
> 
> Anyway, I hope I haven't lost any of you who started this for a solely Hijikata/OC pairing. I haven't forgotten my promises...Hijikata isn't going anywhere.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Shinsengumi learn the Choshu intend to move on the city of Kyoto, and the Emperor. They decide to split their forces in hopes of containing the enemy before it's too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters 9 and 10 are essentially one chapter, but together it's over 8000 words long so I've cut it as close to the halfway point as I could to make it easier for those who prefer shorter chapters or read on mobile units. I will have Chapter 10 up soon for those who would prefer to read it all at once.

July 1864  
  
(Aimi)  
  
With the Gion Festival coming up, Kyoto was livelier than ever. Since her induction into the Watch, Aimi spent a few nights a week on patrol. She also wandered through Kyoto during the day with Yamazaki. The previous raid pointed to the shopkeeper Masu Kiemon. His real name was Furutaka Shutaro, a Choshu spy. They'd watched Masu's shop every night for the past week hoping to turn up more information on the Choshu movements in Kyoto. Their investigation was stalled and Yamazaki sent her back to the compound. She'd planned to spend the evening sleeping. But raised voices kept her awake.  
  
Sanan spoke harshly to someone. Aimi peered into the room to see what was going on. Souji and Chizuru knelt in front of Sanan. Aimi fought the desire to protect Chizuru from Sanan's wrath. A small part of her even felt sorry for Souji. The old Sanan would never have spoken so harshly. The injury to his arm, left his hand crippled. His spirits suffered greatly from the lack of use.  
  
"It's not like I had a choice, and I arrested some Choshu ronin." Okita shrugged and twisted his mouth in a half smile. His eyes were downcast. Aimi wondered if he felt that was an apology? Sanan didn't think so.  
  
"You owe Yamazaki, Shimada and Aimi an apology, they've been staking out Masu's for a week," Heisuke said.  
  
"It's alright, he did us a favor. Nothing of interest has happened. We were getting nowhere." Shimada said.  
  
Yamazaki nodded in agreement. "Perhaps we will learn something now that we have men to interrogate."  
  
Aimi returned to the compound just as Souji and Chizuru left for patrol. The lead that Masu was meeting with Choshu agents the night before hadn't panned out. They watched his shop until dawn and continued to stake it out until noon.  
  
Aimi sensed the approach of Hijikata. "Masu's a crafty one. We'd decided to try turning up the charm." She tossed Yamazaki a teasing grin.  
  
"No we didn't. You wanted to try that, I disagreed on the effectiveness." Yamazaki scowled at her.  
  
"I thought I was to use my skills to help the Shinsengumi? A woman has many weapons against a man."  
  
"I forbid you from using such tactics." Yamazaki crossed his arms over his chest and glared.  
  
"I forbid it as well." Hijikata entered the room a grim frown on his face. "It's too great a risk."  
  
"Get anything from the prisoners?" Nagakura asked.  
  
"They planned to wait for the wind to pick up and set fire to Kyoto. Then kidnap the Emperor while everyone was losing their shit. Or so they say at least."  
  
"Burn down the city? Those Choshu guys are crazier than I thought." Nagakura shook his head.  
  
"Wait, that doesn't make sense," Aimi said.  
  
"Doesn't kidnapping the Emperor seem kind of contradictory to a bunch of guys who claim to be Imperialists?" Heisuke asked.  
  
"Whatever their reason," Saito began, "we can't ignore them."  
  
"They're probably meeting tonight. We need to be ready to move," Hijikata said.  
  
"All right! Finally. I'm getting chills!" Nagakura rolled his shoulders and neck creating a number of pops and cracks as he loosened up.  
  
An excited energy, with an undercurrent of something grim, filled the room. They discussed the validity of the information. Debating whether to send a message to Aizu and the Judiciary Commissioner. Hijikata also told them that Kodo was also seen with someone from the west. His eyes zeroed in on Aimi. She was unable to read his expression. Did he think she was somehow involved with the current events? Yes, her mother told her she was from western Japan, but Aimi had never met any of her family.  
  
"My father with someone from the west? I don't understand?" Chizuru asked. "How could my father be with someone from the west?"  
  
Hijikata and Sanan shook their heads. No one had an explanation for her.  
  
"I can take a message to the Aizu and Judiciary Commissioner. With everyone ill, you don't have enough men to spare."  
  
"Yamazaki will deliver the message." Sanan held up his hand stopping her protest. "They don't know of your involvement. It would be wise to keep it that way. We anticipate them insisting on using your services themselves."  
  
Hijikata turned to Aimi. "You should return to your room to rest. You were out all night." The look he leveled her was the one he used to end all protests from subordinates.  
  
She was dead on her feet, but so was Yamazaki. The two of them hadn't slept more than a couple of hours in the last two days. She'd be no use to them if she didn't rest. For now, she would accept his order without argument. She gave him a shallow bow and turned on her heel. She stopped outside the door and waited, listening to their plans.  
  
"You are too easy on her, Hijikata-kun."  
  
"And you were not? Normally you would have accepted such an offer."  
  
Sanan let out an audible sigh. "She pushes herself too much. After her watch last night, she returned to eat, then trained for 2 hours. When is the last time she slept?"  
  
"I ordered her to sleep for two hours near dawn," Yamazaki said.  
  
"How long will you let her continue this?" Sanan asked.  
  
Aimi held her hand over her mouth. Did Sanan imply this wasn't a real position?  
  
"She does the job well. She's determined to prove herself." Hijikata's exasperation was clear. "She will find balance in time."  
  
"I fear your judgement is clouded. You trust her too quickly." Sanan's voice was cold and harsh.  
  
"You've become a cynic, she's had ample opportunities to betray us, or escape."  
  
"And each of those could be another layer of her ultimate betrayal. We keep the secrets of the shogun, or have you forgotten your duty for a pretty face?"  
  
"I know my duty, and if she betrays us I will kill her myself." The harsh reality of Hijikata's words cut deeper than any blade.  
  
Aimi returned to her room. Her mood sullen. She'd worked hard to prove her worth, and her loyalty. She thought going beyond what they asked would show them her devotion. She'd never thought to use their trust against them. Aimi never intended to betray them, not after all they had done for her. She'd been right in one thing, though. They thought Hijikata was a victim to her charms.  She would need to keep her distance from him until they trusted her.  


* * *

  
(Chizuru)  
  
She marched beside Kondou on their way to Ikeda. Okita, Nagakura, Heisuke and Takeda also joined him. While Hijikata took Saito and Harada with the bulk of the men not sick with food poisoning. Chizuru still couldn't believe Kondou asked her to come and act as his messenger. She expected him to ask Aimi, now that she was one of the Watch. But they left Aimi with Sanan. He would need a messenger, in case someone attacked the compound while they were gone. Chizuru wondered if Kondou left Aimi there to protect the compound and Sanan. With his injury, it made sense to leave someone capable of fighting behind.  
  
Aimi was far more skilled with a blade than she was. Even with her years of training, Chizuru wasn't half as strong as Aimi. Aimi trained first as a dancer since she was young. Only taking up the blade a few years ago. Chizuru touched the hilt of her kodachi. She'd pleased her instructor with her training, and thought herself skilled. She used to enjoy it, until the fear of getting cut created an aversion to blades. Even if she healed rapidly, she worried what others would think of her if they knew. Aimi seemed fearless. She didn't walk with her eyes downcast, or shoulders bent. She stood tall, and confident. In the face of danger she stood even stronger, defiant and taunting her challengers. Much like the captains.  
  
When Aimi and Chizuru first met the Shinsengumi, Aimi risked her life to save Chizuru. Her actions earned her a measure of respect with the younger captains. Her most surprising supporters had been Okita, Saito and Hijikata. Kondou wanted to send her to Edo to his family. Sanan and Hijikata raised concerns she might know more than she let on. She'd admitted to working as a spy for someone claiming to be part of the shogunate. They expected her to attempt escape. Each day she stayed, added to their confusion, and admiration. Aimi and her loyalty to the Shinsengumi were the topics of many conversations Chizuru overheard,  
  
"Hey, kid, you still with us?" Nagakura called.  
  
Chizuru looked up to see she had fallen back while deep in thought. She scurried to catch up.  
  
"Oh, sorry. I was worried about Aimi-san and Sanan-san. What if they are attacked?" she asked. "Everyone is too sick to fight but them."  
  
Nagakura shrugged his shoulders. "It's possible, but unlikely. Their plan is to create chaos and kidnap the Emperor. It's a mission for small numbers. We know there are two dozen Choshu ronin in Kyoto, and at least that many more who might be. They would be spread too thin to attack the compound in Mibu and the Imperial Estate on the other end of Kyoto."  
  
Chizuru tilted her head at him. "I suppose that makes sense."  
  
"Besides, Aimi and Sanan-san are pretty smart. They would find a way to even the odds." Nagakura smiled and tousled her hair. "I wish I'd have seen her beat Yamazaki. I hear it was something." His eyes danced with the same excitement as when he watched a good sparring match.  
  
Okita shrugged. "She's skilled, but Yamazaki underestimated her." Okita touched the bridge of his nose, a slight smile caused the corners of his mouth to twitch. Okita had underestimated her himself.  
  
"Isn't that half of every fight? Intimidate or mislead our enemy?" Heisuke asked.  
  
"Well, you mislead them, pipsqueak. I'll stick to intimidating them." Nagakura puffed his chest.  
  
"You're a bastard, you know that Shin?" Heisuke's smile softened his words. "I'm fine with them thinking I'm an easy target, means I get to kick more ass than you do, since they run from you to fight me." Heisuke hit his fist on his chest.  
  
Their banter back and forth set Chizuru at ease. If they weren't worried about tonight's raid then she wouldn't.  
  
Soon after arriving they learned the meeting was in fact being held at Ikeda. Chizuru listened, not entirely certain what was going on. They expected reinforcements from the Aizu and Judiciary Commissioner, but they had yet to make an appearance. Takeda voiced his concern they lacked forces enough to subdue the number of operatives inside the inn. He advised they wait for reinforcements. Kondou agreed they would wait.  
  
Chizuru wasn't the only one who grew restless after another hour passed. There was still no sign of reinforcements.  
  
"Damn it..." Okita was the first to complain. "It's getting pretty late."  
  
"Kondou-san, what do you want to do? It'd be pretty lame to just sit here all night," Nagakura  said.  
  
Kondou grew serious."We can't wait any longer." He ordered Souji, Nagakura, and Heisuke to follow him.  
  
Takeda offered to guard the front entrance of the inn.  
  
Okita smirked at him. "It's all good. I mean we don't want him mistakenly stabbing us in the dark you know. Oh actually...We may mistakenly stab him." The expression Okita leveled on Takeda lacked the warm spark of humor that usually accompanied one of his teasing barbs.  
  
Chizuru sensed an undercurrent of something malicious. Given the way Takeda mocked Aimi, Chizuru didn't fault Okita. Aimi brushed off his leering looks with a shrug. Chizuru doubted she could do the same if their roles were reversed. She'd observed Takeda attempt to waylay Aimi a few times. Chizuru pretended one of the captains was within hearing distance by calling out a greeting. Her ruse worked, sending Takeda scurrying off, but eventually Chizuru worried he would find Aimi alone. Chizuru didn't like the way he watched her.  
  
"Okita-san, what are you suggesting?" Takeda asked.  
  
"Now, now. If you want someone charging in, you want someone reliable. With that said, take care of the outside, Takeda-san." Nagakura didn't resist adding his own barbed comment.  
  
Heisuke held his tongue, but the mocking smile he gave Takeda matched the others'.  
  
"Yukimura-kun, stay back from the inn. We don't intend to let any rebels escape, but I want you to be safe." Kondou gave her a confident smile and ran toward the inn.  
  
"We are the Shinsengumi; retainers of the Lieutenant-General of the Aizu Domain. By imperial decree, you are all under arrest!" Kondou's voice boomed like a cannon into the night.  
  
Chaos broke out as a chorus of screams and yells erupted from the inn.  
  
"Giving the enemy a good loud warning that he's about to kick the tar out of them. That's Kondou for you..." Okita laughed and raced after Kondou.  
  
"Eh, seems like good form anyway. It's polite to let 'em know what their up against." Nagakura grinned at Heisuke, his sword already in hand.  
  
"Oh, so your idea of good form is putting us at a disadvantage?" Heisuke grinned at Nagakura and drew his sword.  
  
The two sauntered cockily toward the inn.  
  
"We act with the authority of the government. Resist and you will be shown no mercy!" Kondou's voice rang through the inn.  
  
The battle was begun. The clash of blades and screams of pain ripped through the night. Chizuru flinched, hearing the thud of a body hitting the floor. A helplessness settled over her as she listened to the sounds of men fighting and possibly dying.  
  
"Damn it! There's too many of them! We need backup. Is anyone still out there?" Nagakura asked.  
  
Chizuru surveyed the area around her. The few men who stayed outside had moved to the back. Takeda guarded the front, there was no one to hear Nagakura's request. She swallowed. No one but her.  
  
But what could she hope to do? She didn't possess the skill the others had. Even the lowliest soldier could defeat her. She should have stayed behind, while Aimi joined Kondou. At least Aimi could fight.  


* * *

  
(Aimi)  
The voice of one of the young pages woke her. Sanan sent for her. Kondou left the security of the compound to him in the off chance someone might attack while their forces were busy elsewhere. His passive aggressive tone left her little doubt he felt the duty was merely a hand out. The loss of his left arm seemed to have stripped him of his previous virtues. The bitterness replaced his gentle strength, and snide coldness now laced his once quiet but warm voice. She wished there was more she could do to help him, but his wound was beyond her own medical knowledge.  
  
"So we wait and guard the compound." She gave him a grim smile.    
  
"Well, I should hope I'll be of more use than the men who've been confined to their beds, at least."  
  
Aimi groaned inwardly. "There are other ways of fighting. The weapon doesn't make the man, Sanan-san." Aimi bit the inside of her cheek at her boldness. No matter how well meaning her words were, Sanan possessed a short fuze these days.  
  
Sanan's eyes widened, but before he could answer the door slid silently open.  
  
"Colonel Sanan. We've confirmed the Choshu are meeting at Ikeda."  
  
Sanan grew serious at the news. They were so certain the meeting was being held at Shikoku and sent only half as many men to Ikeda. Kondou would need reinforcements, and quickly.  
  
"Yamazaki, can you do me a favor? First, go tell Hijikata that the enemy is meeting at Ikeda. He should still be on his way to Shikoku. Take Aimi-san with you as well."  
  
"I'll go." Aimi gave Sanan a grim nod.  
  
Yamazaki narrowed his eyes. "This isn't like our patrols through the streets."  
  
"I realize this, but even those have an element of danger. I'm capable of defending myself. I only worry about the compound." She turned to Sanan. "You'll have no one here if I leave, you'll be..." She bit off the rest of her sentence. Sanan wasn't defenseless, but with so many men sick their chance of deflecting an attack dwindled. "There aren't enough men who've recovered enough to fight. You can't hold a siege on your own."  
  
"There may be ronin out there to intercept you. There is a chance the Choshu has reinforcements. If your message were to be intercepted, you won't reach Hijikata in time." Sana gave her a soft smile, one she hadn't seen him use since before his injury. "Do you see what I am trying to say?"  
  
"Yes. If the worst should happen, I can hold off any Choshu ronin and give her the message." Yamazaki gave him a grim look.  
  
"I understand." Aimi pinched her lips together. She didn't like that Sana suggested Yamazaki should sacrifice himself to see her deliver the message.  
  
"Of course, I doubt it will come to that," Sanan said. He further asked Yamazaki to deliver another message to Aizu and the Judiciary Commissioner.  
  
"If you're willing to take the risk, you're welcome to join me."  
  
"You needn't worry about me." She'd not had to hurt anyone yet, but if it came down to it she wouldn't hesitate.  
  
Sanan gave her a warm smile.  
  
"Very well, Colonel. I accept your request."  
  
She pulled the pistol from her belt along with the pouch of bullets. Saitani gave her the pistol and ammo when they first met. He feared she was defenseless. "Here. If you're attacked, this will even the odds. One man with a revolver is deadly." She stepped toward him, showing him how to load it. "You pretty much point and shoot. If you follow your line of sight with your hand, you can't miss. Hold it like this." She placed the pistol in his hand and wrapped her fingers around his. Showing him how to cock the gun with his thumb. "You can load it with one hand, though two is faster." When she was satisfied he knew the basics, she released his hand.  
  
Sanan stared at her a bemused look on his face.  
  
"Did you have a question?"  
  
"I've used a gun before but not a pistol. This is one of the new models. It's an American invention, if I'm not mistaken." A light filled his eyes she hadn't seen since they first met. He held her eyes, studying her face. With a nod he tucked the pistol into the sash around his waist. "I was unaware he returned this to you." Sanan's voice dropped to a whisper. "I wonder, is it my judgement rather than his which is clouded?"  
  
Aimi gave him a wide eyed look.  
  
"Go, he needs you tonight. We will be fine here." Sanan's voice was soft and full of warmth.  
  
"Run with all your might." Yamazaki raced into the night.  
  
Aimi took off after him, and stayed beside him as they raced through the empty streets. She came to an abrupt halt, she sensed more than one person nearby.  
  
Yamazaki hissed. "Keep going. No matter what happens, follow this street. Don't look back."  
  
Aimi surpassed him in fading into the dark of night. She'd been holding back because he watched her so closely. She didn't think they would understand her uncanny ability to disappear in the blink of an eye. She didn't understand it either. Her sensei only told her to keep her talents hidden. "I'll stay behind. You should go. They won’t know what hit them."  
  
"Don't be a fool! We already decided you would continue with the message."  
  
Aimi gave him a cheeky grin. "I'm the one with the talent for distracting men. Besides, they tend to underestimate my skill."  
  
"If we need a lure, then it's going to be me. Run for it." He grabbed her arm and took off running again.  
  
Before they reached the next intersection Aimi's skin crawled, someone watched them. In the next instant she saw a flash of metal.  
  
"Keep going. I'll catch up in a minute. Just keep running until you see a white uniform. Promise me."  
  
"Damn it." His demand she promise took the protest from her. "All right." Aimi nodded and took off. She ignored the clash of metal behind her and ran faster.  
  
Aimi regretted the lack of sleep the previous days. With staking out Masu's half the night and then half of the day, she'd found little time to properly rest. She pushed through, determined to show the skeptics that she belonged. Tonight she was paying for it. Aimi ran further than she'd ever run at one time. Pushing herself to run faster, she ignored the burning pain in her legs. Just when she thought her legs would give out, she was nearly blinded by a white glare. She threw her hand up to shield her eyes.  
  
"What the hell are you doing?" Hijikata practically growled at her.  
  
Aimi skidded to a stop and her legs gave out. She collapsed as Harada reached out to catch her.  
  
"Hey, you alright? Is headquarters under attack?"  
  
Aimi shook her head. Harada's pulled her to her feet, holding her while she gathered herself. She gripped his forearms tightly and took a few ragged breaths before giving her report. Time was already against them.  
  
"They're meeting at Ikeda." She stumbled over the short sentence through gasps of breath. The drain on her from the lack of sleep was quickly catching up to her. She bit the inside of her cheek, Hijikata was right. She needed to find balance.  
  
Hijikata's expression changed. "Then they are at Ikeda."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Are you sure?" Saito asked.  
  
Hijikata pointed at Aimi. "Sanan-san lost his arm, not his brain. The colonel sent us this message."  
  
"I'm impressed you found us. I didn't realize you knew Kyoto this well," Harada said.  
  
"Yamazaki." Aimi was beginning to catch her breath and she told them Sanan sent them both. "We were waylaid, I ran ahead."  
  
"What about the Aizu and the commissioner's men? Are they on their way to Ikeda?" Hijikata asked.  
  
Aimi shook her head. "We were to report to you first."  
  
Hijikata stood quietly a moment. Aimi could all but see his thoughts spinning through his head. Hijikata was always two steps ahead of everyone else, and she wondered what he was planning.  
  
"Siato, Harada, take the men to Ikeda. I need to deal with something."  
  
Saito turned to Aimi. "You have overtaxed yourself, you'll be no help at the inn. Stay with Hijikata-san."  
  
Aimi bit the inside of her cheek. Saito's stern expression was sharp as he reproached her. She had worried them again. Any apology that came to mind would sound too much like an excuse. She bowed and wished them well.  
  
Harada patted her shoulder. "You'll get it figured out. We all push ourselves too much sometimes."  
  
Aimi sighed as she watched them disappear into the night. The sound of men running receded into the darkness. Aimi prayed they weren't too late.  
  
(To be Continued)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Battle at the Inn was more than they anticipated. Chizuru worries reinforcements won't arrive in time and rushes into danger.

(Continued)  
  
(Chizuru)

"Souji! Are you all right?" Kondou's concern gave his voice a higher pitch.  
  
From deeper in the inn she heard Nagakura. "Damn it, Heisuke. Don't die on me!"  
  
The desperation in Nagakura's voice as he yelled for Heisuke spurred Chizuru into action. Her feet moved with a mind of their own. She couldn't stop from entering. Her fear for her friends was greater than her need for self-preservation. They needed her. If nothing else she could pull the wounded to safety.  
  
She wasn't prepared for the grisly scene she walked into. The smell of blood hit her like a punch in the stomach. Blood and bodies littered the inn. What did she really hope to do here? She took a step back and searched the inn. Rushing in blindly would get her, or someone else injured or worse.  
  
The yell of an attacking ronin froze her with fear. As his blade swung at her head the clash of metal rang out.  
  
"You're fighting me, pal. You don't run unless I say you can." Nagakura intercepted the ronin. With a deliberate strike, the ronin screamed and dropped to the floor.  
  
Blood spurted from the wound in his belly. Chizuru covered her nose and mouth with her sleeve to hide from the stench of blood. Her stomach lurched. Her eyes rounded as she stared at the growing puddle beneath him. There was so much blood.  
  
"Hey, kid. I hate to ask this, but can you check upstairs? Nobody will get past me."  
  
His request went unanswered. Chizuru found it hard to focus on anything but Nagakura's hand. She pointed to the blood covering his left hand, but he shrugged it off as just a scratch. He asked her again to check upstairs. His confidence was the push she needed and she dashed up the stairs.  
  
The coppery tang of blood was heavy in the air. The screams of men, and the sounds of flesh rent by metal echoed around her. She darted to the first door and entered the room. Closing herself away from the battle raging on the other side.  
  
The adrenaline from the earlier excitement left her and she grew weary. Could she just hide here until it was over? She bit her lip, she couldn't. Her friends needed her. But maybe just for a moment it would be okay. She scanned the room. It appeared untouched by battle. Chizuru let the tension in her shoulders ease with a deep sigh.  
  
"Pray tell, what brings you to me?" A man sat at the window staring into the night sky. He studied the stars seemingly unaffected by the battle raging around them. He hadn't even looked in her direction.  
  
His aura drew Chizuru in and she couldn't look away. He looked nothing like anyone she'd met before. His short, shaggy locks held the color of the sun, and his haori was a similar color accented with gold. The richness of the fabric made her pause. What would a man like him be doing here? His coolness and solemn demeanor calmed her jangled nerves. "Um... Who are you?"  
  
His crimson eyes turned her way. "So you question the master now, huh? How interesting. You should turn the mirror on yourself rather than worry about me."  
  
She snapped alert at his words. She'd all but forgotten he was her enemy, and they were in the middle of a battle. She reached for her kodachi.  
  
His eyes followed her movement. "Oh, now there's a pretty blade. You've brought a kodachi to a sword fight. Huh? Is that..." His eyes fixed on her weapon. He stood swiftly and gracefully. She nearly believed she imagined it, until he strode toward her, his eyes never leaving her kodachi.  
  
The door slid open and Chizuru whirled toward the intruder. A ronin rushed in. "The Shinsengumi raided..." He stopped short. "Who are you?" He didn't give her a chance to respond. He rushed forward and swung his sword. Before he reached her the mysterious man behind her roared.  
  
"SILENCE!" The sound of tearing flesh ripped through the air followed by the warm spurt of blood. He cut the ronin down with one strike. "Didn't I tell you. You should be more concerned for yourself." His tone was that of a parent scolding a petulant child. Chizuru bit her lip. Why did it bother her that he hadn't seen through her disguise? She shrugged it off. It was best everyone saw her as just a small boy.  
  
"I don't understand? Wasn't he your ally?"  
  
"Well, he's not, that's why I cut him loose."  
  
He flicked the blood from his sword and sheathed it with grace. His self-possession mesmerized her. There was something about his eyes that held her captive. He stared into hers, drawing her into a lucid hypnosis. Her breath caught in her throat and an odd sensation washed over her skin. He smirked at her.  
  
"Um... Thank you."  
  
His smile lifted his lips, showing perfect white teeth. "Hmm, looks like you have some manners despite being the Shinsengumi's bitch."  
  
He mocked her and the Shinsengumi, but she couldn't find it in her to be offend. "Why did you save me?"  
  
He motioned at her kodachi. "Is the kodachi yours?"  
  
"Well, yes..."  
  
"Then you have your kodachi to thank. My business here is done. You may do whatever you want." He waved a hand dismissively, as if she were a servant he shooed away.  
  
"I don't understand?"  
  
He winked slyly and strode confidently toward the window. He jumped through it without hesitation.  
  
Chizuru gasped and raced to the window. She leaned out the see what direction he took, but there was no trace to be found. He'd simply vanished. She stared into the night dumbfounded. She sensed a presence behind her and slowly moved to grip the hilt of her kodachi.  
  
"Yukimura, are you all right?" Saito's voice put her at ease.  
  
"Saito-san! How are you here?" Chizuru nearly rushed to hug him, but stopped herself.  
  
"Aimi-san told us the Choshu were meeting at Ikeda."  
  
"Is she here? I'd like to see her."  
  
Saito shook his head. "She stayed with the commander."  
  
Chizuru was disappointed to learn her friend wasn't there, but grateful for the reinforcements. The Choshu were quickly subdued, the worst of it was over. Saito escorted her outside, where the wounded were gathered and asked her to tend to them. Chizuru was proud she could help even if in the smallest of ways.

* * *

  
(Aimi)

This was the first time in weeks she was alone with Hijikata. They met during breakfast, but never just the two of them. Her assignments came through Saito or Yamazaki. The increase in Choshu activity required much of his time. She didn't know what to say to him that wouldn't give away her eavesdropping just hours ago. As the silence stretched on she looked up at him.  
  
He smiled at her. "Good job with the message. It might have given us the advantage we need."  
  
Aimi hadn't expected praise from Hijikata over such a small thing. She flushed as she stared back at him. The same light lit his eyes as the night she fought Yamazaki and bested him. The memory of his last kiss brought only the sharp ache of loss. She looked away quickly afraid he would read her thoughts in her eyes.  
  
"So, what about the Aizu and Judiciary Commissioner? Didn't Yamazaki take a message to them before everyone left?" She didn't understand why they hadn't responded to the message.  
  
Hijikata gave her a grim nod and clenched his jaw. "If he returned to the compound, they were informed."  
  
They stepped out of the alley and into the main street.  
  
"Why are we here?" Choshu ronin could be anywhere, it was reckless for the two of them to stroll openly through the streets.  
  
"What kind of man tries to hide all the time?" He gave her a smug smile.  
  
Hijikata was always steps ahead of everyone else. She suspected he was planning something, but what she couldn't guess. It appeared the Judiciary Commissioner had abandoned them to deal with the Choshu alone. So why hadn't he joined the others marching to Ikeda Inn?  
  
Aimi jumped at the sudden appearance of Yamazaki. "Yamazaki! You're safe!" She breathed a sigh of relief, and pulled him into a hug.  
  
"Er.." He stood stiff, his eyes wide as saucers.  
  
"Oh, um, sorry. I was just worried about you." Aimi let him go and stepped back.  
  
He nodded. "I see you are aware of the situation at Ikeda. Colonel Sanan ordered me to inform Aizu and the Judiciary Commissioner, but..."  
  
"Yeah. I'll have new orders for you in a few minutes. Stick close for now."  
  
"Understood." Yamazaki bowed.  
  
He stood beside Aimi with a relaxed stance. She looked him over closely for injuries.  
  
"You're uninjured?"  
  
"I'm fine. I'm glad you made it through safe."  
  
"How could I not, with such a gallant protector?" She fluttered her eyes at him and smiled at the pink creeping over his ears.  
  
"He's not paying attention." Yamazaki's voice was barely a whisper.  
  
Aimi's eyes grew wide.  
  
"Your flirting. I assume it's to make the commander jealous?"  
  
Aimi's cheeks warmed. "Well, it's no fun when you put it like that." She nudged his shoulder and gave him a soft smile. "If it bothers you, I'll stop."  
  
Yamazaki let out a breath and a slight shake of his head.  
  
"Aimi, Yamazaki, stay to the shadows." Hijikata stood straight and glared down the road. "Your commander needs to have a word with a bunch of useless bastards."  
  
Aimi shivered at the cold anger in his eyes.  
  
Just as Hijikata spoke, they appeared. Lines of government soldiers marched down the road. There were hundreds of them. They stretched across the road several rows deep. Their slow pace angered her. The Shinsengumi had far fewer men fighting at the inn, giving their lives to protect Kyoto. Didn't these men have the same responsibility? Why weren't they speeding toward Ikeda?  
  
Hijikata noticed her anger and gave a snort of laughter. "Don't worry. I'll make sure they don't screw us."  
  
He stepped into the middle of the street, directly in the path of the advancing soldiers. He took only a few steps and turned to face them, but his movements held such authority that Aimi didn't doubt he had total control of the situation. Her heart swelled with pride for the man standing before her.  
  
"The Shinsengumi is currently conducting an official investigation of the Ikeda Inn! You will not interfere. You will not enter the inn." His commanding voice gave no room for argument.  
  
The government officials looked at each other. Clearly they intended to make their way to the inn. Aimi began to think they didn't intend to really help, but to simply take credit for the work of the Shinsengumi in stopping the Choshu threat.  
  
Yamazaki spoke quietly beside her, and confirmed her thoughts.  
  
"But it's the Shinsengumi risking their lives!" Aimi’s voice rose.  
  
"Then you see now how little respect they have for the Shinsengumi. The Commander is single-handedly protecting the Shinsengumi now. If we allow them into Ikeda Inn, they will spread tales of their false heroism. All that we may do here tonight may be in vain if we allow them to front the raid. That is why the Commander is trying to prevent the Aizu Domain from intruding."  
  
She gripped the hilt of her sword. If anyone dared to force their way past, she would fight at his side.  
  
One official spoke out, but Hijikata brokered no argument from them. He stood firmly planted in the street until the battle was over. Not a single man challenged the Demon Vice-Commander.

* * *

  
Dawn was breaking when they returned to the compound. The Shinsengumi celebrated a great victory, and many Choshu operatives were killed or arrested. Their victory wasn't without cost. During the battle, Souji was struck in the chest and knocked unconscious. Heisuke also suffered a severe blow to the forehead. While Nagakura injured his hand. They lost one Shinsengumi soldier, and two more were gravely injured.  
  
Hijikata sent Aimi to her room as soon as they returned. She paced the small space, agitated that her time near him was so short. She scolded herself for expecting him to have time for her. He was the Shinsengumi Vice-Commander. Whether she wanted to be near him or not, his obligations to his company came first. He wouldn't be Hijikata if he shirked his duty to pander to her.  
  
A soft voice drew her from her grousing.  
  
"It's Chizuru. May I come in?"  
  
"Yes, of course." Aimi rushed to open the door and pulled Chizuru into the room, hugging her tightly. "I was so worried about you."  
  
"I'm okay."  
  
Aimi looked her over and found her without injury, but her skin was ashen and her mood was far more solemn than her usual cheerful demeanor.  
  
"War is a messy business. It takes a strong will to withstand the brutality of it." She squeezed her arms gently.  
  
Chizuru nodded. "It was awful. There was so much blood. So many men died."  
  
Aimi ushered her to a cushion. "Would you like some tea? Inoue brought a pot, and I've an extra cup."  
  
"Yes, please. Tea sounds lovely. I..." She bit her lip. "There was a strange man there."  
  
"Oh? One of the Choshu ronin?"  
  
Chizuru shook her head. "I'm not sure. The fighting was so intense. Okita and Heisuke were in trouble and Nagakura called for help."  
  
Chizuru recalled the events of the night. How the smell of blood hung heavy in the air. How frightened she was, and how hopeless she felt. She ran upstairs and found the first room not affected by fighting.  
  
She hung her head, staring at the floor "I needed to get away from the blood. That's when I saw him. I didn't know what to think. I've never felt like that before. As if I were under a spell. I knew he wasn't one of ours, but I still couldn't see him as my enemy."  
  
Aimi sipped her tea, listening attentively. She spoke only after Chizuru paused. "Why do you think he was there?"  
  
"I'm not sure. A ronin entered the room and started to talk to him, until they saw me. The ronin attacked me, but the man cut him down before he could hurt me."  
  
"Oh my! That sounds dreadful, no wonder you’re as pale as rice paper." Aimi expected the events were more intense than Chizuru led her to believe.  
  
"Oddly, I wasn't afraid. When I asked him why he saved me he pointed at my kodachi and asked if it was mine. He seemed pleased that it was."  
  
Aimi tilted her head and raised an eyebrow. Samurai held swords in high regard. Families passed honored weapons down through generations. "What is significant about your kodachi? I know my own wakizashi has been in my mother's family for generations."  
  
"It's the same with mine, it was my mothers." Chizuru held out her sheathed blade.  
  
Aimi took it. She pulled the blade halfway out. The metal gleamed in the candlelight. Intricate details were etched along the back of the blade. The handle was just as beautiful, if well worn. It was easy to see the value of it. The night they met, three ronin had tried to take it from Chizuru.

Aimi pulled the blade free and tested its balance. It was of similar quality as her own wakizashi. Aimi'd always wondered at the details on the blade. Her mother said they were words of a lost language. Those on Chizuru's blade were eerily similar.  
  
"It's a well made blade. That it holds the memories of your family makes its value immeasurable. Keep it well cared for and it will keep you safe."  
  
"That's what my father told me when he gave it to me."  
  
Aimi sheathed the blade and returned it to Chizuru. "You'll be reunited soon."  
  
Chizuru bit her lip. "Hijikata-san said he was seen with someone from the west. But how can that be? The more I learn about him the more worried I become."  
  
"I'm sure your father is safe." Aimi mulled over the information.  
  
"That's part of what worries me. What if he betrayed the Shinsengumi and the shogun?" Chizuru's words echoed her own thoughts. "If he did, will they blame me? Would they think me their enemy?"  
  
Aimi patted her shoulder. "You've earned your place here. I never would have thought they'd willingly take you out on a raid. You aren't just their charge, Chizuru, but their friend. As for your father, you know him best. What does your heart tell you?"  
  
Chizuru brightened. "Thank you, Aimi-san"  
  
"What about the mysterious man? What happened when the Shinsengumi saw him?"  
  
Chizuru bit her lip. "I learned later he was the one who fought Okita-san, and wounded him. I don't know how to feel about that. But he was gone before anyone else saw him."  
  
"If he bested Souji, it's their good fortune he didn't decide to stay and make trouble." Aimi mulled over this information as well. Few men had the skill to best Souji one on one. She hoped, for Chizuru's sake, he wasn't an enemy of the Shinsengumi.  
  
Chizuru nodded. "Saito-san said you were the reason they knew to come to Ikeda."  
  
Aimi smiled and nodded. "Sanan-san sent me with Yamazaki to warn Hijikata-san. I was glad to be of use."  
  
"Then I thank you for the reinforcements." Chizuru bowed.  
  
Aimi waved her away. "It was nothing. Yamazaki was the one who risked his life to see the message was delivered safely. He battled ronin in the street while I ran away."  
  
"Then I will thank him, as well, the next time I see him." Chizuru grew quiet, staring out the window lost in thought. Her brows pinched together.  
  
"What troubles you?"  
  
Chizuru sighed. "I'm just unsure of what I felt when we spoke." Her cheeks turned rosie. "You know how Hijikata holds everyone's attention so easily? This man was like that, and it seemed effortless. He was so regal and commanding."  
  
"How old are you now?"  
  
"Um, almost 18. Why?"  
  
"And have you ever been..." Aimi hesitated, unsure how to ask. "Interested in a young man?"  
  
"No, father asked me that a few months before he left. I think he was worried to leave me alone. I know many girls my age are already married."  
  
"It's a natural question for a parent to ask. I grew up in a private school. There were many girls and everyone grew interested in young men at different ages. Everyone is different."  
  
"When did you find young men interesting?"  
  
"I didn't meet any until I left the school. I was just your age, and while the girls spoke of men they knew, I'd never met any. They had families and friends, and were connected to the nobility. I was an orphan. I had means, but no connections as a foreigner." Aimi grew thoughtful as she remembered meeting Saitani for the first time. "I was on a ship for Japan when I met Saitani."  
  
Chizuru's eyes grew wide. "I thought you met him the day I did!"  
  
"I let everyone think that. The night you and I met I was delivering a list of names to him." Aimi waved away Cizuru’s concern. "Hijikata-san knows, so do the rest of them. Anyway, Saitani is a very charming man, and his smile made my heart flutter in my chest. He was so kind, and so....overwhelming."  
  
"He is very charming." Chizuru's cheeks darkened. "I think I know what you mean. Did this man make me feel something?"  
  
Aimi nodded.  
  
"I think so. My heart was already racing before I saw him, but I felt, well, I felt safe with him." Chizuru shook her head. "Even when he was insulting I wasn't angry. When he left I was shocked at how fast he disappeared, and disappointed he was gone before I could ask him more questions. He was so refined. And commanding just like Hijikata-san!"  
  
Aimi smiled and her own cheeks warmed. "You should have seen Hijikata-san last night," she murmured.  
  
Chizuru giggled behind her hand. "Oh! You do like Hijikata-san? You two always seem mad at each other."  
  
Aimi shook her head. "Hijikata-san has many responsibilities. I should be more forgiving, but when he snaps at me like he does everyone else, I can't help but snap back at him. I'm not very good at biting my tongue."  
  
"I don't think Hijikata-san minds so much when you argue with him." Chizuru giggled.  
  
"And just how would you know that?" Aimi raised her eyebrow. Hijikata leveled the same icy glares at her he did the rest of them. After overhearing him and Sanan, she knew he wouldn’t hesitate to kill her if she threatened the Shinsengumi and their secrets.  
  
"They tend to forget I'm nearby. I hear a lot of things I probably shouldn't." Chizuru blushed and looked at her hands. "I heard them discussing how much longer it will take him to move you into his room."  
  
"Hijikata-san was discussing that?"  
  
"Oh, no, not him, the captains. They um, well there is a bet, you see."  
  
Aimi couldn't help but laugh. "Yes, you certainly hear things you shouldn't. Ya know, living with a bunch of men is giving you bad habits, kid."  
  
She shrugged. "I'm just trying to blend in. It isn't easy pretending to be a boy all the time."  
  
Aimi ruffled her hair. "Just don't be in a hurry to grow up. Once you do, you can't go back."

 

* * *

  
Aimi sat in the infirmary watching over Souji and Heisuke. Yamazaki and Shimada were on rounds, but she had been ordered to rest. Not by Hijikata, but by Saito. Even Souji had scolded her for wearing herself too thin. He'd wanted her to join them in the raid. They wouldn't have known about the plot, if not for her in the first place.  
  
Guilt weighed heavy in her chest. She should have been there. Had she been, maybe neither of them would have gotten hurt. She'd worked so hard to be useful, but had let them down. She wept silently over Souji, worried for him. He was pale and sweating, but his body showed no fever. Was his a case of food poisoning, but with different symptoms? Even Yamazaki was stumped at his condition.  
  
"Heh? Tears for me? I'm not on my way out just yet, little sister." Souji brushed the tears from her cheek. "Still, it's kind of nice to have a woman crying over me."  
  
"Souji, you're such a cad." Aimi smiled at him and took a deep breath. "How do you feel?"  
  
"Pissed off. That son of a bitch caught me off guard. I'd like to know how!" He clenched his hands into fists. He looked over at Heisuke. "How is he?"  
  
"The bleeding has slowed, but it will take a while for all of it to stop. The blow damaged all the tiny vessels in his forehead." Aimi bit her lip. Heisuke said the man was unarmed, but how could he have caused such damage with one strike? "I'm just worried there is swelling we can't see."  
  
"I didn't know you knew anything about medicine."  
  
"When I couldn't be a dancer, I started studying medicine. My mother left me a substantial sum, and the school indulged my every whim."  
  
"Were you happy there?" Souji asked, his voice quiet and uncertain.  
  
"I wasn't unhappy, but it was very lonely. I didn't fit in with the other girls. While they worried about running a house full of servants, I studied to be a dancer, and later medicine. They brought in a private instructors for me. I think the girls resented the special treatment I received, though many of them came from far wealthier families."  
  
Souji nodded and let out a sigh. "Sounds like a pain in the ass if you ask me."  
  
Aimi chuckled softly and looked to see that Heisuke still slept. "What about you? What was it like growing up in a dojo?"  
  
Souji shrugged. "I hated it at first. I wasn't the first kid there, but I was the youngest. I had to learn real fast to keep from getting beat up. Kondou-san was the only one who seemed to understand. He sort of, took responsibility of me. Things were good after that, until Hijikata-san showed up."  
  
"It must have been tough to have to share Kondou-san's attention."  
  
"Hijikata-san was always an asshole, but he respects Kondou-san. He's always working hard for Konou-san and the Shinsengumi, so I guess that's good enough."  
  
"I was feeling down one day and Inoue said, 'Everyone has their part to play. No matter how large or small.' You're also important to Kondou-san and the Shinsengumi. And if not for you, I wouldn't be here."  
  
"Oh? Well, I guess not. You'd be dead." Souji yawned. "Go get some rest. Don't fret about last night. You still did good getting the message through."  
  
Aimi smiled at him. Souji, for all his faults was a good man underneath. She leaned down and kissed his cheek. "Good night, big brother."  
  
Souji sighed. "Yep, it's pretty nice having a girl take care of you. You're a lot sweeter than Yamazaki."  
  
"Hey, do I get a kiss too?" Heisuke asked.  
  
"No, you do not!" Hijikata barked from the doorway. "Go back to sleep! Aimi, you were ordered to rest, were you not?"  
  
Aimi jumped to her feet. "I did rest. For the whole day, I've not even lifted a sword since we returned."  
  
Hijikata nodded. "Then get some food and get more rest. You better be ready when Saito-san releases you for training, because it's about to get tougher."  
  
Aimi swallowed the lump in her throat. "I understand." She bowed and rushed past him.  
  
"You sure are a real asshole, you know that, Hijikata-san?" Souji's voice followed her out the door. "That's not how you sweet talk a girl."  
  
Aimi stopped to listen to his reply.  
  
"Aimi isn't just some girl. She's an officer of the Shinsengumi. Her ability, or lack thereof, to do her job reflects on us all. You know this."  
  
She pressed a hand to her mouth. She'd let him down too.  
  
"Still, Hijikata-san. Don't you think you're being too hard on her? I mean Sano said you were sweet on her."  
  
"Harada doesn't know what he's talking about."  
  
Aimi blinked back the tears.  
  
"I don't believe you," Souji said.  
  
"She's an officer now, and that means off limits to all of us. Especially me."  
  
"Did you tell her that?" Heisuke asked. "Before she chose the job, I mean?"  
  
Hijikata let out a loud breath. "I didn't have the heart to. She deserves a chance to figure out what she wants in life. Not tied down as some man's wife and then live to regret it."  
  
"Damn it, just when I think I can hate you, you do something fucking noble." Souji laughed. "Still, I think you're a fool for letting her go."  
  
Aimi rushed to her room before the tears fell. She'd sensed his distance the past two weeks. She'd known it was due to her job, but hadn't thought it was a permanent distance. Still, she admired him for it, even if it broke her heart.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Ikeda, Saito takes Aimi off the active duty roster, forcing her to rest. During a training session she meets the samurai from the tea shop again and learns more about Hijikata's reasons for pushing her away.

End of July 1864   
  
Thanks to their victory at Ikeda Inn, the Shinsengumi earned a level of prestige within the shogunate and Kyoto. News of their exploits brought an increase in enrollment from Osaka and Kyoto. This allowed them to increase their presence in patrolling for those Choshu ronin who'd escaped to the streets of Kyoto.    
  
Aimi noticed a change in attitude from the lower-ranks. Those she passed greeted her as respectfully as they greeted Yamazaki, or Shimada. Even Sanan's attitude toward her softened.    
  
After a week, Saito returned her to active duty. Aimi was eager to resume her job. She wasn't certain how much longer she could stand to rest. After the first three days it was apparent Saito used the down time as a disciplinary measure against her stubbornness in the weeks before. He'd warned her not to overtax herself. His disappointment over her lack of self care shamed her more than Hijikata's angry scowls, or Souji's lack of teasing ever could. She'd let them all down by pushing herself beyond her limits.   
  
Saito now allowed her only two hours of training on days she was on patrol. Aimi balked at this at first, but she worked harder in those two hours than she had in the previous weeks on her own. Souji, Nagakura and Saito were her instructors. Twice a week she would train with the soldiers. Souji and Heisuke were still recovering from their injuries, and unable to participate. That didn't keep them from observing. Souji watched each of her training sessions, and offered his own suggestions.   
  
She stood in the garden with only Saito and Souji. She didn’t know what to expect from the private session. Her hands grew clammy recalling how easily he disarmed her just a few months ago. She'd not even realized it until he was handing her her sword.    
  
"You need to focus. Your grip is off today."   
  
Aimi grimaced, of course he would notice. She wiped her hand on her hakama and flexed her fingers, and adjusted her grip on the wooden training sword. "I was just thinking too much."   
  
"Do not be ashamed of your defeat. Your skill is exceptional for only three years of training."   
  
She chuckled nervously, he was very perceptive. "Thank you." Aimi would never reach a level of mastery that would give her an advantage over Saito, or Souji. But she would honor their time by striving to exceed their expectations.   
  
He took her through each technique, critiquing each movement from her grip to the position of her feet. He frowned over them more than once, having her repeat them as he studied them.    
  
"Does that feel natural to you?" he asked after she repeated one technique for the third time.    
  
"Is it wrong? I've been without guidance for half a year." She bit the inside of her cheek. She had great respect for his swordsmanship.   
  
"Heh? It looks fine to me, Hajime-kun. It's not as if we don't put our own twists on old techniques."   
  
"If that is the case, then no. You know I won't change something which works for her. I am simply curious."   
  
"Could you show me how you do it? Then I will try it and see which way is best for me."   
  
He nodded and faced her. He took her slowly through the move once, then performed it with greater speed and agility. He indicated for her to attempt it.    
  
She took her stance, shifting her feet to mimic his. She altered her grip and frowned, something wasn't right.    
  
"Like this." Saito stood behind her and covered her hand with his, showing her the adjustment he wished her to try. His other hand moved to her waist, shifting her stance. He held her hand and took her through the strike. She immediately saw the difference. She grinned widely at how natural it felt. She'd thought she overcame her difficulty with this move, but had merely compromised.    
  
"Are you making a move on my sister?" Souji laughed loudly.   
  
Aimi's eyes snapped up and found Hijikata glaring at them. Saito stepped back and shrugged his shoulders. Her gaze darted to the man beside Hijikata. It was the young samurai she'd met at the tea house. Aside from Hijikata, and Saitani, he was easily one of the most handsome men she'd seen. The two of them side by side was enough to send her heart racing. She couldn't decide which of the two was more handsome.    
  
"Oh, hello, didn't we meet the other day?" she asked.   
  
"Yes, at the tea house. Okita-san's sister?" He looked expectantly at Souji.   
  
"Yes, she's my half sister." Souji walked toward them a large grin on his face. "Iba-kun, what brings you to Kyoto. It must be something important."   
  
The man called Iba beamed. "I see you are doing well. I heard about Ikeda." He looked him over, concern marred his brow.   
  
Souji shrugged. "I'm getting better." He waved at her and she came forward. "Iba Hachiro, this is my sister Okita Aimi."   
  
Aimi managed not to gape at him as he smiled warmly at her. She'd not expected to see him after that day and had put him from her mind.    
  
"It's a pleasure to officially meet you." He gave her an elegant bow and for a moment she forgot she was dressed for sparring.    
  
"I'm pleased as well. So you all really are good friends?" She asked Hijikata.   
  
"Our dojo's often competed together," Hijikata answered. "Iba Hachiro's family owns Iba dojo, one of the top 4 dojos in Edo. He is on assignment from the shogun himself. Hachiro is an Okuzume, tasked with protecting the shogun, and those directly involved with him."   
  
"What an honor that you've come to see us." Aimi felt foolish before someone so important. A body guard for the shogun was an impressive position. 

He waved off her compliment. “A position arranged by my father, nothing more. I'm curious, why is she training with Saito-san?" Iba asked. "I know she said she was with you the day we met. I confess, I didn't fully believe her. Do you intend for her to have a role beyond gathering information?"   
  
"Her skill with a blade is above those of the lower-ranks. Aimi surpasses Yamazaki in most of their shared talents." That Hijikata would remark on her skill to one outside the Shinsengumi surprised her.    
  
Iba's eyebrow lifted at the familiarity Hijikata addressed her. They all addressed her as Aimi because she'd had no family name when she first arrived, and calling her Okita now would be too confusing. It was just easier.    
  
"I don't do much aside from eavesdrop and stake out suspected Choshu sympathizers."   
  
"We've not formally informed the shogunate of her status." Hijikata clenched his jaw. "She is still very much in the training stage of her position.   
  
Aimi frowned at him. One minute he's praising her skill, the next he's acting like she's still a kid in training.   
  
"Ah, I see. No doubt they would want to assign her to additional tasks if they were aware."   
  
"Exactly. We have taken her training more seriously until we believe she is ready for that responsibility."   
  
"I understand. I won't report what I've seen today. I am here as a friend, not in an official capacity. Please, continue with the lesson. I'd be honored to observe."   
  
"Very well," Saito said. "Come, we will continue."   
  
Under the sharp eyes of Souji, Saito and now Hijikata and Iba, Aimi took up her bokken once more.    
  
Saito asked her to perform the technique on her own. The bokken became an extension of her arm and she performed the move flawlessly. She repeated the steps until she was satisfied she could execute it without thought.   
  
She met Hijikata's eyes and flushed at the praise shining there.    
  
"Thank you, for the correction Saito-san. This does feel more natural." Aimi bowed to him.   
  
Saito nodded and moved to retrieve a bokken. Aimi wet her lips and wiped her hand on her pants.    
  
"I believe you are ready." Saito tucked the bokken into his belt and rested his hand over it lightly and faced her. "Attack me." Satio's stance was relaxed, but Aimi knew it was deceptive.    
  
She took a deep breath and bowed to him. She recalled the day in her room. She mustn't underestimate his speed. She let out half a breath, willing her nerves to settle.   
  
She spun the bokken in her hand, loosening her wrist and kicked at the ground, swinging at him. His eyes widened, and his bokken came up to deflect her. She pivoted to lessened the impact of his sword. The strength of it still stung her palm. She wasted no time in attacking again. Saito easily parried each strike. He'd yet to move from a defensive position. He didn't retreat, or shift his weight, other than to push her back. She found no opening to strike him. He frowned at her, and she sensed he felt her heart wasn't in this fight. She clenched her jaw, determined to give it her all. She narrowed her eyes and feigned to his right, he stood his ground expecting the deception. She used that to her advantage. She pushed off with her foot, adding as much of her weight to her strike as she dared without leaving herself vulnerable.    
  
The loud crack of wood hitting wood echoed through the garden. He stepped back to keep his balance. A slight smile played on his lips. He pushed her bokken away easily with his and pressed toward her. She was now on the defense. It took every skill she'd learned to continue to deflect his blows. Sweat beaded on her brow, and ran down her back. Saito had yet to break a sweat. She clenched her teeth together and gave him a feral smile. She ducked under his swing, rolled and came up behind him as he spun to meet her. He was ready for her, and caught her wrist before her bokken struck his right side. His own lay across her throat.   
  
"Your eyes give you away. Guard your thoughts better."   
  
Panting to catch her breath she stepped back and bowed to him. He'd gone easy on her. He was fast, but she'd seen him move faster. She'd never expected to beat him, but she was proud to have lasted as long as she did.   
  
"You went easy on her." Souji strode forward a gleam in his eye.   
  
"Souji," Hijikata scolded. "Only you can match Saito unless he holds back."   
  
"A good teacher knows when to push their student. Aimi-san fought well. It was an honor to observe." Iba bowed with a bright smile. "I see why you chose her, Toshi."   
  
"What? Are you mocking me again?" Hijikata's cheeks turned rosy.    
  
"I should be going, but you'll be seeing more of me now that my position brings me to Kyoto often."   
  
"What? You don't have to keep coming here." Hijikata seemed flustered. He wasn't a man used to showing other men the same kindness Iba showed him, but he seemed to enjoy Iba's company. "Come, I will see you out." Hijikata looked expectantly at Aimi.   
  
"If I may, I'll join you."   
  
Saito nodded. "Our lesson is concluded."   
  
She bowed to Saito and Souji. Then walked with Hijikata and Iba through the compound.    
  
"I must admit I was surprised to see not one, but two women in the Shinsengumi."   
  
Hijikata's eyes widened. "Two?"   
  
"Well, Chizuru..."    
  
Hijikata's grimaced.    
  
"Oh, is that a secret? It's apparent when you look at her that she is a girl. It's not her fault."   
  
Hijikata sighed. "Anyone with half a brain would notice. She has her reasons for dressing as a boy."   
  
"How long has Yukimura Kodo-san been missing now?"   
  
"How do you know her father?" Hijikata stopped short and narrowed his eyes at Iba.   
  
"I visited Yukimura Clinic as a young boy. I was interested in western medicine at the time. Chizuru was very young then. It's clear she doesn't remember me. I didn't want to add to her burden by mentioning it."   
  
"She might be happy to have a friend from her childhood. Or were you not very close?" Aimi asked.   
  
His smiled fondly. "She was a very lonely child and I looked out for her. I admit as a young boy she was the first girl I had any interest in. She was maybe five or six at the time, and I wasn't much older. She appears to be happy here, I shouldn't like to cause her grief."   
  
"I think she would welcome your friendship." Aimi smiled brightly at his surprised expression.    
  
"And is your interest in young Chizuru still more than just a friendship?" Hijikata gave him a smug look.    
  
"Now who's mocking who? No, Chizuru is a sweet girl, but someone else has caught my eye." Iba smiled warmly at Aimi.    
  
"Whoever she is, she's a lucky girl." Aimi pushed down the sharp twinge in her chest. The same twinge she experienced when Hijikata tied her obi with practiced ease.    
  
"I hope she thinks so. We met only recently, it's far too soon to make my intentions known. What of you Toshi, when are you and Okoto-san getting married?"   
  
Hijikata shook his head. "I ended that arrangement. After taking the role of Vice-Commander, I swore I'd never marry. A wife is a weapon to use against me." His eyes were hard, his jaw clenched as he held her gaze.   
  
Aimi's heart sunk like a stone. She didn't expected the sting of tears, hadn't she cried enough the week before? She found it difficult to draw a breath.    
  
"I'm sorry, I just recalled I promised Kondou-san I would join him for tea after my session with Saito-san. I should go change. Please forgive my rudeness. Iba-san, it was a pleasure to see you again." She bowed and hurried off before her tears fell.   
  
The dam on her tears broke as soon as she shut her door. She dropped to her knees and pressed her hands to her eyes trying in vain to stop the flow. What a fool she was to still care for him. He was no different than Saitani. Hijikata gave no offer of marriage, she'd assumed that herself. For all her training, she knew nothing of men and their ability to twist words. The fault was hers. She wanted so badly to belong, that she trusted too easily and too deeply. She'd been regretting her decision to join the Shinsengumi. If she hadn't, maybe Hijikata wouldn't have pushed her away. Now she realized she'd made the right choice. He'd never meant the attraction between them was of a permanent nature.     
  
She wouldn't beg, she wouldn't press him. She accepted his decision as final. Her tears slowed with each piece of wall she built around her fragile heart. She let him distract her from the search for her family. She was now in a position to find clues to who her father was. She pulled the things from her trunk, and pressed the knot in the wood, lifting the spring in the false bottom. She took out the prints. One of her father, or so she was told. It was faded, and Aimi feared too dated for anyone to recognize him now.    
  
He had a gentle smile, and a warmth in his eyes. Aimi imagined he was a good man, and would have been a loving father and husband. She felt the loss of love all too keenly. Perhaps that was why she fell so quickly for Hijikata? When he smiled he reminded her of her father. There were no similarities between them. Her father wasn't especially handsome. His face had a gentle grace, but not the sculpted perfection of Hijikata's. But the warmth in their eyes when they smiled made her feel safe, wanted. She sighed and returned it to the drawer at the bottom of her trunk.    
  
The other was her mother. Aimi stared into her mother's smiling eyes. The love she saw shining there made her heart ache. Aimi sucked in a breath. How had she missed that all these years? Her father had painted the portrait of her mother. Her eyes held the same light as when she spoke of her father all those years ago. Her mother mentioned her father was an artist. Aimi had taken her charcoal stick to the walls of their small living room. Instead of scolding her for marring the walls, her mother scooped her up and held her close. She told her how her father was an artist, and how proud of her he would have been.    
  
Fresh tears fell. These for her parents, who had loved each other so deeply. But whose love wasn't enough to keep them together. Aimi bit the inside of her cheek. Love. She grit her teeth. Aimi put away her mother's picture. Love was for fools. Love didn't put a roof over a head, or food on the table. What did she need of love now? She had a position within the special forces charged with protecting Kyoto, the Imperial city! She could now look for her father, or her family. And if she never found them, she would have money to see her through. She would forever be grateful to Hijikata for the faith he had in her abilities, just as she was grateful for Saitani. Her years at Shimabara made her stronger, and enabled her the job she had now. Aimi wiped the tears from her cheeks. Her new perspective on her life made the tears seem foolish.   
  
"Aimi-san, are you awake?" Chizuru's soft voice called from the door. "Are we still going to the market for dinner supplies?"   
  
Aimi bit her lip and took a deep breath.    
  
"I'll be ready soon. I'll meet you in the common room." She crossed to the mirror. Her eyes were swollen and red from crying. She dipped a cloth in the cool water in the pitcher, and pressed it to them. When she was satisfied the swelling had receded enough to go unnoticed. She changed into her simplest kimono and added paint to her lips. Satisfied her eyes wouldn't give her away, she went to meet Chizuru in the common room.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just when things can't possibly be any worse, Aimi runs into the one person she has tried hard to avoid. Takeda won't be swayed, he's been stalking her for weeks. Ever the opportunist, he sees Aimi as the leverage he needs to increase his power and position within the Shinsengumi.

Hijikata's office door was closed as she passed it. She noted his voice and Kondou's. She cringed realizing the lie she told to excuse herself. She bit the inside of her cheek. It didn't matter. Hijikata didn't want the burden a woman created, he was likely grateful to be spared her dramatics. Aimi slid back the door to the main room and stopped just inside.  
  
Takeda sneered down at Chizuru. Her face was pinched and pale.  
  
"There you are. I've been looking for you everywhere." Aimi interrupted, pretending to be exasperated with the boy's antics.  
  
"I'm sorry. I was looking for the list." Chizuru hung her head, but gave Aimi a grateful smile.  
  
"Perhaps I can be of assistance?" Takeda asked.  
  
"Oh I'm sure you have much more important business to attend to. I'm only going shopping for dinner ingredients. The heat makes keeping things fresh impossible. I asked Yukimura-kun to join me since he helps with preparations."  
  
"I've concluded my business for the day. A woman shouldn't go out into the streets of Kyoto alone. I will escort you."  
  
Chizuru's eyes grew wide. "You want to join us?"  
  
"You misunderstand me, boy. I will escort Miss Okita. Now run along, I'm sure you have other chores you've slacked on."  
  
Chizuru stared wide eyed at Aimi, and then at Takeda. "But I was told..."  
  
"And I've given you other orders. Do you intend to defy me?"  
  
Chizuru swallowed loudly. "Um..."  
  
"It's all right Yukimura-kun, I'll be safe with Captain Takeda." Aimi wondered the lie didn't stick in her throat. She'd avoided him since the incident at the tea house. She wished one of the others would walk through the door and come to her rescue. "Do you have the list?"  
  
Chizuru held out the parchment. She bowed and turned on her heel and bolted for the door.  
  
Takeda leered at Aimi. "Shall we?"  
  
Aimi gave him a small smile. "Yes, I don't imagine it should take long."  
  
She managed not to retch when his hand touched her lower back as he steered her toward the entrance. She resisted the urge to toss a searching look behind her, and silently prayed someone would find them soon.  
  
While they walked, Takeda was content to let her prattle on about the items she was looking for. When he led her down a side street in the opposite direction of the market she grew nervous.  
  
"I seem to be turned around? I'm not familiar with this section of town."  
  
Takeda shrugged. "A shortcut. We will be there soon."  
  
Aimi dug her nails into the palm of her hand. The streets he guided her down were all but deserted. She tried to recall the turns they took, but feared if she tried to run she would find herself hopelessly lost.  
  
"I think it's this way." Aimi hoped to circle back to one of the busier streets and took a left into a narrow side street between two dilapidated buildings.  
  
"You don't know Kyoto well, do you?" Takeda smirked at her.  
  
"I'm not from here, so no." Aimi hated admitting she couldn't find her way back. "Are we nearly there? I don't hear anyone."  
  
"No, this alley is always deserted." Takeda gripped her arm. "We have unfinished business."  
  
"I don't understand?" Aimi feigned ignorance.  
  
"Where is the sultry geigi from the tea house?" He pulled her closer. "I don't believe you are Okita-san's sister. Tell me, what sway do you hold over Hijikata-san and Kondou-san? Or is it just your charms that have turned their heads?"  
  
"I'm Okita Aimi, youngest daughter of Okita Katsujiro..." Aimi continued detailing the family tree Souji made her memorize.  
  
"And just who is your mother?" Takeda smirked at her.  
  
"My mother was a geigi. My father gave her a tanto that had been passed down for generations. Souji has the other of the set. When I was old enough to know the truth she introduced me to the family." Aimi took a deep breath. "Okita Rintaro determined her documents and claim were legitimate and added me to the family registry."  
  
"You are very good at recalling the details. But you're an actress, nothing more. If you were truly the youngest daughter of such a prominent house, Okita Rintaro-san would demand you return to Edo and enter a marriage agreement advantageous to the family. Not let you play soldier, unchaperoned, in the company of unmarried men." Takeda's eyes sparkled as he lit on the truth of her situation.  
  
"I'm not a helpless blossom. I lived with my mother's sister in Osaka until I was 15. I moved to Edo for a few years. My aunt grew ill and I returned to care for her. She passed only recently. After, I didn't want to return to Edo to marry. Souji and Hijikata-san have been kind in allowing me to work for the Shinsengumi while I'm here." Aimi sent a silent prayer of thanks that she hadn't tripped over the lie. "Rintaro and Mitsu have generously allowed me to delay marrying."  
  
"They need not trouble themselves about it any further. The Takeda family are vassals of Aizu. Okita Rintaro would be foolish to reject such an offer for you." Takeda nodded, pleased with himself. "An advantageous match for us both."  
  
"Please, what are you saying? I barely know you!"  
  
"So you wish to pretend ignorance?" He shrugged. "I'm happy to play along, but we both know it's all a careful manipulation. I've no doubt you've thought about me since the tea house." He pulled her close, staring into her eyes. "You needn't continue to protest, I know what you want." The grip he held on her arms tightened as he lifted her to her toes. He leaned in, his eyes fixed on her mouth. Aimi fought the bile rising in her throat at the thought of his sour mouth touching hers. "If you please me, I will even let you continue your farce of a position in the Shinsengumi. I prefer you in men's garb after all."  
  
She had to stall him. Surely Hijikata was on his way to save her? Chizuru would have run right to him, he wouldn't be far behind. Her mind latched onto the next thought and she blurted it out loud. "I'm afraid you're too late. I'm already engaged."    
  
"Aimi? I thought that was you." She peered around Takeda. Iba Hachiro stood at the end of the narrow alley. His face held a calm but intent expression, his hand rested on the hilt of his sword, ready to spring to her defense if needed.  
  
Aimi let out a silent sigh. "Hachiro! You've met Captain Takeda, haven't you?"  
  
Takeda released her and stepped back, his hand dropped to the hilt of his own sword. He sneered down at Iba. "We haven't been introduced, no." Aimi didn't doubt if he was unimpressed with who Hachiro was he wouldn't hesitate to draw on him.

"Oh! Then allow me. This is Iba Hachiro, Okuzume of the shogun. Hachiro is a good friend of Kondou-san and Hijikata-san. Well, all of them really." Aimi beamed at Iba, thankful he didn't correct her use of his first name.  
  
"Iba? As in Iba dojo?" Takeda raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Yes." Iba gave him a short bow.  
  
"And what brings you to Kyoto?"  
  
"My business with Aimi is personal. Her family and mine have been friends a long time. I've only returned from speaking with her guardian, Okita Rintaro." His eyes never faltered. The lie slipped easily off his tongue. He turned to her a slight smile on his face. "I'm glad I caught up with you. Did you forget I was coming today to take you into town?"  
  
"Oh! That was today? I thought it was tomorrow! I'm so sorry to have kept you waiting." Aimi smiled gratefully at him. She bowed low to Takeda. "I do apologize Captain, it seems I have a previous engagement. Please forgive me."  
  
Takeda narrowed his eyes at Iba. The hate rolling off him was palpable.  
  
Iba held his left hand out. "Come, my dear. They will wonder why we are late."  
  
Aimi took his hand and squeezed it. His grip tightened around her fingers, but his eyes never left Takeda's.  
  
"Another time then, Okita Aimi-san. Iba-san." Takeda gave them a curt bow and one last sneer toward Iba.  
  
They stepped aside as Takeda breezed past. When he was out of sight Aimi's knees gave out.  
  
Iba pulled her close, rubbing gentle circles against her back as she trembled in his arms. "Shhh, you are safe now. Are you all right?" His soft breath caressed her ear. His cheek pressed against the side of her head.  
  
She took a deep breath. "I am now." She rested her forehead on his shoulder. "Thank you. How did you find me? Did Chizuru tell you what happened?"  
  
"By chance; or perhaps Fate played a part. I glanced down a side street and saw you. At first I didn't think it was you, but some other careless girl. I thought I told you not to be alone with him." His reproach was gentled with the concern that strained his voice.  
  
Aimi shook her head. "I didn't have a choice. Chizuru and I were to go to the market. When I caught up with her, Takeda was grilling her over what duties she was shirking. When he learned we were leaving the compound he sent her off. No one else was around, they are all on patrol."  
  
She lifted her face and her heart leapt at the concern that clouded his sea green eyes. Her cheeks grew warm when she realized he still held her.  
  
"You've been crying. Toshi is a fool." He caressed her cheek and brushed the hair from her eyes.  
  
"Well, Takeda is enough to make any woman cry!"  
  
"That's not what I meant, and you know it. You rushed off earlier, hurt by what he said."  
  
Aimi shrugged. "I assumed he felt differently, but I understand. A man in his position places duty above all things. He's now my superior officer, any relationship would be against the Rules of Conduct. He wouldn't be the Demon Commander if he didn't hold himself to the same high standards as everyone else." She bit the inside of her cheek.  
  
Iba searched her eyes. "I apologize, I asked only to gauge his interest before I trespassed. It wasn't my intention to cause you pain."

Aimi studied his face, confused by his words. "I don't understand?"  
  
"Toshi and I have been friends for a very long time. I wouldn't wish to dishonor that by coming between him and a woman he cared for."  
  
"But, we've just met! You don't know anything about me!" Aimi sputtered, and pushed away, putting space between them. "The day we met I flirted to distract you, nothing more."  
  
Iba gave her a wide smile. "Did you think I was as gullible as that fool Takeda?"  
  
Aimi's cheeks grew warm. "No, of course not."  
  
"I enjoyed our tea, and your company, very much. I was sorry my prior engagement cut it short. I would like to take you out again."  
  
Aimi's mouth formed a silent O. Iba chuckled.  
  
"Consider it a thank you for allowing me to rescue you this time." His eyes shined with humor, and something she couldn't quite place.  
  
It was a small request on his part for what he had done for her. "I think I would like that, Iba-san." She bowed low.

"Hachiro, we are beyond formalities now." His gentle voice caressed over her. His eyes darkened.  
  
Aimi swallowed to wet her suddenly dry mouth. She lowered her eyes, staring at the small expanse of chest showing under his kimono. She would do well to remember the promise she made to herself.  
  
"Come, we should let them know you are safe. I'm sure Chizuru informed them of your situation." Hachiro took her hand and pulled her alongside him.  
  
He kept a enough distance between them that his body never brushed against hers, yet close enough to for Aimi to feel the heat of him beside her. Aimi's mind whirled, confused by how Hachiro made her feel. There was desire in his eyes. She was no stranger to seeing it. Yet there was a gentle patience behind it, rather than the fire she found in Hijikata's. Hachiro's touch awakened her in a different way. He was strong and yet gentle. He would give more than he took. As heir of a prominent dojo, he would have his pick of women. She'd be a fool to ignore his interest in her, but even greater of a fool to let it touch her heart. She wouldn't reject his kindness, but she wouldn't fall in love either. 'Love was a sentiment reserved for fools and peasants'. The head mistress of their school reminded her charges that daily. They were there to fulfill the destiny placed on them by birth. Emotions would only lead them into trouble. Aimi bit her cheek, she'd forgotten that lesson far too quickly. Still, was there any harm in exploring the feelings he stirred?  
  
Hachiro leaned close. "I wonder what placed that pretty blush on your cheeks? Thinking of me perhaps?" Her cheeks grew warmer and he chuckled.  
  
Before she could respond, the hurried slap of footsteps drew closer. Hachiro pushed her behind him, and gripped the hilt of his sword.  
  
"Aimi! There you are." Hijikata, Harada and Chizuru rushed forward.  
  
"Iba-san! What are you doing here? I thought she was with Takeda." Harada frowned at Chizuru.  
  
"Hachiro found me. I'm all right. I'm sorry if I worried you."  
  
Hijikata raised an eyebrow. "Hachiro?" He looked between the two. "Are you hurt?" His eyes narrowed on her, searching her face.  
  
"No, I'm not hurt. Nothing happened." She stepped from behind Hachiro.  
  
"Had I been any later, though, I've no doubt he would have forced himself on her."  
  
Aimi frowned at him. "I wasn't completely helpless."  
  
"No? How much longer could you have held your composure?"  
  
"As long as I needed to." She stamped her foot and glared at him. "You know nothing about me."  
  
Hachiro grabbed her shoulders and shook her. "I know you are reckless, and think you have every situation under control. Tell me, just how would you have handled him if he had?" He gripped her arms, pinning them at her side to show her how helpless she was.  
  
"Hachiro!" Hijikata yelled.  
  
Neither of them looked at him.  
  
Aimi stepped back, throwing Hachiro off balance. At the same time, her hands joined to form a large fist and she swung at his groin. The contact made him loosen his hold and she twisted her arm over his and grabbed his wrist pulling him sharply forward as she turned out of his grip. She struck him in the sternum with the ball of her hand. She rolled her other arm from his and pulled his katana from its sheath. The momentum of her spin drew it in one smooth stroke. When her back faced him, she slammed the hilt of his sword into his stomach. She stomped on his foot for good measure and stepped away. Hachiro doubled over still trying to catch his breath. Aimi held his sword out to him. Her teeth clenched tightly as she seethed at him.  
  
"Can you do that again? I'm not sure how you did that?" Harada asked. "I've only seen Souji and Saito-san move that fast."  
  
Chizuru held her hand over her mouth, her eyes wide as saucers.  
  
Hachiro blink in confusion as he stared at his sword in her outstretched hands. "How?" He looked from her to the others. He straightened and took his sword. He bowed low. "Not as helpless as you look." With a sheepish expression he sheathed his katana.  
  
Aimi shrugged. "I'd prefer not to kill a member of the Shinsengumi. But, if he attacks me, as you believe, I won't hesitate."  
  
"I'd prefer you not take the risk. Takada is an ass, but he's also a vassal of the Aizu. If he's harmed you, then he will be disciplined according to the Rules of Conduct." Hijikata's eyes held a hint of admiration as he stared at her.  
  
Aimi shook her head. "He questioned my connection to Souji. He doubts the validity of it. If I were a daughter of the family, I wouldn't be playing soldier, but entertaining potential husbands. I told him they were simply giving me time before I went to Edo to marry." Aimi's cheeks grew warm. "He then said he would make his own offer. I panicked and told him I was already engaged."  
  
"Damn it." Hijikata rubbed his knuckles along his jaw. "That complicates things. If he goes to your family and gains permission, I can't hold him to the Rules of Conduct."  
  
"You don't think they would accept him?" Aimi's eyes grew wide.  
  
Hijikata sighed. "Kondou-san and Souji only recently heard from his sister. Mitsu has demanded Kondou-san escort you to Edo as soon as possible."  
  
"When were you going to tell me?" Aimi's chest tightened at the thought. She'd barely gained her freedom, and now her guardian could legally strip her from it once more.  
  
"Kondou-san wrote a letter attempting to delay her. He told her he can't possibly return to Edo for another few months due to the current state of unrest."  
  
"That only buys me a few months, what happens after that? Will Mitsu take my feelings into consideration, or will she do as Takeda expects, and bargain me to the highest bidder?"  
  
"None of us here come from a house as prominent as Takeda's." Harada shook his head. "Except maybe Shinpachi, but I'd hate to see her wed to him, even if it was in name only. The only way to stop Takeda is to kill him, or find someone with more clout to offer for her."

"We can't just kill him. Aizu would send someone to investigate. We may not like him, but it's vassal's like Takeda that allow us to continue our work. They can speak to the big wigs and get them to listen. Hell, I should have sent you to Edo from the beginning. You woulnd't have met Takeda if I had."  
  
"What? Wait a minute. I didn't hear that right?" Aimi stared at the two of them. Their flushed faces looked anywhere but her. "You are actually suggesting that the only way out of this is by getting married?" Aimi balled her hands into fists. "I knew Souji's lie would bite me in the end."  
  
"Lie?" Hachiro's head snapped up. "Then you truly aren't Okita's sister?"  
  
Hijikata sighed. "No, not by blood anyway. Kondou-san intended to adopt her, but Souji took it upon himself to explain her reason for being here." Hijikata looked at her. "He can't make that offer now without raising suspicion."  
  
"I see." Aimi blinked back the tears. "Then I guess my adventure is over once more." She let out a loud breath and a harsh chuckle. "At this rate I'll never find my father."  
  
"We should discuss this at headquarters," Hijikata said.  
  
"I need to get to the market before they close. Yamazaki is expecting us to bring back stuff for dinner. This day is bad enough without upsetting everyone with a late dinner." Aimi gave them a weak smile. She had to have faith that things would work out in the end.  
  
"Now that you are in good hands, I will be going. You needn't fear Takeda, I won't let him have you." Hachiro bowed low, and sauntered off. He tossed a last comment over his shoulder. "Keep her safe for me, Toshi."  
  
Hijikata stared after him with a perplexed expression on his face.  



	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> During the Hamaguri Rebellion Aimi meets someone who reminds her of her mother.

The Choshu continued to harass the city of Kyoto. With the current state of unrest, war was brewing. Even the townspeople of Kyoto anticipated it. Kondou called everyone into the main room to announce that the Lieutenant-General requested the Shinsengumi join with their forces to push back the Choshu and guard the Imperial estate. To Chizuru's surprise, she was joining them. She'd told Harada and Nagakura she wanted to help if they were called, but she never expected to march alongside Kondou. He invited her himself.  
  
Souji and Heisuke were still recovering from their wounds sustained during the Ikeda Incident. They would stay at the compound with Sanan. Chizuru was gathering bandages and supplies. Aside from being a messenger, she would help with the wounded.  
  
Aimi entered the hall after returning from her patrol of the city.  
  
"It really looks like the Choshu are going to attack. Everyone is ready for it. Some are even leaving the city altogether," Aimi informed them of what she observed on the streets of Kyoto  
  
"You're back just in time. Change your clothes and grab your gear, we're heading out." Nagakura pointed at her feminine kimono.  
  
"No, you're staying here." Hijikata shook his head.  
  
"What?" A chorus of voices all rang out at once.  
  
"Yukimura is going, why not Aimi-san?" Heisuke asked pointing at Chizuru.  
  
"Sanan needs her here," Hijikata said.  
  
Aimi glared at him. Hijikata glared back. His hands on his hips. She mimicked his stance and squared her shoulders. The tension between them hung heavy in the air.  
  
"Why is it Chizuru can go, but I have to stay here?"  
  
"Because she's smart enough to stay out of the way and not let her mouth get her into trouble." Hijikata's jaw clenched.  
  
"Toshi, Aimi-chan will be leaving for Edo soon, but is that a reason to keep her here?" Kondou asked.  
  
"Is she not an officer of the Shinsengumi?" Saito asked. "Until her resignation is official, there is no reason to keep her from active duty."  
  
Chizuru nodded. If she were able to go, then so should Aimi. Aimi was far more capable of defending herself, than she was.  
  
Hijikata sighed. "I'm not gonna be the one falling on my sword when Mitsu loses her shit over her getting hurt." Hijikata jabbed a finger at Saito and Kondou. "It's on the two of you. Do you want that burden?"  
  
"Very well." Saito nodded.  
  
"I take responsibility for Aimi and Chizuru." Kondou scratched his chin. "In your headgear and scarf I think you'll pass as a young man. Do you still have your padded kimono?"  
  
Aimi's eyes grew wide, and a slow smile curled her lips. "Yes sir! If you'll excuse me, I'll go change." She bowed and back out the door, and rushed to her room.  
  
"You shouldn't encourage her, Kondou-san." Hijikata's voice pitched with exasperation. "She has a chance to get away from all this shit and live a normal life."  
  
Chizuru bit her lip. She wanted to put all this behind her and live a normal life, but Aimi was different.  
  
When they first came to the Shinsengumi and were both confined to their rooms, Aimi trained everyday. Even when they didn't allow her weapons. Chizuru always knew where to find Aimi when she was sent to deliver a message. She would be training with whomever was instructing that day. But it didn't stop there. She would train by herself, if no one was available. Kondou, Okita and Saito were the only ones who didn't discourage her.  
  
Chizuru wondered if Aimi would be able to put aside her blade and be happy running a household and raising children? Aimi was graceful, refined, and very elegant in her girl's clothes. Chizuru didn't think any woman could surpass her beauty when she was dressed so elegantly. But it was when she began working with the Shinsengumi, that her inner beauty really began to shine. She had a sense of presence and self-confidence about her. Could she find that same sense of purpose as someone's wife?  
  
Kondou and Hijikata were sending her to Edo to protect her from Takeda. The day Takeda took Aimi out of the compound alone, Chizuru ran to Hijikata and told him everything. She'd swallowed the lump in her throat and detailed the way Takeda watched her, trying to get her alone. And how he scurried off anytime one of the captains was within shouting distance.  
  
Chizuru hadn't seen Hijikata that angry since the day they interrogated her over what she and Aimi had seen. Even though his anger wasn't directed at her, Chizuru shrank back from it. He'd rushed out and grabbed the first person he'd found. Explaining to Harada along the way. Harada even scolded her for not saying anything earlier.  
  
Now they were sending Aimi to Edo. Okita's family agreed to take Aimi in as one of them, and requested Kondou escort her to Edo as soon as possible. If not for the increase in Choshu movements, Kondou would have taken her to Edo weeks ago.  
  
"I'm ready." Aimi's entrance drew Chizuru from her thoughts.  
  
The ninja stepping through the door looked nothing like Aimi. With the scarf and headgear, only her eyes were visible. She had lined them, altering the shape of them. Chizuru was impressed how much she looked like Yamazaki with longer hair around her face.  
  
"I suppose that will do. You better follow orders out there. This isn't the streets of Kyoto where you can charm your way out of trouble." Hijikata waved her off toward Saito and her division.

* * *

  
Aimi stood beside Saito while they waited. Sweat dripped between her shoulders from the heat, but she wouldn't complain. Saito wore more layers than she did, yet he never seemed to break a sweat. They were finally settled at the Aizu camp at Kujo Beach after hours of getting the runaround, thanks to a lack of communication between their superiors. This was little better than staying in Mibu, but at least with the reserves they had a chance to do something to help.  
  
At the Fushimi Magistrate Chizuru fought to hold her tongue. She was outraged over the treatment the Shinsengumi received by the officials of the Judiciary Commissioner's men. They were under the Kuwana Domain. While allies of the Aizu, their relationship was strained at best. The Shinsengumi could ill afford to cause trouble for Aizu by offending them. Aimi understood her anger. She'd nearly said something herself, but after standing up to Hijikata earlier, she felt it best to keep her mouth shut. Since the incident with Takeda, she felt he blamed her for how things turned out. She knew she was the victim in all this, but a small part of her wondered if Takeda would still single her out if she hadn't approached him at the tea shop months ago. Hijikata's harsh words at headquarters, suggested he felt that way.  
  
She looked his way and found him watching her, his jaw clenched. She lifted her chin and narrowed her eyes. She wouldn't cower, no matter how angry he was. His actions earlier didn't make sense to her, not as her commanding officer. He closed his eyes and let out a breath.  
  
She turned to Saito. "I will check our perimeter." She needed to feel like she was doing something. She didn't have Saito's endless well of patience.  
  
"Yukimura, go with her." Hijikata nodded in her direction.  
  
Chizuru jumped up and followed. Aimi slipped into the shadows and led them down stream. She found a shaded section of shore and knelt, scooping some water with her hands to drink.  
  
Chizuru knelt and did the same. "Um...Do you want to go to Edo?"  
  
Aimi let out a bark of laughter. The sharpness of it cut. "What? Who wouldn't want to get away from all this crap." She played it off but tears stung her eyes.  
  
"I thought you'd be happy there, you wanted to go before."  
  
"Kid, that was before. But, I guess not much has changed has it?" Aimi shook her head. "Guard your tender heart, if you don't, some guy will break it."  
  
Chizuru stared at her hands. "His heart is broken too. It's why he's been so mean lately."  
  
Aimi shrugged. "I doubt he has a heart to break. Men put women in three categories, there's family, the kind you marry, and the kind you have fun with. Since he swears he'll never marry..."  
  
Chizuru stared into her eyes. Aimi sighed and shook her head. She couldn't leave the girl thinking what lay before her was worse than fighting to survive each day. Chizuru was already confused enough by it all.  
  
"I may not like it, but a woman has a duty to her house, just like a man does. I grew up in a school that trained girls for marriage into noble families. Everyone there knew the end goal was to be a wife. That getting married was their job. This..." She waved at the camp behind them. "All of it was a diversion. It was fun while it lasted, but I gotta grow up sometime." She ruffled her hair and gave her a bright smile. "If I'm lucky, my...husband...will let me come back to Kyoto to see you."  
  
Chizuru threw her arms around her. "You're like a sister to me. I hate that you have to go. I wish you could stay and be happy. I wish Hijikata-san..."  
  
Aimi held her tight. "Awe, kid, don't cry or I'll start and that won't be pretty." Aimi lifted Chizuru's chin and wiped her tears. "It will be alright. It's not what I wanted, but it's not like I didn't know it was a possibility since I was a little girl." Aimi never thought she'd be in a position to marry. She was an orphan without a clue to her lineage and didn't have to worry about her family choosing her husband. Becoming a dancer, and later a nurse were admirable alternatives. It was also why she thought someday she'd marry for love.  
  
"Are you really going to meet the shogun?"  
  
Aimi's shoulders slumped. "That's what the letter from the family said. The shogun demanded an introduction to see if I'll make a suitable bride." She grimaced. "I don't know who, only that it isn't Takeda. Anyone is better than him." Aimi bit her cheek, unless he was old and fat, and had no teeth. Aimi blinked back the tears again. Why couldn't they have at least told her his name? The not knowing frightened her.  
  
"We better continue checking the perimeter and get back. Hijikata-san has enough to deal with without us adding to his burden." Aimi stood and lifted Chizuru to her feet. "Hey, cheer up kid. It could be worse. It could be you going off to get married to a stranger."  
  
Chizuru gave a pained laugh. "That would be terrifying."

* * *

  
The boom of a canon broke the silence of dawn. Chizuru jumped to her feet, her eyes wide as saucers. Aimi envied her ability to sleep through the commotion of camp. She herself had little sleep that night.  
  
"Well, looks like you missed your chance to sleep in my lap, Aimi." Sano nudged her shoulder.  
  
She shook her head at him and laughed. "I'll go to my grave filled with regret, good sir."  
  
Over the weeks Sano and Aimi had moved past the awkward stage of his interest and found a strong bond of friendship. That, and he had found someone.  
  
"Still, Masa would be jealous." He grinned at her. "Don't pine for me, Aimi. My heart belongs to another." His eyes took on a dreamy look as he thought of her.  
  
"I'm crushed you know. To think someone turned your eyes from me so easily." She pretended to wipe a tear. "Don't die out there today, I don't want to take Masa news of your death." Sano's division was the rear guard. If they were forced to retreat, he and his men saw the rest of them away safe before retreating themselves. His position was possibly the more dangerous of them all, aside from those who first rushed onto the battlefield.    
  
"I wish you weren't leaving, I think the two of you would become good friends." Sano patted her shoulder.  
  
"Well, now's not the time for goodbyes, we've to teach some rebels some manners first." She winked at him and rushed to join Saito. Hijikata led Souji's Division. While Kondou added Heisuke's men to his own.    
  
"Stop!" An Aizu soldier yelled out.  
  
Hijikata turned on him with a glare. Over the last day, Hijikata had let Nagakura do the yelling for him. He kept his cool, and treated each official with civility and respect. He'd clearly reached his limit. "Did you just tell me to 'stop'?" His voice cracked like a whip and the man shrunk back. "You may be content to sit on your fat ass, but my job is to stop the Choshu from attacking."  
  
"But we don't have orders to join the fight."  
  
"Orders? If you had any honor you'd forget about orders and do what you signed up to do!" Hijikata whirled on his heel and marched off.  
  
Aimi couldn't help but smirk. "So long boys, too bad you can't play today." She tossed them a mock salute.  
  
The man closest to her sputtered, his eyes wide with surprise.  
  
Saito thinned his lips and gave her a sharp look. She bit the inside of her cheek. She may have dressed like a man, but her voice was decidedly feminine. Oh well, it's not like it was a secret, just not something they chose to flaunt. There were a lot of men who opposed the idea of women fighting.  
  
Aimi'd like to think the Aizu soldiers were spurred to move because they wouldn't let a woman show them up, but she admitted Hijikata's words affected them even before she taunted them. She'd watched the ranks as he barked at the officer and more than half stood or reached for their gear before he stopped speaking.  
  
They found the Hamaguri Gate and stopped short. The signs of battle left its mark in the ruined gate, as well as the blood and bodies still littering the ground. What they didn't see, however, was their enemy. Saito, Yamazaki and Sano rushed off to learn what happened. Chizuru covered her mouth and nose with her arm. Aimi wondered how a doctor's daughter could have such an aversion to the sight and smell of blood.  
  
It wasn't long before Saito returned with news. The Choshu had been driven back. Sano reported there was fighting still going on at the Kugo Gate. But before Hijikata could speak, Yamazaki returned with news of his own. The Choshu fighting at Hamaguri Gate had fled for Mount Ten'nou. Aimi looked toward the mountain. What purpose did they have in retreating that direction?  
  
A smug smile lifted Hijikata's lips. "Looks like we have our work cut out for us, boys. Saito, Yamazaki, I want you to find out what happened here. Your job is to guard Hamaguri Gate."  
  
"Yes sir"..."Got it." They both answered at once.  
  
"Your job is a tough one, Chief. I know this is a bitch but we need you to speak with the Aizu bigwigs about a punitive expedition."  
  
"Yes. Of course."  
  
Aimi understood what Hijikata was asking of him. It was likely that Choshu rebels would escape to outlying areas. Without permission from the Aizu the Shinsengumi wouldn't be able to leave Kyoto without consequences. Hijikata sent Inoue and Takeda with him. Takeda gave him a smug smile and followed Koundou.  
  
"Harada, take your men to the Kugo Gate and take care of those Choshu bastards. Aimi, go with them." His eyes narrowed. "I expect you to follow orders."  
  
"You got it, boss." Sano spun on his heel and marched off with his troops.  
  
Aimi stared at Hijikata. She couldn't see why he'd allow her to join where they were actually fighting.  
  
"Well? What are you waiting for? Go on." Hijikata gave her a slight smile and jerked his head toward Sano.  
  
She rushed off after him. She wasn't going to stick around long enough for Hijikata to change his mind.  
  
The battle at Kugo Gate was still undecided. A number of Aizu soldiers from Hamaguri Gate fought with Choshu rebels. Sano ordered her to stay to the edges of the fighting. She glared at him, but he shrugged and rushed into battle ordering his men to follow.  
  
"If you want into the Imperial estate you gotta go through us first." Sano stood his ground in the midst of the fray.  
  
"Damn it! Is that the Shinsengumi?"  
  
"Damn right it is. If any of you are looking for a glorious death, then come at me!"  
  
The Choshu ronin attacked, but was soon cut down by Sano's spear. The battle resumed, but with the help of the Shinsengumi it was clear the Choshu were at a disadvantage. They muttered curses and broke off, retreating from the field.  
  
"Don't let them escape!" An official ordered.  
  
Aimi realized she was in the direct line of their escape and pulled her katana.  
  
"Hey, hey now. You don't want to do that." The familiar click of metal sent a chill down her spine.  
  
Aimi turned to see a man holding a gun at her. A cock sure grin split his face. She was unable to tear her gaze from him. There was something familiar about him.  
  
"I hope you feel honored, because you get to play with me for a little bit." He shifted the aim of his pistol. A crack of thunder echoed as he fired over her head toward the Aizu soldiers behind her.  
  
"Heh? Didn't my pistol scare you?" He looked at her and grinned.  
  
"How kind of you to play with us, but don't you think it's a little unfair you're the only one with a gun?" Sano drew closer, but at this distance Aimi worried he was still at an disadvantage.  
  
"Really? Naw, seems fair to me, besides you've got that big pig sticker there."  
  
In a flash of movement Sano attacked, his spear aimed right for the strangers head. He leaned away at the last moment.  
  
"You seem to want to play, but what kind of man charges someone with a gun?"  
  
"Keeping a toy to keep others from playing isn't very warrior like of you."  
  
The stranger grinned. "I'm Shiranui Kyo, or Mr. Shiranui to you. You may introduce yourself as well."  
  
Aimi's heart slammed into her chest. Kyo! She knew that name. Her breath caught in her throat as realization dawned. Her mother's eyes stared out from his face, under the same blue-black hair the three of them shared. He was her mother's younger brother, he had to be. Who else could share such a strong resemblance?  
  
"I'm Harada Sanosuke, captain of the Shinsengumi's 10th Division." His loud voice boomed out drawing her from her thoughts.  
  
The two faced off, warming to the challenge the other offered. Aimi was uncertain what to think. Neither man showed any malice toward the other, as if this were just another sparring match to see who was the superior warrior. Sano was fast, Aimi knew his skill with a spear surpassed anyone with a sword. Not even Souji, or Nagakura wanted to fight him if armed with his spear. But against a gun? Did he even stand a chance?  
  
Aimi couldn't just stand idly by while Sano put his life in danger. And if this man were her uncle, she couldn't let Sano kill him before she had answers.  
  
"I think that's about enough boys, don't you?" Aimi held her own pistol in hand. Cocking the firing mechanism with a decisive click.  
  
"Aimi! I told you to stay back!" Sano's eyes were wide with concern.  
  
"Ah, I see, the princess has her own pistol." He grinned at her and shifted the aim of his gun. "This was just getting fun and now you want to play too?"  
  
"Well, not really, you boys can take care of yourselves, but you see...." Aimi hesitated and sent Sano an apologetic smile. "You look just like my mother."  
  
"Huh? What the hell, princess. If you're trying to screw with me I'll end you right now."  
  
"Aimi?" Sano lowered his spear. "Are you sure?" He looked between them and rubbed his knuckles on his jaw. "Well, damn. You guys have the same eyes, and..." He tilted his head. "You might be right."  
  
Kyo shrugged. "I was told I look like my mother, but she died when I was like.... I don't know... three or four? Sorry kid, but you're mistaken."  
  
Aimi shook her head. "Your mother? No that can't be right. She said her little brother's name was Kyo....I'm sure she..." Aimi bit down on her tongue at the anger flashing in his eyes. Her mother had hesitated to answer who Kyo was. Had she lied to Aimi? "What was her name?"  
  
"No way, I could say any name and you would just agree. Look, I don't need more family, sure as hell not some crossdressing princess."  
  
"Aika...My mother's name was Aika." Aimi pointed at her katana and wakizashi. "She gave me these just before she died. Said they would help me find my family."  
  
Shiranui ground his teeth together and stepped toward her. Aimi lowered her gun, she had to trust her gut instincts that he wouldn't shoot her no matter how angry he was.  
  
"You're lying!" He held the gun to her head, his eyes cut into hers like daggers. Aimi held his gaze.  
  
Sano's spear came up, ready to defend her.  
  
She put her hand up. "No, stop. He won't hurt me." Aimi didn't look away from Shiranui  
  
The flicker of respect in his eyes told her she made the right call. "How do you know, princess?" Shiranui reached for her wakizashi.  
  
"Because you know I'm telling the truth. I can sense it." Aimi bit her cheek. She didn't know how to explain it, but she could read him as easily as she could read Chizuru or Sen. She just knew they weren't her enemies the first time they met.  
  
His eyes narrowed as he studied the etching on the blade. He lowered his pistol and shook his head. "I still think it's just a lie to get me to back off, but you've got guts, princess. I'll give you that."  
  
Aimi looked behind him. "Looks like your friends got away. You accomplished your task anyway."  
  
"Heh? Well, I guess you're right. I still don't buy it. My mother was murdered when I was a boy. How do I even know this was hers?" He scratched his head as he stared at her. "Maybe you and I do look a little alike." He held out his hand. "Give me the scabbard, I'm taking this with me."  
  
Aimi untied the scabbard and held it out. The hardness of his eyes kept her from pressing him. She wanted answers.  
  
"You get a pass today, but next time I won't go easy on you, Harada. Or you, Aimi is it?"  
  
Sano stepped between them. "Fine by me, I have plenty of friends, but I could use a good enemy. Let's save the fun for later, eh?"  
  
"Maybe this time, but I'm not the kind of guy who enjoys the anticipation, if you know what I mean." Shiranui turned and sauntered off in the direction of the retreating Choshu. "I'll see you around, princess."  
  
Sano tapped Aimi on the head. "You can't keep doing such crazy things, you worry me you know?"  
  
"I'm sorry, but..."  
  
Sano let out a sigh. "I get it. But damn. If he's your family then that really makes this a shitty situation for you."  
  
Aimi bit the inside of her cheek. "Yeah. Um..."  
  
"I'd keep this quiet, but there's no way you can explain losing a sword."  
  
"I...Let's just not mention how he took it at gunpoint. Hijikata-san is already angry enough with me."  
  
"It's not you he's angry with."  
  
Aimi snorted. "Sure has a funny way of showing it. I'm the one he snaps at. If I'm not the cause then..." She turned from him. "Doesn't matter I'm leaving in a week anyway."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next half is coming soon. Chizuru runs into Kazama again and Aimi has to explain to Hijikata the events at Kugo Gate.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chizuru rushes off to Moutn Ten'nou with Hijikata after the fleeing Choshu rebels. She runs into a familiar face, one she's not sure she wanted to see again or not. After the dust clears Aimi must face Hijikata and explain the events at Kugo Gate.

(Chizuru)

Chizuru rushed to keep up as they marched hurriedly down the road to Mount Ten'nou. Despite the distance, the men never slowed their pace. A head of them a figure stepped out into the middle of the street. He was shrouded in shadow, and gave off a menacing aura. Chizuru slowed, unsure of what she felt.  
  
Hijikata seemed to sense the danger and called everyone to a halt. One man failed to stop. He was either too eager, or hadn't heard the command. In a flash of steel he screamed and crumpled to the ground. The stranger stood over him a feral grin curved up his lips.  
  
"What the hell is this?" Nagakura rushed to the man.  
  
He lay unresponsive, and the pool of blood beneath him widened and seeped into the street. Chizuru covered her mouth and nose with her sleeve. Her eyes wide as she watched the man's life ebb away.  
  
"Ah, judging by the coats, you would be the Shinsengumi. Imitating the forty seventh ronin, how boorish."  
  
The men seethed at the stranger. Each man glared daggers at him, clearly wanting to avenge their fallen brother.  
  
"Hijikata-san! He was the man at Ikeda Inn," Chizuru blurted it out.  
  
"First you get in my way at Ikeda, and now you run around playing the good guys. The peasants haven't had their fill of defeat? Oh, but excuse me, you aren't even samurai are you? Turn back now or you'll be coughing up blood like your friend here."  
  
"So you're the swordsman from Ikeda that beat Souji. I heard you were good...but those are pretty big words for such a little man."  
  
The stranger was thinner than Hijikata, but not much shorter. He wasn't phased by Hijikata's insult.  
  
"If this sorry display is the best you have..." He laughed at the dead man at his feet. "The man, Okita was it? He is far too weak to be considered a real swordsman."  
  
Hijikata bared his teeth.  
  
"Hey, insult Souji all you want, but you'll tell me why you killed this man. If I don't like your answer, I'll kill you right here." Nagakura glared at the stranger.  
  
"Hrmph. The shogunate says jump, you ask how high. Why are you chasing men who've fled the battlefield? They've gone to Mount Ten'nou to take their own lives."  
  
Chizuru couldn't hold her tongue. His words made no sense. Had he killed a man so those who fled could retain their honor? Was all of this over pride?  
  
"Is it right to kill a man to protect the pride of another? How can anyone have pride if another has to fight for it? How can someone have pride if it is up to another to decide the value of it? Isn't it on them to decide?"  
  
"Hmm--you're sentiment has some truth to it. Are you saying I should let the Shinsengumi pilfer the pride of the Choshu just to gain themselves some merit?"  
  
"Um, that's not what I said, but..." She swallowed the last of her argument when his crimson eyes bore into hers.  
  
Hijikata sneered at him. "And here I thought you were trying to make a point, but you're just whining like a petulant child. This is war, idiot."  
  
"What?"  
  
Chizuru flinched back at the hate that flowed from a single word.  
  
Hijikata berated the Choshu for starting a war and then fleeing it. In his eyes a true warrior doesn't flee a battle because things don't go their way. The Choshu were little more than dogs running away with their tails between their legs.  
  
"They are spineless traitors. You think a man like that deserves an honorable death? They'll die with their guts where they belong and their heads in the dirt."  
  
Such a death would trap their souls forever.  
  
"So they should have been prepared to die for their cause?" The stranger glared at Hijikata.  
  
"Isn't dying for your cause more honorable than falling on your own sword?"  
  
Chizuru had a sense of how Hijikata viewed honor. A man should stand for what he believed, willing to defend that against all opposition, even when it meant dying for it. She admired him for it, and understood why he and Aimi had grown close. Aimi, too, held the same belief. She nearly gave her own life to protect Chizuru. She was willing to die for a stranger, because it was the right thing to do. At the same time, though, she couldn't see any of them committing suicide because things didn't work out their way in battle.  
  
Hijikata drew his sword. Nagakura dropped to a fighting stance. Hijikata offered a few harsh words and Nagakura stepped back, sheathing his sword.  
  
"You don't look like a coward to me, so I figure you're ready to finish what you started when you killed one of my men." Hijikata leveled his sword at the man.  
  
"Big words for a small man. Do you honestly believe you can defeat me?"  
  
The two clashed, sword ringing against sword. They sprung apart and attacked again. Nagakura pulled his sword and glared at the stranger.  
  
"No, Nagakura you can't!" They had a mission. If this man succeeded in delaying them, the Choshu would escape to the mountain.  
  
He hissed but sheathed his sword again, watching them battle back and forth.  
  
"Hey, Hijikata, I'm taking your men with me for a while, if that's alright with you."  
  
"Go on big mouth, their yours Shinpachi."  
  
"Right, everyone we march on Mount Ten'nou, don't stop until you get there, no matter what."  
  
Hijikata stepped in between the stranger and his men.  
  
The man lunged at him cursing. "Get the hell out of my way." The force of his blow pushed Hijikata back, leaving an opening for the stranger to go after Nagakura.  
  
Chizuru's knees locked and she drew her sword. She couldn't hope to defeat him if he was the one who bested Okita, but she could buy them a few moments. The high pitched clang of steel rang out and she was knocked back. The hit blindsided her. When the world came back into focus she stared at the pointed end of a sword. Blood ran down her cheek.  
  
Had he slashed her face?  
  
"That kodachi...a familiar sight indeed." He titled his head. "Do you realize what's happening? The wound on your face is already beginning to heal."  
  
Chizuru gasped and slapped a hand over her cheek.  
  
His crimson eyes widened. "Who would have thought I'd meet another of us here, and a female Demon no less...Tell me girl, what is your name? How did you come by this kodachi?"  
  
Metal flashed over her head, and the stranger parried the blow in front of her.  
  
"Get away from the kid!" Hijikata lunged at the stranger, forcing him back from her.  
  
"You bastard, stay out of my way!"  
  
"I'm the one you're fighting. Or is your sword only used on kids? Didn't take you for a bully."  
  
"How dare you, you shogunate bitch!"  
  
"Yukimura, get the hell out of here."  
  
She rolled away and to her feet, racing after Nagakura.  
  
"Hijikata-san, you better be right behind me." She called over her shoulder.  
  
His mouth turned up in a grin. "Just who the hell do you think I am?"  
  
"Hijikata Toshizo! The Demon Commander." She smiled at the smirk on his face, and turned to catch up with Nagakura.  
  
He'd been behind her, she didn't think he saw the cut on her face. She touched it now, and found it healed. Each step away the stranger's words echoed in her mind. 'Demon', 'One of us'. It was all she could do to run to Mount Ten'nou without turning back for answers.  
  
She collapsed beside Shimada. Nagakura took most of the men and continued up the mountain pass.  
  
Darkness was closing in on them. She worried for Hijikata. Shouldn't he have caught up by now? Was he injured? Shimada seemed to sense her thoughts and reassured her. Everyone would be all right.  
  
She still couldn't shake the doubt from her heart. She wanted to go back and look for him, she had to know he was okay. No sooner had she stood than a shadow covered the ground in front of her.  
  
"Hijikata!" Chizuru slashed at the tears on her cheeks. He didn't look injured.  
  
"Commander! You're back, and without a scratch!" Shimada grinned, unable to contain his relief.  
  
Hijikata scoffed. "I'd hoped we'd have a real fight, but we barely got started before some Satsuma guys stuck their noses in it."  
  
"What? Why were the Satsuma there?"  
  
"Seems he's part of the Satsuma His name is Kazama Chikage."  
  
"If he's with the Satsuma Domain then..." Chizuru frowned at the news. It didn't make sense, the Satsuma were their allies, at least she was under that impression. Why had he opposed them if the Choshu were his enemies? "Did Kazama disobey orders then?"  
  
"The men who broke up the fight were just as confused as you. I guess he's a big shot with them, and they know they can't push him around. I doubt any of them would stand a chance against him." Hijikata groused about Kazama trying to teach him a lesson on pride.  
  
Chizuru bit her lip, both men had strong feelings on the subject.  
  
The shuffle of footsteps on the dirt road had them on their feet. Nagakura came into view with his soldiers marching behind him. Their expressions were grim. Each Choshu ronin had committed suicide before they arrived.  
  
"Honorable suicide, eh? Good for them." Hijikata gazed out at the mountain, a slight smile on his lips.  
  
"I don't understand?" Chizuru expected him to be angry.  
  
"As far as the Shinsengumi goes, this doesn't look good on us. They succeeded in their mission, which means we failed ours. What good would it do me to ignore what they did? Friend or foe, a man who dies with honor deserves at least some respect."  
  
"I guess that makes sense." Chizuru didn't understand though, how could taking one's own life be honorable? As a doctor's daughter she'd valued life and done everything to prolong it.  
  
"If you stay with us a little longer you might get it. Aimi gets it, ask her if you still have questions." His eyes sparkled when he spoke of her.  
  
Nagakura and Shimada smiled and nodded in agreement. Was that why they respected her? Not because of her skill, but because she held their same beliefs? Hijikata once said she had a warrior's heart. Was this what he meant? Still, she didn't see Aimi as one to just give up and kill herself. She might fight with out fear, but she understood when to strategically retreat. Suicide was reserved for those who needed to regain lost honor, was a loss in battle really a justification for such measures?  
  
Chizuru contemplated the days events on their return to the Imperial estate. The loss of life saddened her. That the Choshu leaders took their own lives just seemed like a waste. What did they hope to accomplish? Was it a statement to their resolve that their views were right? Chizuru still didn't understand how men who claimed to support the Emperor regaining control could justify attacking the Imperial estate and kidnapping him.  
  
They returned to find the southern part of the estate on fire, along with the southern end of Kyoto. Choshu rebels that fled the battle had set fires behind them. The southern end of the estate was reduced to ash before the blaze was contained. As a result many Imperialists were sentenced to death by execution.  
  
The battle was called the Hamaguri Rebellion. Due to a breakdown in communication the Shinsengumi spent much of the battle waiting. When they finally entered the fray they all met several strong opponents. Kazama Chikage, the man who defeated Okita at Ikeda, claimed to be from the Satsuma Domain. Amagiri Kyuju, the man who shattered Heisuke's head guard at Ikeda also claimed to be part of the Satsuma. Aimi and Harada were up against Shiranui Kyo, who'd fought alongside the Choshu.  
  
Whomever they were, it was clear they weren't allies of the Shinsengumi. The three could easily become some of their greatest enemies. Chizuru hoped they would never have to meet in battle, for if it came to that, the casualties would be severe.

* * *

(Aimi)

Some of the Shinsengumi who witnessed the confrontation with Shiranui, remarked on the resemblance between him and Aimi. She ignored their speculations. Only the inner circle was privy to the details. Hijikata waited until the fervor died down, and everyone was back on patrols before calling her into his office.  
  
"Excuse me," she called at the door.  
  
"Yeah, come in."  
  
She slid back the door. All of the captains were there along with Yamazaki and Shimada.  
  
Chizuru looked up from pouring tea and smiled.  
  
"You all know what this is about. This Shiranui guy." Hijikata leveled a steely gaze at Aimi. "You and Harada claim he's related to you?"  
  
"Might be related to me? I'm not sure. I guess it's possible. The resemblance is uncanny. He's like a male version of myself, taller, stronger." She shrugged. "My mother never talked about her family at all. Except for Kyo. She was on her death bed and asked Kyo to forgive her. When I asked who Kyo was, she acted like she hadn't heard me. I didn't think she would tell me at first. She said he was her little brother and she regretted not living long enough to see him become a man."  
  
"So he's your uncle? Any idea how to get in touch with him?" Nagakura asked. "We send her to him and she won't have to worry about Takeda-san."  
  
"No, can't let her do that. He's with the Choshu, and right now they are enemies of the shogun, and the court," Hijikata said.  
  
"He claims he doesn't have a sister named Aika. That Aika was his mother's name. She was murdered when he was a boy and the family wakizashi was stolen then. Which is why he demanded it from me."  
  
"With all of you there, he just waltzed up and demanded it?" Hijikata's tone was sharp. He wouldn't settle for less than the truth.  
  
Aimi looked at Harada, his expression was drawn. If Hijikata asked him, he wouldn't lie. He wasn't capable of lying.  
  
"Well, you see..." Aimi detailed their encounter. From the moment he stepped between her and the others, to taking the sword from her at gunpoint.  
  
"You should have shot the bastard."  
  
Aimi lifted her chin. "You sent us to stop them from attacking. You didn't command us to kill them, or chase after them. Should I have killed the only person who might have a clue to my past?"  
  
Hijikata ran a hand over his face. "Would have made my job easier if you had. But I guess that's not your style is it?"  
  
Aimi clenched her jaw. "Have I failed to follow orders?"  
  
Hijikata ground his teeth together. "You dove in without thinking. You could have been hurt or worse."  
  
"I should stand by while others around me die because I might get hurt?" She ground her jaws together. "I'm not going to do that. I've accepted the danger, and I'm willing to die for what's right. Why is that expected of everyone else but me?"  
  
"You forget you're a woman."  
  
The room grew silent.  
  
"It comes back to sex. I'm a woman and should remember my place? With all due respect, commander. Go to hell." She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him. He glared back, the veins in his neck bulged, displaying his anger. "I don't carry this katana for show. Or is there a different code for women samurai?"  
  
"I was wrong to give you this job. If I hadn't, you wouldn't be in danger. Takeda isn't going to just leave you alone. The bastard is careful, calculated, and patient when he wants to be. If you hadn't have interfered you wouldn't be his target."  
  
"I disagree, Hijikata-kun. Takeda-san is an opportunist. He was aware of her presence before her induction into the Shinsengumi. She might have delayed this by ignoring him in the tea shop, but I fear he would have found a reason eventually. The only fault you can lay at her feet is her gender, but you were the first to argue for her placement here." Sanan shook his head. "Have you changed your mind because her skill is lacking, or is your judgement clouded by your feelings for her?"  
  
Aimi gaped at Sanan. He was the last person she expected to stand up for her. He was vehemently against her inclusion from the start.  
  
"Won't matter what skill she has. Her going to Edo may put an obstacle in his path, but if he's got revenge on his mind, it won't matter who she's married to."  
  
"It's far too late for regrets, commander. This lecture is pointless. In two days I'm out of your hair, and you never have to be bothered by my presence again. If you're finished insulting my honor and integrity, I have packing to see to." She bowed only enough to incline her head.  
  
She didn't wait to be excused, nor did she bow to any of the others. How dare he drag her in there just to yell at her for being a girl. She didn't want to go to Edo to be married, but hell she didn't want to stay here either. Hijikata made that impossible.  
  
Aimi packed all but the items she would need during the next two days and for travel. She finished altering the kimono she promised to Chizuru and carefully wrapped it in linen. Someday Chizuru would be free of the Shinsengumi, and would wear dresses once more. Aimi hoped they would still be friends after all this.  
  
Dread weighed heavy in her stomach. No matter how much she pushed the thoughts away, she knew going to Edo was a bad idea. But so was staying here. Each choice she had made her skin crawl. She hoped the dread she felt was only her fear over the unknown, because she no longer had a choice in going to Edo.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aimi is preparing to leave Kyoto. She has one last day to do what she wishes before she must say goodbye to those she cares most about.

September 1864

The end of the Hamaguri Rebellion saw more unrest in Kyoto. The recruits from Kyoto and Osaka were helpful, but not enough to lessen the burden of the extra patrols required to keep peace. Kondou sent Heisuke to Edo to scope out potential recruits. Kondou asked him to escort Aimi to Edo, and her family.   
  
They were leaving in the morning. Her things were packed and already on their way to the ship that would leave with the tide at midday tomorrow. She made her way into the garden. Nagakura and Saito were there, along with a handful of soldiers.   
  
"Oi, Aimi didn't think you'd stop by today since you're leaving us tomorrow." Nagakura grinned at her. "Grab a weapon."   
  
Saito pinched his lips together. "You aren't required to train today. You could go into Kyoto for the day instead."   
  
"Are you forbidding me from joining?"   
  
His eyes widened slightly. "No, not at all. I simply suggested you could use your time as you wished."   
  
"Then I 'wish' to train." She grabbed a bokken from the rack and tested the weight of it. Spinning it in her hand.   
  
Saito bowed. "Very well."   
  
"All right!" Nagakura lifted his fists up in excitement. "Pay attention kids. Aimi-san, you feel ready to take me on?"   
  
She took a deep breath. She'd not fought him one on one. Usually three or four of them went up against Nagakura because of how hard he fought. He held nothing back, even during training. Even going so far as to break bones when his blows landed undeflected.   
  
"Why not. An opportunity like this won't come along again."   
  
"Now see boys? That's the warrior spirit talking. I'm easily twice her size. She'll never match me with strength, but she's not going to let that intimidate her. Even the strongest fighter has a weakness. You find it, and you've won your fight."   
  
He bowed to her. "When you're ready." He dropped to a fighting stance, narrowed his eyes, and prepared for her attack.   
  
She drew in a breath and set her stance. She knew most of his favorite moves by now. The ones he used to gain an early advantage, and mentally prepared her counter options. In her mind she saw the first three moves he would make and what it would take to deflect them. If she was right, the fourth move would leave him open on his left side.   
  
She made the first move, feigning to the left. He caught her bluff in time to deflect her strike, and countered as she expected. Her fourth swing landed against his ribs with a dull thwack, pulling a grunt from him.   
  
The soldiers around them cheered. Nagakura grinned at her.   
  
"That's my girl. Too bad it's the last hit you'll get in."   
  
He pressed the offensive, and she barely had time to form a plan as blow after blow cracked against her bokken. She pivoted on her heel and tried to bring up her bokken to strike under his sword arm, but he was ready for her. His bokken struck downward, landing across her shoulder and chest, narrowly missing her collarbone. The force of the blow knocked her back and she lost her footing.   
  
A roar cut the silence. Before she could get to her feet, Hijikata stood between them.   
  
"What the fuck is this?" He stood with clenched fists, yelling at Nagakura.   
  
"I'm fine commander." Aimi rubbed her shoulder to ease the sting.   
  
Hijikata didn't seem to hear her and continued berating Nagakura. "In a real fight that blow would have killed her."   
  
"Whoa, whoa, aren't we supposed to treat each match as a real battle? How can they learn to defend against a killing blow if they don't practice against them?"   
  
"What the hell is she doing here anyway. She's leaving tomorrow." He turned to her. "Hell, you should be in town, shopping or having tea."   
  
"I asked to join. It's my last day. This is what I wanted to do." She brushed the dirt from her hakama. "So if you'll step aside this match isn't over."   
  
"The hell it isn't. I want Yamazaki to look at your shoulder."   
  
Aimi rolled her shoulder and moved her arm in a circle. "I'm fine, nothing is broken."   
  
"And it's going to stay that way." He turned to Nagakura. "Spar with someone closer to your own size."   
  
Nagakura gave him a wide eyed look. "Hey, now, you've never had a problem with my training methods before. You know I don't push unless I know they can handle it." He pointed his bokken at her. "She's better than you give her credit for. Ask Souji if you don't believe me."   
  
Aimi moved to the rack and grabbed another bokken. She glared at Hijikata's back. "I assume you are joining our training, commander."   
  
He turned and she tossed the bokken at him. He caught it easily, scowling at it, and then at her.   
  
"If you're not going to get out of the way, then you must want to play as well." She dropped into a fighting stance.   
  
A collection of gasps echoed around the courtyard.   
  
Aimi and Hijikata glared at each other. Somewhere in the back of her mind a voice told her to back down and let him save face in front of the soldiers, but her pride wouldn't let her. He'd insulted her one too many times in the last few weeks. She'd much rather go down fighting than admit she was in the wrong.   
  
Saito stepped between them. "Stand down, lieutenant, that's an order."   
  
She let out the breath she held. "Very well." She straightened and flipped her bokken, holding the handle out to Saito. She bowed low. "Another time then, commander."   
  
Hijikata clenched his jaw, and inclined his head. "I will let Yukimura-kun know you'll be helping him with dinner preparations tonight."   
  
Aimi bit the inside of her cheek and narrowed her eyes at him. Her hand clenched into a fist. The smug bastard hadn't just insulted her, but regulated her to kitchen duties as punishment for daring to stand up for herself. She bowed and gave him a sly smile.   
  
She turned on her heel and strolled toward her room. "I hope you've a strong stomach, commander." She didn't intend to 'do' anything to his food, but he didn't know that. Would he risk eating or decide to skip the evening meal? She glanced over her shoulder and smiled at the color in his face.   


* * *

  
"Hey, kid. What can I help with?"   
  
"Oh, er. Nothing really."   
  
"You sure? Hijikata-san sent me here to help you out tonight. Arrogant bastard thinks he's putting me in my place."   
  
"He, er, well, he said you weren't actually supposed to help with dinner."   
  
Aimi couldn't help but laugh. "I guess he's worried I'll make good on my threat. You can relax. I wasn't planning anything, really. I'm just--well I'm not a very good cook. It's not something they spent much time on at school, you know? The families of the girls all have servants, and cooks to handle that stuff. I know how to keep the larder stocked and delegate tasks to those skilled enough to do them."   
  
"Really? You don't know how to cook?"   
  
Aimi shrugged. "I know a few things, enough to keep myself alive if I need to, but this..." She waved a hand to the pots, and fish Chizuru was filleting. "I don't have a clue. I can cook rice and that's about it, the rest of what I know are Western dishes."   
  
Chizuru put down the knife in her hand and stared at her. "Are the foods really different there?"   
  
Aimi nodded. "They eat a lot of breads and cheeses, they cook vegetables differently and use different spices. And coffee..." Aimi sighed. "I sure do miss coffee, and cake and sausages, Oh, and bacon and eggs." Aimi curled up her nose. "I didn't eat a lot of fish there, I don't know that I will ever get used to eating it at nearly every meal." Aimi reached for the basket of vegetables. "At least let me take care of the vegetables. What do you want to cook tonight?"   
  
They chatted over preparations, Aimi watched as Chizuru created thin slices of fish and prepared them for sashumi. Aimi blanched. She barely liked cooked fish. She'd rather eat escargot than raw fish. Just as dinner was being served, Yamazaki called Chizuru away, leaving Aimi to finish setting up the trays on her own.   
  
Aimi arranged the dishes on the trays. Souji leaned on the door frame, a curious smile on his face.   
  
"Heard you had it out with Hijikata-kun again."   
  
She shrugged. "He interrupted a training session with Nagakura. I didn't want to give up without getting at least one more hit before he out scored me."   
  
Souji chuckled. "I would pay a month's salary to see you two squaring off. I can't believe I missed it."   
  
"Didn't do me any good. Hijikata is determined to remind me I'm just a woman. So here I am, fixing his dinner."   
  
Souji's laughter grew louder. "So where is Chizuru?"   
  
"Yamazaki-san had a task for her. She didn't want to leave, but since the food was already prepared she didn't have a reason to stay, not when I can serve the dishes." Aimi smiled at the tray. "Looks good doesn't it?" She'd artfully arranged the pickled ginger into rosettes, garnished with pickled daikon leaves, and placed them at the center of each tray.   
  
Souji shrugged. "Seems like a lot of work to me. Chizuru doesn't make it look so fancy. This isn't Sumiya's."   
  
"Poor Souji, he may come from a distinguished family, but he was raised in barn." She tossed him a smile and winked at him. "Would it kill you to say something nice?"   
  
"It might." He gave her a wolfish grin. "Things won't be the same after you leave."   
  
"Naw, things won't change around here. You guys will still have ronin to deal with and keeping Chizuru's secret." She placed the last rosette and turned to him wiping her hands on a damp cloth. "And you'd better be fully recovered the next time I see you. If you aren't, I'm dragging your sorry ass back to Edo myself for Mitsu to take care of."   
  
Souji grimaced. "I'm fine little sister, you worry about you." He helped her stack the trays and carried half of them out to the hall. "We better get this served before it gets too cold to eat."   
  
Aimi smiled sweetly as she placed the tray of food before Hijikata.   
  
"Where's Yukimura?" he asked.   
  
"Yamazaki-san called them away. I apologize for the delay. I was left to serve on my own."   
  
He eyed the tray suspiciously. Aimi sat between Kondou and Nagakura with her own tray of food and tried to ignore Hijikata throughout diner.   
  
"Are you not eating, Toshi?" Kondou asked.   
  
"I'm not very hungry."   
  
"Oh, then if you don't mind..." Kondou reached for his sashumi.   
  
"Wait!"   
  
"Is something wrong?" Kondou asked.   
  
Aimi lifted a brow at Hijikata and smiled widely. "You may have mine, Kondou-san. I'm not very fond of sashumi."   
  
Hijikata's stomach chose that moment to growl.   
  
"You better eat, Toshi. Can't have the Vice-Commander setting a bad example for the rest of them."   
  
Hijikata blanched at his tray.   
  
"Oh man, this is too funny. You should see your face, Hijikata-kun." Souji couldn't contain his mirth any longer. "It's perfectly safe. I watched her serve it." He laughed so much he had to wipe the tears from his eyes.   
  
Saito's lips curled in a smirk, and Nagakura slapped her on the shoulder.   
  
"Best revenge is no revenge at all, am I right Aimi-san?" Nagakura said.   
  
"I'm sure I don't know what you mean." Aimi smiled coyly over her tea before taking a sip. She set her tea down and picked up her chopsticks. She leaned over and plucked a piece of pickled ginger from his plate and plopped it in her mouth. "Perfectly safe, commander."   
  
Hijikata's cheeks darkened at the laughter echoing through the hall. He shook his head, and the corner of his mouth quirked up in a slight smile.   


* * *

  
Aimi stood near the gate of the compound. She and Heisuke were packed and ready to depart. Their ship left Osaka with the tide. They would have an hour to spare once they reached Osaka. Chizuru brushed at her eyes, trying to hide her tears.   
  
Aimi hugged her tight. "Don't cry, kid. I'll see you again soon."   
  
"Promise?" Chizuru asked weakly.   
  
"I promise. So that means I have to be all right to keep my promise." She ruffled her hair. Aimi reached into her bag and pulled out two packages. She handed one to Chizuru. "I promised this to you. I finished altering it for you. Maybe you'll find an occasion to wear it."   
  
Chizuru hugged it to her chest. "I won't open it here, but thank you." She bowed low, a warm smile crinkled her eyes.   
  
Aimi handed the other to Kondou. "My uniforms, sir. I won't have a need for them where I'm going."   
  
Kondou hesitated, his jaw clenched. "You should keep them, they're yours."   
  
Aimi shook her head. "I can't. I don't want to have to worry about someone finding them."   
  
He bowed and took it. "I understand."   
  
"And this too." Aimi untied her katana. She stared at it through tear filled eyes. "I think it will cause me trouble in Edo if I take it with me."   
  
"No. I can't take that from you. You will need your sword. A samurai would never give up their weapon."   
  
Aimi bit the inside of her cheek. "We both know I'm not really a samurai. This was all just a foolish dream. I'd rather not have the reminder." She blinked away the tears. "I'm forever grateful for everything, but we both know this is the way it has to be. You've done all you could to stop this from happening..." She thrust it at him. "Please, you must. If Shiranui Kyo returns give it to him."   
  
Slowly he reached out and covered her hands with his. "I will keep it safe for you." Kondou blinked his eyes rapidly.   
  
Aimi bent her face, if he teared up, she would start crying.     
  
"I apologize for Toshi. His anger is misplaced. He feels responsible for the trouble you're in."   
  
Aimi held up a hand to stop him from bowing. "I know your heart is in the right place, but he is not your responsibility. His actions were his own. I've seen nothing to suggest he feels responsible. He clearly blames me for all of it, and is relieved to have me gone."   
  
"It isn't easy for a man to admit when he's failed. A warrior protects those unable to protect themselves, and those they care about."   
  
"I never asked him to. I wanted to leave months ago. He..." He'd led her to believe he cared for her, but where was he now? She gave Kondou a bright smile. "It's what I wanted, it's for the best. The rest was, well, it was fun while it lasted. Thank you for the opportunity to serve the Shinsengumi, Chief Kondou"   
  
Kondou opened his mouth but closed it again. He nodded and inclined his head.   
  
"We best get going, our stuff is already on board, would really suck if the ship left without us." Heisuke bowed to Kondou.   
  
"I'll see you in a month, both of you. Take care of yourselves."   
  
"Take care of everyone for me, Chizuru." Heisuke bowed to her.   
  
Aimi hugged her one last time. "Try to stay out of trouble, Chizuru."   
  
"I will, I promise."   
  
Aimi tried to stop the tears stinging her eyes. She was grateful Heisuke didn't try to cheer her up. She'd start crying in earnest if he did.   


* * *

  
Chizuru waited until Aimi and Heisuke disappeared from her site. She brushed away the tears filling her eyes, but they refused to stop. It wasn't fair. Aimi didn't want to go. She'd given up everything which made her happy for a life she never wanted.   
  
Kondou stared at the katana in his hands. "I have a meeting at the Fushimi Magistrate, would you take these to my room for me?" He held out the katana and the package to Chizuru.   
  
She hesitantly took it. "I can't believe she left it here." How could she leave this life behind her? "Will she be all right without her katana?"   
  
Kondou placed a hand on her shoulder. "Aimi is a warrior, and a kunoichi. She doesn't need a katana to prove that." He tapped his temple. "She is a samurai here, and here." He touched a hand over his heart.   
  
"Thank you, sir." She bowed. "I won't keep you." Chizuru waited until Kondou rounded the bend before she returned inside. She drug her feet. She didn't want to accept that Aimi was gone. She padded quietly past Hijikata's room.   
  
"What are you doing with Aimi's katana?"   
  
She jumped at the harshness in his tone. "Oh! Er...She gave it to Kondou-san. He asked me to take it to his room." Chizuru lifted the package. "She gave him her uniforms too, sir."   
  
"She did what?" Hijikata took the katana and pulled it from its sheath.   
  
"She said she couldn't take it with her. That this was for the best and she didn't want anything to remind her of her time here."   
  
"Damn it." Hijikata snapped the blade into the sheath with a click. "Here, give me those as well. I'm the one responsible for them."   
  
"But..."   
  
Hijikata glared at her. "That wasn't a request."   
  
Chizuru bent at the waist. "Sorry, sir." She held out the package.   
  
He let out a loud breath. "I didn't think she would go. But this..." His voice was nearly a whisper, as if he forgot she was even there. "When did they leave?"   
  
"Um, I think about half an hour ago. Heisuke said they would barely make the tide if they didn't leave for Osaka."   
  
He squinted at the sun, his jaw clenched. "I have something to see to. Inform the captains returning from patrol that I will take their reports in the morning."   
  
"Yes, sir." Chizuru bowed. He turned on his heel before she straightened and hurried toward the entrance. The package with her uniforms was under his arm. Aimi's katana clenched in his hand.   


* * *

  
Aimi and Heisuke reached the docks barely in time to catch their ship. Dock workers and sailors scrambled to untie lines and adjust the sails. They were hurried up the gangplank shortly before it was pulled away from the ship. The tide was already retreating out to sea, and soon would push their ship out of the bay.   
  
Aimi's chest tightened, and she had trouble catching her breath. She was really leaving. She gripped the rail. She'd lied when she said she could put all this behind her. For the first time since she came to Japan, she'd felt at home in Kyoto, with the Shinsengumi. She would miss them all. She would miss training with Saito and Nagakura. She was just starting to hold her own against Inoue, and had beaten Heisuke twice. Though, she was sure he was holding back, afraid to hurt a girl.   
  
Only Saito, Nagakura and Okita took their matches seriously. She'd yet to beat either of them, but had surprised them a few times and landed a blow. She fought to win. Even though she couldn't score enough points to come out the victor, she'd taken pride in catching them all by surprise. In a real fight that small victory could mean life or death.   
  
Osaka was nearly as large as Kyoto, and was one of the main ports outside of Edo. She didn't recall the city from her arrival, but she had docked in Osaka and then traveled north to Kyoto. How different would her life be if she'd asked Saitani to take her to Choshu? Would she have met Kyo before his domain became enemies of the court?   
  
She bit her lower lip. It was too late for regrets. Wasn't that what she told Hijikata? It didn't matter what might have been, she couldn't change the past. Only the choices she made today mattered in the long run. She would focus on the immediate future for now, because thinking beyond the next week frightened her. She couldn't see what her future held anymore.   
  
Aimi sucked in a deep breath at the violet eyes she met at the end of the dock. She blinked away the tears filling her eyes. Why had he come? Why now, when it was too late? The ship was already pulling out to sea. Did he only come to ensure she really left? She thought that more in line with his character. He only cared to be certain that she was really out of his hair for good. Her hand clutched at her throat. They stood eyes locked to the others, his jet black hair flowing with the wind.   
  
"Hey, isn't that Hijikata-san?" Heisuke waved. "Oi! Commander."   
  
Hijikata raised his hand over his head, her katana clenched in his fist. In that moment she hated him. She wished they had never met. She would still be at Shimabara, but at least her heart wouldn't be broken and she wouldn't be heading to Edo to marry a man she didn't love.   



	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aimi arrives in Edo and meets Souji's family. She didn't know what to expect when their ship docked.

The ship to Edo was smaller than the one she came to Japan on. Her cabin was too small to do anything but change her clothes, and sleep. She spent her time on deck, ignoring the sharp look from the captain. He allowed it only because Heisuke accompanied her. A woman shouldn't travel alone.   
  
She'd been alone on her way to Japan for the first week. The companion the school hired to go with her grew ill the night before she set sale. Aimi wondered later if she only pretended to be ill to hide her theft. They'd boarded the ship together, and the woman left hours later. Leaving her alone. She'd been too frightened to think the sweet and generous soul capable of duplicity, but now it was obvious.   
  
Their current ship sailed along the coast, just far enough out to see the shore. Moving out to sea to avoid the shallows and then returning. Sailing was still a very dangerous way to travel. But it would take more than two weeks on foot. It was their last day, and they expected to arrive in Edo with the setting sun.   
  
"Did Hijikata-san ever..." Heisuke drew her from her thoughts.   
  
Aimi shook her head. "No, he never explained it to me. I..." Aimi bit her lip. "I was listening that night he spoke with you and Souji." She shrugged her shoulders. "It's okay, Heisuke, that's not what I'm angry about. I understand how difficult his position is. As the commander he must be above reproach. This is the easy way out for him. It's not his life that changes. That's what upsets me."   
  
Heisuke's eyes widened. "Still, I thought for sure..." Heisuke looked at the deck and shrugged. "I wish they would just kill Takeda-san. They could force him to commit seppuku for the things he's done."   
  
"Seppuku is too honorable a death for him. I don't care what they say. I won't ever marry him. One of us will die first." Aimi clenched her fist together.   
  
"Hey, don't do anything reckless. I'm responsible for you while you're here. Hijikata-san will make me spill my guts if you get hurt on my watch!"   
  
Aimi patted his shoulder. "It will be okay, girls get married all the time. I just have to trust everyone."   
  
Heisuke nodded. "You think Chizuru will be all right?"   
  
"You guys have gotten close haven't you?" Aimi smiled at the color creeping over his cheeks.   
  
"Well, yeah. She's a sweet girl. I worry about her. She's stuck with all of us guys, and made to act and dress like one." He shook his fist. "It isn't right, she should be wearing dresses and doing girl things..." He looked at Aimi. "Just what things do girls do when guys aren't around?"   
  
"Hmm, I guess it depends on the girl? Some like to paint, read, garden, go shopping, have tea with friends..." She shrugged. "They like theater, and music. It's not always about cooking, cleaning and tending to babies."   
  
"Oh, er, right babies tend to be a girl problem..."   
  
"A girl problem? You do know where babies come from, right?"   
  
Heisuke turned two shades redder. "I'm not a kid anymore."   
  
"Well, babies aren't just a girl problem."   
  
"Well, lots of times they are. Like my mom, the only thing my dad gave her was money. Now he sends it to me, so I don't make myself a problem for him."   
  
"I know what it's like to grow up without a father. I don't even know if mine knows about me."   
  
Heisuke shrugged. "It's no big deal, I think family is overrated anyway. I've got Sano and Shin, and Kondou-san now. And the other guys too. We are more like a family...Well, we were. Things are different now."   
  
"Things tend to change whether we want them too or not." Aimi let out a sigh, her life was about to change once more. Would she be able to accept the new path she was forced to walk?   
  
"Yeah..."   
  
They stood on the deck in silence until they reached Edo. Since it was nearing dark, Aimi asked if they could stay at an inn, rather than continue on to the Okita household. Heisuke agreed and found them a respectable place to stay. She wrote a note, and sent it off with a messenger. He was soon back with a reply. Okita Rintaro would come for her in the morning and escort his sister home. Aimi lay awake for hours, dreading what dawn would bring.   


* * *

  
Heisuke saw her off, and promised to visit once she was settled. He was off to Shiei Hall, and then to see to his duties. Rintaro told him he had a list of men who approached him about a position in Kyoto, and offered to recommend those he felt would be a good fit with the Shinsengumi.   
  
Aimi found Rintaro to be a kind and generous man. She was even more at ease around him once she learned he was a relative of Inoue. He himself had been adopted into the Okita family when Souji was just a toddler and too young to take on the role of the head of the household. Aimi bit the inside of her cheek. No wonder Souji resented him and his sister for so long. He should have been the rightful heir after all. But Aimi couldn't find it in her to resent him. He genuinely cared for Souji, and the way he spoke of his wife, showed he cared for Mitsu as well.   
  
Aimi asked him how things were in Edo? Hijikata mentioned he was the Chief of the Shinchōgumi, Edo's own version of the Shinsengumi. Things in Edo were much quieter than in Kyoto. While there were still crimes, and wandering ronin to deal with; his faction didn't have the constant plots against the Emperor to deal with. Their constant vigil made it difficult for the opposition to form numbers great enough to do little more than stir up trouble. They also didn't suffer the same stigma the Shinsengumi faced thanks to the behavior of Serizawa in their early days.   
  
Aimi wanted to tell him of her own dealings in Kyoto but held her tongue when he told her he was glad she was no longer in danger. He was only surprised to learn that Souji hadn't sent her directly to Edo months ago. Kyoto was no place for a woman to live alone. Aimi started to ask him, just what he thought of everything, but hesitated. They weren't alone. Rintaro arrived with a contingent of servants and a norimono to carry them through the city. The norimono was a larger version of a kago or litter. Long poles through the top were supported on the shoulders of the bearers while the occupants rode in comfort within. Aimi still found it unfathomable that wheeled transportation was outlawed. Even in the poorest areas of Europe people used carriages or carts to ease their burdens.   
  
Rintaro leaned close. "You needn't worry, Mitsu will honor her brother's decision, so don't be discouraged if she isn't always nice about it."   
  
"Oh. Erm..." Aimi didn't know what to say. "I'm very overwhelmed by all of this. I assure you, I didn't plan any of this."   
  
Rintaro patted her hand. "Be at ease, little sister. Mitsu is glad to have you. Our own daughter is looking forward to meeting her youngest aunt. She's just now 12, and believes herself all grown up."   
  
Aimi smiled. "I remember being 12. I wanted to be a famous dancer. I was going to tour the world. Life didn't turn out as I expected."   
  
"An ambitious dream! I hope Edo isn't too disappointing. We aren't as large as Kyoto, but close. We have a few theaters, and the festivals rival those in Kyoto."   
  
The norimono came to a stop and was lowered to the ground. Rintaro stepped out first and helped Aimi to her feet. She was grateful for his assistance. It gave her time to compose herself before meeting her new sister. Aimi wasn't sure what to expect of a woman who made Kondou and Hijikata nervous. Neither man wished to gain her ire.   
  
Mitsu and two children stood just outside the front door. Her steely gaze narrowed on Aimi, though her mouth turned up in a smile. Aimi saw the family resemblance immediately. Souji and Mitsu had the same eyes, and Aimi wondered if they shared the same sense of humor? She didn't look like a woman capable of instilling fear in the hearts of such capable warriors.   
  
"Welcome, little sister. We've been anxious for you to come home." Mitsu bowed and turned to her children. "This is our daughter, Kumeko and son Takanao." They bowed and gave Aimi warm smiles. "Our youngest son Kazuie, is napping."   
  
"You're prettier than Uncle said," Kumeko said.   
  
"Kumeko!" Mitsu scolded her.   
  
The girl shrugged. "I don't see what the problem is. I said she was prettier, I was being nice."   
  
Aimi smiled at her. "Our dear Souji is quite the kidder, I'd be surprised if he had anything nice to say about me." Aimi winked at her and the girl giggled behind her hand.   
  
"It seems Souji's influence lingers. The children and he were close before he moved to Kyoto." Mitsu darted a stern look at Kumeko. "Takanao, help your father with her things."   
  
Her trunk, and two bags were placed by the street. The norimono, and the men with it, were already gone, leaving only the family to become acquainted with each other.   
  
The boy rushed forward and took the offered bag. A huge grin on his face. He struggled with the weight of it as he waddled to the front door.   
  
"Thank you, Takanao." Aimi took her other bag, while Rintaro lifted her trunk.   
  
Takano beamed at Aimi. "I like to help. Father said if I show I'm strong enough I can go to Shiei Hall to train. I'm going to be a samurai like Uncle Souji!"   
  
"Your father is a samurai, too," Aimi said.   
  
"Yes, but Uncle Souji is better, father even says so. Nobody can hurt Uncle Souji."   
  
Aimi smiled at him. "Oh, I don't know. I managed to break his nose."   
  
Takanao jerked his head up, his eyes wide as saucers. "You did that? Uncle Souji said a hideous monster hit him."   
  
Rintaro laughed loudly. "Hence his unflattering depiction of your youngest Aunt, I'm sure."   
  
Mitsu's lip curled in a slight smile. "He always was too big for his britches. I see why he's fond of you."   
  
"Fond of me? Souji? On no, I'm sure you're mistaken. We argue constantly. I'm not a very good little sister, and can't seem to hold my tongue."   
  
Mitsu chuckled. "He said that as well, but I thought it more falsehoods."   
  
Aimi blushed thinking of all the things he had written them. And they still welcomed her into their home.   
  
Rintaro bowed at the door. "Welcome home, little sister. Kumeko, would you lead the way to Aimi's room?"   
  
"You're room is next to mine while you're here. I helped mamma get it ready." Kumeko cocked her head slightly. "I wish you were staying with us forever, but that man came to talk to father. I think he wants to take you away."   
  
Aimi stopped in her tracks. "A man? What man?"   
  
"Kumeko, you were supposed to be watching your brother, not snooping," Mitsu sternly scolded the girl. "You needn't worry about that today, let's get you settled first."   
  
Aimi bit her lip and nodded. She knew marriage awaited her when she left Kyoto. The joyous mood from earlier shifted. The weight of dread hung in the air. After showing her to her room, Mitsu left her to unpack. The soft sounds of a young child crying pulled her away. Aimi wondered the age of the youngest. Souji mentioned his niece and nephews, but not their ages. Kumeko recently turned 12, and Aimi guessed Takanao was seven, maybe eight.   
  
Aimi put her things away and wandered about the room. There were a number of lovely paintings on the walls, and decorative vases dotted the shelves. Aimi found a place for her brush and hand mirror. She left her katana with Kondou, unsure how her new family would feel about her possession of one. Her wakizashi was sorely missed. Shiranui Kyo still hadn't returned it to her. At least she had her knives and stars. These were hidden in the folds of her kimono. Her sensei showed her how to fashion the numerous pockets in easy to reach places. She didn't need to wear them here, but she felt vulnerable without them.   
  
After unpacking, Aimi peeked out her door and found Kumeko skipping down the hall.   
  
"Oh! I was coming to get you. Mamma said to call you to tea. I get to pour today." Kumeko bounced on her toes, excited to be allowed to join them.   
  
Aimi held out a hand. "Lead the way, I would be honored to have you pour tea for me."   
  
Kumeko grabbed her hand and tugged her down the hall.   
  
Aimi wasn't sure what to expect, she'd never been in a private home since her arrival. Aimi found their home charming and welcoming. Yagi Residence came close to being a home. Though, with so many men, it looked like a barracks. The rooms she and Chizuru occupied held little in the way of charm.   
  
Aimi bowed at the door. "Thank you, Mitsu-san, for your hospitality and generosity. I am humbled by your kindness."   
  
Mitsu studied her with a sharp gaze. "You see Kumeko, that is how a proper young woman greets her host." Mitsu patted the cushion across from her. "Come Aimi-chan, please join me for tea." Mitsu nodded at Kumeko. She bobbed a short bow and rushed to the tea pot. "Slow down child, you don't want to scald your guests."   
  
Kumeko's cheeks flushed, and she slowed her pace. She poured their tea under the scrutiny of her mother. Mitsu was firm, but kind and Kumeko flushed under her praise when she did something well. Mitsu waved her off to play outside in the garden with her brothers and father.   
  
"Now, we can talk frankly." Mitsu nodded.   
  
Aimi swallowed the lump that formed in her throat at Mitsu's sharp tone. Unsure what to say she simply nodded.   
  
"I wish to apologize for Souji's impulsive actions. This all could have been handled with more fineness." Mitsu frowned.   
  
"I am sorry, too. For the burden he placed on you. I had no idea what he had truly done, until it was too late to stop him."   
  
Mitsu waved her hand. "What's done is done. Kondou-san graciously explained the situation, and Rin and I both accept our role in this. I only wish Souji hadn't have drug our father into this." Mitsu frowned at her. "He did lie about that did he not?"   
  
"Oh, erm, yes. I only have a wood block print of my father, he looks nothing like you or Souji."   
  
"When I read Souji's first letter I thought he wanted us to look after his future wife."   
  
Aimi's eyes widened in shock. "Me and Souji! Oh, no..." She waved her hands in front of her. "He doesn't like me in that way."   
  
Mitsu tilted her head. "I think he might, or at least entertained the idea. Which was why his second letter was such a surprise. I expected to welcome a sister-in-law, not a sister."   
  
Aimi frowned over this information. "I care for Souji. Despite his twisted humor, he's a good man. Life with Souji would be a competition. And I'm sure his constant teasing would be too much to deal with." She hadn't missed the way he watched her during training. A calculating look in his eye beyond what was needed to assess her skill.     
  
Mitsu sighed. "That's my fault I'm afraid. When our parents died I was barely old enough to care for him. He resented Rin from the beginning. Father adopted him shortly before his death. Souji used to be such a well behaved boy, but with Rin, he would do the opposite of what was asked. He was constantly in trouble. The late Kondou-san suggested he start training, that it was boredom and jealousy that caused him to act out. At first I had him only go during the day, I wasn't ready to let him go. Soon after Rintaro and I married, Souji set fire to the garden while we slept. Rin couldn't scold him, Souji simply grew more defiant. So, Kondou-san agreed to take him in. Eventually, his resentment toward us eased, and we became close once more. But he felt the loss of his home."   
  
"I knew some of it, we spoke about his early days at Shiei Hall. I grew up in a private school also. My mother died when I was ten."   
  
Mitsu nodded. "He sees himself in you."   
  
Aimi smiled. "He said I reminded him of you before you married."   
  
Mitsu’s cheeks filled with color. "He said that?" She smiled to herself. "I was a bold one, still am, but Rin doesn't mind. I only hope Kumeko finds a man who accepts her, as mine did."   
  
"She's a beautiful girl, and still young. There's time for her to learn to temper her impulsiveness." Aimi's cheeks grew warm. Who was she kidding, she herself had yet to master that? "Though, it is something I struggle with daily."   
  
Mitsu chuckled. "I was worried about just who Souji was sending to me. But I am pleased to welcome you to the family."   
  
"Thank you, Mitsu. I am pleased to be welcomed. I will do my best not to disappoint you."   
  
The patter of feet running through the house interrupted their tea. It was close to time to prepare dinner and Aimi offered to help. She admitted she wasn't familiar with Japanese dishes, and would like the opportunity to learn. Mitsu seemed taken aback when Aimi said she couldn't cook. Aimi explained she was more familiar with Western foods. She offered to trade recipes with Mitsu.   
  
Over dinner they discussed her meeting with the shogun. The demand from the shogun was unexpected. While their family were vassals, they weren't lofty enough to require the shogun's approval when marrying within their social tier. In one week she would be presented for her introduction. Aimi hoped to have more time. She'd barely met the one who might truly be her brother before she was forced to leave Kyoto. Her life was moving too swiftly, and she feared it would soon spin out of control.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aimi learns the identity of her mysterious suitor. She's torn between her budding attraction to him, and the reality of being married to a near stranger.

Mid September 1864  
  
Aimi’s introduction to Shogun Iemochi was less exciting than she expected. Aimi was to show up, look pretty, bow elegantly and above all stay silent. He was a large man with a long white beard. His posture was relaxed almost bored, but his sharp eyes no doubt saw everything. She'd struggled to keep her head and eyes lowered. As Rintaro escorted her to her table she caught a slight smile tug up the corner of the shogun's mouth. Had she done something wrong? Her mind raced over what Mitsu drilled into her the last few days, she didn't think so. She was surprised to find she wasn't the only girl who was there for the same reason. There were a dozen families with daughters her age. Many were younger. Some of them were younger than Chizuru.   
  
Aimi couldn't recall what dishes had been served when Kumeko asked her. They all tasted like ash in her mouth. Each bite of food or sip of tea was another nail in her coffin. Mitsu was pleased with her performance. She had behaved perfectly. One girl had been so nervous she spilled her tea, which caused some of the others to forget themselves. Aimi wasn't sure how it would go for them. Would those little mistakes cost them and their families? It was all too much pressure for a young girl if you asked her. She sent a silent prayer of thanks for her training at Shimabara. Mistu and Rintaro, couldn't hide their pride as they told Kumeko how lovely Aimi looked. How elegantly she bowed before Shogun Iemochi. Aimi had her years of ballet to thank for her grace and poise. Aimi was just thankful it was over. If only she had it in her to fail. Her success meant her marriage was inevitable now. The thought of it was like a dagger to her heart.   
  
After her dinner with Shogun Iemochi. The next two weeks with Mitsu came and went in the blink of an eye. Aimi found herself busy with the children and household matters. She didn't mind, not really, she liked to stay busy. 'Idle hands are the devil's workshop'...Hadn't she heard that nearly every day from her teachers growing up? Being busy meant her mind wasn't free to wander. But with the night, sleep eluded her. She stared out the window. Counting the stars in the sky only distracted her mind a short time.   
  
Mitsu tested her each day, giving her tasks befitting the woman of a house. Aimi made subtle mistakes, and Mitsu was quick to catch them, but she was never harsh in her corrections. Aimi feared she would never learn the nuance of running a hatamoto's home. Worse yet, her heart wasn't in it. The last thing she wanted was to be married to a man she would never love.   
  
Aimi asked a few times about the caller Kumeko mentioned, but Mitsu and Rintaro shrugged off her questions each time. Mitsu implied Kumeko misunderstood what she overheard, and Aimi needn't fret over it. Which, of course, made Aimi more curious. Kumeko was a bright girl, with a knack for going unnoticed. Her penchant for sneaking aside, the girl was also honest to a fault. She'd yet to learn the subtleties of white lies, or full on falsehoods. If she said she overheard something, Aimi believed her.   
  
Thoughts of who arrived before her kept her awake. Aimi asked Kumeko what he looked like, but the girl shrugged. She'd not seen him, and hadn't heard him speak. She only knew of him because her parents discussed his visit afterward. Aimi sighed into the night. Those who knew of her were in Kyoto, not Edo, she couldn't begin to think of who he might be.   
  
Thinking of Kyoto brought a wave of homesickness. She missed the constant whir of voices and action around her. Edo was nearly as large as Kyoto, and there was no shortage of noise. But it was the men of the Shinsengumi she missed. In the months she stayed with them she came to think of them as family. Now, she feared, she would never be able to return to them. She imagined what Chizuru was up to. Since the Hamaguri Rebellion, she'd taken on more and more duties of a page, and also helped Yamazaki with the sick and wounded. Aimi had worried they asked too much of her, but Chizuru insisted she was happy to do all she could to repay their hospitality.     
  
Aimi stood from her window and opened the door into the garden. Each of the larger bedrooms opened into the garden as well as the house, and she could slip outside without notice. She drifted quietly into the shadows and to the furthest corner. There in the back she found space enough to train. That the corner was far enough to be unseen and unheard from the house made it the perfect spot. The seclusion of the garden soothed her, and she lowered her guard.   
  
She whirled at the snap of a twig. Her throwing star flew straight, and lodged in the tree beside the shadow moving her way. "That was a warning, I won't miss the next time."   
  
"I'm inclined to believe you." Rintaro's voice wavered and a chuckle left his throat. He tugged the star from the tree. "Does Souji know how skilled you are?"   
  
"Rintaro, forgive me. I thought you an intruder." Aimi released the tension from her shoulders with a breath. "I didn't think anyone was awake."   
  
"I had a late patrol and found sleep elusive. I come here to meditate when the day has been overly taxing."   
  
"Oh, then forgive me for intruding on your sanctum. I thought it an unused section of the garden." Aimi gathered her stars and began to leave.   
  
"No, no, stay. I'm far too curious to meditate now. I'm beginning to think Souji and Kondou-san didn't tell us everything."   
  
Aimi bit the inside of her cheek. "Just what did they tell you?"   
  
Rintaro shrugged. "That you were a geigi at Shimabara against your wishes, and they set you up in your own house. That you drew the eye of someone who won't take no for an answer."   
  
Aimi shook her head. "I'm afraid it's worse than that. But if Mitsu were to learn the truth, she'd be furious with them all." Aimi sat on a bench and took a deep breath. "I was at Shimabara against my wishes, that much is true. One of the women saw how unhappy I was and took it upon herself to train me in ninjutsu. I was delivering a message late at night when I was attacked by ronin. Souji, Saito-san and Hijikata-san were the ones who saved me. But under the circumstances, I was taken in for questioning."   
  
"I imagine so, a woman roaming the streets at night alone...I would have done the same."   
  
"Well, at the time I was dressed as a man. So er, yes, my behavior raised a number of questions, and I was placed under arrest."   
  
"I take it this was when you knocked Souji out?" Rintaro's wide grin set her at ease.   
  
"He deserved it." She shrugged. "He was tasked with guarding me. I wanted to escape. I nearly made it too." Aimi touched the back of her head.   
  
She continued to tell him her side of the story, leaving out the monsters they encountered, and that Chizuru was a young girl not a boy. She told him how she came to find a job with them, and of Takeda. She admitted his interest in her was her own fault. She'd underestimated him. She had no experience with men of his ilk.   
  
Rintaro frowned over her tale. "You're right, Mitsu would be furious with them. Though, I understand why they acted as they did. I was there in the early days, when they were still the Roshigumi."   
  
"I felt it best to hide this from Mitsu, no doubt it would cause her grief."   
  
Rintaro chuckled. "Mistu is more open-minded than you think. She may not have the extent of your training, but she's not a helpless woman."   
  
Aimi smiled at him. "She did confess to being a bold one."   
  
Rintaro laughter was soft and warm. "She's as fierce a woman as I've ever met. The two of you are cut from the same cloth I think." He clapped his hands on his thighs. "We'd best return to the house. The children will be up with the sun, I fear."   
  
Aimi bowed to him. "Thank you, I'm glad I don't have to hide this from you anymore."   
  
"Let's not tell Mitsu everything just yet, let me handle her."   
  
Aimi nodded. "I will leave the details to you, then. Good night, brother."   
  
"Good night, little sister."   


* * *

  
Aimi was busy in the kitchen when Kumeko rushed into the room. "Mother requests you join her in the main room. She asked me to bring the tea."   
  
Aimi let out the breath she sucked in at the surprise Kumeko gave her. The child moved soundlessly. Aimi dusted the rice flour from her hands, and took off the apron protecting her kimono. It had taken her all morning to get the recipe to turn out right. Rice flour wasn't as dense as wheat flour. The flavor of the pastries were close, but the texture was crisper. She fretted over them, but decided she was as close to the recipe as she was likely to get. She rushed to the room.   
  
"You called, sister?" Aimi stopped short at the figure standing with his back to her. "Hachiro! What are you doing here?"   
  
He turned and gave her a wide smile. He held his hands out to her. "I've been in Edo for a while on business. When I heard you were in Edo, I had to visit before returning to Kyoto."   
  
She rushed to him and took his hands. "Oh, I'm so glad you did."   
  
His eyes held her captive as he studied her. "You are well then?"   
  
"Yes, everyone here has been kind and generous. Tell me, how is everyone?"   
  
Hachiro focused on her cheek, humor danced in his eyes. "You have something on your...here let me." His fingertips caressed over her cheek and then the bridge of her nose. His touch sent a jolt through her that stole her breath. "There, I think that's it." His eyes softened and his pupils widened.   
  
Aimi pressed a hand to her cheek to cool the heat building there. "I was in the kitchen. It's probably flour."   
  
"So you do possess other talents." His grin told her it wasn't an accusation.   
  
"And just what talents are you referring to, good sir?" Aimi raised an eyebrow at him.   
  
"I only tease you." He released her hand and motioned for her to sit with him.   
  
It was then Aimi realized, Mitsu wasn't in the room. "Um, where is Mitsu? I thought..."   
  
"She went to find her husband. Okita-san and I have an important matter to discuss."   
  
"Oh, then you didn't come to see me." Aimi bit her lower lip and lowered her eyes. Why did that distress her so much. She barely knew Hachiro.   
  
His warm fingers were gentle on her chin as he raised her face to look at him. "I came to see you, I've worried about you since I last saw you in Kyoto." His thumb brushed over her lower lip pulling it free of her teeth. His eyes fixed on her mouth, and Aimi was certain he thought of kissing her.   
  
She should stop him, but she wanted to know if his kiss would send her senses reeling. She wet her lips, and let out a soft breath. His eyes met hers and held them, searching. He smiled slightly and leaned closer.   
  
"Iba Hachiro-san, welcome to my home."   
  
Aimi jumped back at Rintaro's announcement. Her cheeks warmed under his smirk.   
  
Hachiro stood and bowed to him. "Okita Rintaro-san, thank you. I was pleased to receive your invitation."   
  
"It's good you were able to come so swiftly. Time seems to be short. Come, we shall have tea in my office. Aimi, will you bring it?"   
  
"Oh, of course." She frowned at them as they left the room. Just what was so pressing he couldn't visit with her longer. And why did Rintaro have to interrupt them? She was certain Hachiro would have kissed her. She pouted on her way to the kitchen.   
  
"Is he not a friend of yours?" Mitsu asked, her brow furrowed with concern.   
  
"Hachiro? Yes, he's a friend."   
  
"Then what distresses you, child?"   
  
"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm being selfish, I was upset our visit was cut short. There is so much I want to ask him. It feels like ages since I left Kyoto."   
  
Mitsu smiled and let out a sigh. "You will have time for your questions later, I'm certain." She handed her a tray. "Here, before the tea steeps too long."   
  
Alongside the sweet bean jelly were Aimi's pastries. She bit her lip, unsure if she should take them. "Do you think it's a good idea to share these?"   
  
"I don't see why not. You made them to be eaten didn't you?"   
  
"Er, yes, by the family, I thought the children might like them."   
  
Mitsu turned her toward the door. "Go, you mustn't keep them waiting."   
  
Aimi called at the door, and Hachiro slid it open. He took in the tray of sweets and tea and beamed at her. She smiled shyly back at him, unsure of what she should say. She lifted the tea pot and poured each man a cup. Rintaro asked her to stay. She knelt beside the table, while they faced each other. She folded her hands in her lap and waited expectantly.   
  
Hachiro was the first to speak. "I assume everything is in order?"   
  
"It is, though I'm surprised by the timing of it all. We barely knew of her ourselves."   
  
"I apologize for the timing. The circumstances didn't allow for delays."   
  
"I understand completely. Shortly after we spoke the last time I received another proposal. I hope you are certain, because I'm afraid there isn't time to waste, now."   
  
Aimi felt the weight of their words and looked up. Did this have something to do with Takeda?   
  
Hachiro's jaw clenched. "I assure you, I've given the matter serious consideration. I've no reservations but one." He turned to Aimi. "Do you trust me?"   
  
Aimi tilted her head, trying to read his expression. "From the moment we met you have looked out for me. I trust that you will do all in your power to continue to look out for me."   
  
Hachiro relaxed and gave her a disarming smile. "I hope you always feel that way, but I know the news we are about to share will upset you."   
  
Aimi bit the inside of her cheek. "This has to do with Takeda, doesn't it."   
  
Rintaro was the one to answer her question. "Yes. Soon after you arrived I received a letter of introduction, and Takeda-san's offer of marriage. On paper he appears above reproach, and a suitable match. What his family lacks in money is made up with their connections." Rintaro shook his head. "I knew him only briefly when the Roshigumi first formed. Souji's letter reminded me of my first impression of him. Beneath all the charm was a cruel man. I see nothing has changed."   
  
"I can't marry him." Aimi rushed out.   
  
"I admit refusing him would cause trouble, that is, if not for Iba-san. His proposal has the approval of the shogun."   
  
Aimi stared open mouthed at Rintaro as his words sunk in. Her eyes snapped to Hachiro. "You didn't think you should ask me first?" Her voice was nearly a yell, the frustration of it all sent the pitch of it higher.   
  
"Aimi!" Rintaro's voice was sharp as he reprimanded her.   
  
She bowed her head, and hid the tears stinging her eyes. Of course he wouldn't have thought to ask her. She would have refused him. Her acceptance or refusal didn't matter. Houses such as theirs didn't marry for sentiment. Marriage was a business arrangement, and little more.   
  
"Forgive me, I am overwhelmed by all of this." She bowed her head low. "I trust that you have considered every option and defer to your judgement, brother."   
  
Rintaro placed a hand on her shoulder. "Is it Iba-san or the idea of marriage that upsets you, sister?"   
  
"Hachiro is an honorable man, but I fear he will come to regret his actions. I'm not a suitable wife for a man of his position." Aimi blinked back the tears, she wouldn't shame her family by crying.   
  
"I find you more than suitable." Hachiro took her hand and twined his fingers around hers.   
  
"And what about your family? Will they also find me suitable? You are required to entertain, and should have a wife who was raised from an early age knowing what is expected of her."   
  
"And did you not have this training in Europe?"   
  
"For a Western household, yes. But there are many differences, and I confess I am ignorant to the subtleties more often than not. I fear I would shame you, your house, and my own."   
  
"Those are easy enough to learn. Or do you wish to plead ignorance now?" Hachiro lifted her chin. "You are an educated young woman, and all too capable of playing whatever role is required of you. Do not shame your mother's memory by ignoring all she has done to prepare you for life."   
  
Aimi's eyes filled with tears as she stared into his eyes. "I understand what you're saying, but men like you don't marry women like me. You are the one making the sacrifice, not me. What happens when your family learns the truth? What do you gain by marrying me?" She shook her head. "I can't let you do this."   
  
"I'm afraid you're wishes in the matter are inconsequential. Iba-san already informed his family, and Shogun Iemochi gave his approval after your introduction."   
  
Aimi grit her teeth and kept her eyes downcast. If she looked at Hachiro now she would scream at him for being such a fool.   
  
"In their eyes you are already his wife. The rest is just a formality."   
  
"I understand your concerns, and I accept that this is against your wishes." Hachiro turned to Rintaro. "Might we have a word in private?"   
  
"She's your responsibility, now. All documents are in order. It is my honor to welcome the joining of our houses." He bowed to Hachiro. "I will inform Mitsu to continue preparations for the ceremony."   
  
Hachiro took her hand. "Come, let's walk through the garden."   
  
Aimi stood stiffly and followed. They'd decided it all before she even knew. Her protests were empty words. She tried to tug her hand free from his, but his grip tightened. When they reached the far corner he let her hand go and motioned to the bench. She crossed her arms over her chest and stamped her foot.   
  
"How could you?"   
  
"You know how this works. Only someone of a higher family would be able to circumvent Takeda. Did you really wish to be married to him?"   
  
"No! I didn't want to be married at all. I want to find my family. I want to have control over my life." She threw her hands up in the air and paced. "Since I left school, and even there, someone decided what my path was. I guess it was just a childish dream to think I would marry for love." She pressed her fist to her heart, where had that come from? She didn't believe love had a place in her life, not after the pain her parents suffered. Not after Hijikata chose duty over desire. For that was all it was, a flash of emotion too brief to carry them through a lifetime together. Love was a fools notion.   
  
"Do you not think we can grow to love each other?"   
  
Aimi sensed the pain in his question, but shook her head. "Love is a childish fantasy. A sentiment reserved for fools and peasants. It causes people nothing but pain." She turned to him. "I will honor the promise my brother made. I will be your wife in all ways but one. This will be a marriage in name only." She clenched her fist and stared at him, daring him to argue.   
  
"If that is what you wish." His eyes narrowed and he glared down at her. He sighed and his expression softened. "I expected your anger. Perhaps, in time you will feel differently."   
  
Aimi opened her mouth to tell him she wouldn't, but his finger pressed over her lips.   
  
"Be careful what promises you make. Some day you may regret something said in a pique of emotion." His hand slipped to her waist and pulled her close.   
  
Aimi pushed against his shoulders, but he held her tight. She gasped at the heat between them, and the fire in his eyes. Hachiro stared at her mouth, caressed her hip with his fingertips. His mouth covered hers, stealing the air from her lungs. She held herself still, her eyes wide, staring into his. The caress of his lips softened and she relaxed in his arms. As quickly as it begun, he held her away from him, his eyes narrowed.   
  
"Toshi was a fool for letting you go. I intend to do everything in my power to change your mind about me." He bowed and walked back to the house.   
  
Aimi pressed her fingers to her lips, her other hand pressed over her heart, trying to ease the pounding in her chest. It was shock, nothing more that made her pulse race and her heart leap in her chest when he touched her. She couldn't allow it to be more than that. 


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> News of Aimi's marriage to Hachiro reaches the members of the Shinsengumi. Aimi is preparing for the last of her trousseau and contemplates her growing feelings for Hachiro. The two of them stumble while navigating their early relationship and their first time together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW!!!!! The last half of the chapter is very NSFW so please be sure to read where you won't get into trouble.

Chizuru hurried to the garden with a tray of tea for Kondou. He would be leaving tomorrow for Edo to meet with the prospective members Heisuke met over the last few weeks.  
  
"You, boy."  
  
Chizuru stopped short and turned. "Captain Takeda, did you need something?"  
  
"I'm looking for Lieutenant Okita, have you seen her?"  
  
Chizuru shook her head. Takeda wasn't informed that Aimi left for Edo with Heisuke weeks ago. Chizuru was surprised he hadn't noticed before, but everyone was extremely busy since the Hamaguri Rebellion. Patrols were increased to clear out the remaining Choshu ronin possibly hiding in and around Kyoto.  
  
"I find it hard to believe you don't know where she is. You follow her around like a lost puppy." Takeda smirked at her. "You might be pretty for a boy, but you're still a child. A woman like Okita-san is beyond you."  
  
"Um..." Chizuru bit her lip to keep from laughing. She nearly forgot her disguise. Did Takeda imply that Chizuru had a crush on Aimi? What would a young boy say to something like that? Would a young boy find Aimi pretty? Chizuru thought her beautiful, but there was more to her than her looks. But to a man like Takeda, she doubted he cared to know anything about her character. A woman was a possession, nothing more. "Aimi-san isn't much older than me."  
  
"Takeda-san, is there something I can help you with?" Hijikata asked.  
  
"I asked young Yukimura if he knew where Okita Aimi was."  
  
"If it's one of the Watch you need, I believe Yamazaki is free."  
  
Takeda shook his head. "No, I ran into a friend of hers in town, and have a message for her. It can wait until she returns from her assignment."  
  
"Oh? Well, I suppose you can give it to Kondou-san. He sent Aimi-san with Heisuke to Edo. Her sister sent word it was time for her to return home." Hijikata gave him a smug grin. "Seems her betrothed finally decided to quit dragging his feet and make an honest woman out of her."  
  
"Betrothed? I wasn't aware she was engaged." Takeda's eyes narrowed.  
  
"Yeah, was a surprise to us as well, but she's been promised to Iba Hachiro since she was 16."  
  
Chizuru thought Takeda would break a tooth with how tightly he ground his teeth together. His knuckles whitened from his clenched fists.  
  
"Seems she wasn't ready to get married so soon after her aunt died. She asked Chief Okita, her guardian, to let her stay in Kyoto. Souji figured the best way to keep her out of trouble was put her to work. I'm just glad she was able to do the job so well."  
  
"So you indulged her whims? That's out of character for you, commander." Takeda narrowed his eyes and stared down at Hijikata.  
  
"I'm glad she's out of my hair. Damn nuisance trying to keep her out of trouble. If it weren't for Souji and Kondou-san I'd have sent her home immediately, but they both spoil her." Hijikata shrugged. Chizuru wondered how he managed to sound bored and amused at the same time. "Hachiro hadn't seen her since she moved to Osaka to take care of her aunt. When he found her here in Kyoto...Well, I guess he realized he'd kept her waiting too long."  
  
"Then congratulations are in order. Be sure to extend my regards to the happy couple." Takeda's voice was cool, almost frigid.  
  
Chizuru bit her lip and lowered her head to hide the smile forming. She was glad Aimi was safe from him now.    
  
"Yeah, will do. Now, if you'll excuse me I've got a schedule to figure out. All these new recruits mean more patrols to juggle."  
  
Takeda bowed and with a last glare at Chizuru he left the compound.  
  
"Um, thank you. But is that all true?" Chizuru asked.  
  
He shrugged. "About as true as you being a boy. But it's the story we're telling anyone who gets suspicious."  
  
"Is she really going to marry Iba-san?"  
  
Hijikata stared out the window, his fist and jaw clenched. "It's already done. Hachiro didn't waste any time. He didn't want Takeda getting another chance to hurt her." He let out a strangled laugh. "Guess they didn't tell her anything until it was all but a done deal. I hear she didn't take the news well."  
  
"No? I'm not surprised. She wasn't happy about leaving."  
  
"She'll see it's for the best in time." Hijikata frowned at something out the window.  
  
Chizuru didn't think he believed his own words, but she held her tongue.  
  
Hijikata gave her a small smile. "Run along, kid. Kondou-san is waiting on his tea."  
  
"Right, er, thanks again." She bowed and rushed off to the garden.  


* * *

  
Aimi pinched the bridge of her nose. The list of things she needed for her trousseau were extensive. Mitsu assured her that everything on the list was required. Aimi didn't see why she needed two dozen gold and shell inlaid boxes, most of them were too small to hold anything significant. And just what was the symbolism behind the 360 painted shells again?  
  
Mitsu explained that most of the items would come from the Okita family, taken from the collections each bride had brought over generations. Aimi felt guilty for the generosity they showed her. She wasn't even family. She chewed the inside of her cheek raw from worry. In one week's time her wedding procession would begin. All of the items would be carried boldly through the streets of Edo to her husband's house.  
  
The last of her own things arrived from Europe with the remainder of her inheritance. She'd thought the funds they sent her off with was all there was. For nearly three years she'd lived on the generosity of others, when a letter would have saved her. Now, she wasn't sure what to do about the funds. Hachiro told her they were hers to do with as she wished. He told her to keep it hidden. She gave it all to Rintaro for safe keeping. She might have a need of it in the future. Neither of them could predict what could happen to Hachiro as an Okuzume. She hated to think of it. She may not love him, but he was as important to her as any of her friends in Kyoto.  
  
Thinking of Kyoto made her miss everyone. She wished they could come. Their presence might make the idea more bearable. She sighed, no it would make it worse. She couldn't bear to have them happy for her, and wish her well when the very idea of it all terrified her. Aimi looked at the empty sword stand. She still felt undressed without her swords. Her wakizashi was lost now. Kyo hadn't returned before she left Kyoto. Would he be able to find her in Edo? Did he ever intend on returning it? She didn't think he liked the idea of having a younger sister, he'd probably taken the wakizashi and forgotten about her. Her katana she left with Kondou. He promised to keep her position for her when she left. Would he still offer the job to a married woman? Would Hachiro allow it? Kondou's last letter expressed his joy at hearing of her engagement and he was coming to Edo soon. She expected to hear from him any day.  
  
She stood and stretched the kinks from her back. Surveying the room she was satisfied everything was sorted and properly catalogued. There were a few hundred items left on the list, but Mistu assured her she had nothing to worry about. With nothing else to do before bed, Aimi slipped out to the garden.  
  
She settled by the fish pond. The koi swam lazily under the lily pads. A gentle breeze carried the fragrant scent of spice. The leaves were turning golden. Summer was over, and fall had taken over. A few leaves fell, fluttering through the wind before tumbling to the ground. She chewed on her lip. Hachiro would arrive soon. And therein lay her trouble. In the two weeks since the documents were finalized he spent each evening with her. She found herself anticipating his arrival each night and a warmth filled her. He was cool and formal in everything he said and did. He was impossible to read when his gaze lingered longer before she lowered her eyes.  
  
"Hey! Aimi-san!" A familiar voice cut through her thoughts.  
  
She waved and stood. "Heisuke! I was beginning to think you'd abandoned me."  
  
"Naw, just really busy. I've been north for the last few weeks." He sat on the bench beside her.  
  
"How is the recruiting going?"  
  
"Good. Really good. After Ikeda our reputation has improved. It's easier to get people to hear me out at least." He shrugged. "Kondou-san will be busy when he gets here."  
  
"That will make him happy. The Shinsengumi is really important to him."  
  
"Yeah." Heisuke sighed.  
  
"Is something wrong?"  
  
Heisuke straightened. "No, just...politics I guess. Some of the people Kondou wanted me to approach don't seem like they'll fit."  
  
"I confess I don't know a lot about the political state of Japan. Hachiro is concerned over what the Choshu are trying to do and that the shogunate may not be able to stop things from changing."  
  
"Speaking of Hachiro...I hear you're now married." His smile was wide. Heisuke nudged her shoulder. "I didn't even know you knew him."  
  
"Oh, well, we met a few times in Kyoto." Aimi's cheeks warmed.  
  
"He's been friends with everyone for a long time. The dojos used to compete a lot. He's good with a sword, he's even beaten Souji a few times."  
  
"I just wish things were different." Aimi stared at her hands. Hachiro's attitude frustrated her. He was so certain he knew what was best for her, that he disregarded her feelings. Hijikata did too. He never explained what would happen to them, if she chose to join the Watch. He was so certain she would regret being tied to a man. Sadly, she hadn't escaped that fate after all. Only now she was tied to a man she wasn't sure she could ever love. That wasn't exactly right, she was drawn to him. His duality intrigued her. He could be soft and gentle, but also hard as steel. She wasn't sure which side of him she found more fascinating.  
  
"Awe, c'mon, don't look so blue. Hachiro's a good guy. He'll take care of you. He's always taking care of his friends." Heisuke nodded sure he spoke the truth.  
  
"He is a good man. I know things could be worse. Have you heard from..." She couldn't bring herself to say it.  
  
"Chizuru writes me, and Sano too. Hijikata-san doesn't write except to send orders. Everyone is doing good, nothing exciting happening. I'll be glad when this is over and I can go back."  
  
"Yeah." Aimi stared at her hands. Would she ever return to Kyoto?  
  
"Awe, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you sad. You'll see everyone again." Heisuke took her hand. "Remember you made Chizuru a promise. It may take a while, but you'll see everyone again.  
  
Hachiro was leaving her here in Edo. As a bodyguard to the shogun, his position required him to travel. He'd decided it was too dangerous for her to go with him. A decision he made without consulting her. She couldn't ask him to let her stay in Kyoto, not when his travels would bring him more frequently through Edo.  
  
"Hey, did you know Kondou-san was coming? His ship arrives tomorrow."  
  
"He sent a letter, but I didn't know the exact day."  
  
"So when is the big day? The last ceremony is soon right?"  
  
"A week from today. I only hope she doesn't run away due to the pressure." Hachiro stepped from the trees. "It's good to see you, Heisuke." His gaze fell on their clasped hands and a flicker of emotion flashed in his eyes.  
  
"Hachiro! Wow, was I surprised when Kondou-san wrote me. Congratulations!" Heisuke let go of her hand, stood up and bowed to him. "You be sure to treat her well, she's pretty special."  
  
"Thank you. She is very special. I doubt there is another like her in all of Japan. I only wish the others could be here."  
  
"Well, Kondou-san and I will be there. I guess we're helping move her things." Heisuke grew serious. "I figure I better warn you that Takeda-san is coming  to Edo with Kondou-san. He's assuming more of Sanan-san's duties."  
  
Aimi tensed her shoulders. Hachiro sat on the other side of her and took her hand.  
  
"He can't hurt you now." He spoke softly, and pressed her fingers to his lips. "No one will hurt you again."  
  
Heat bloomed in her cheeks at Heisuke's chuckle. She studied Hachiro's face, curious as to what brought on his display of affection. Was he jealous of Heisuke? Or was it just for show? His thumb caressed the back of her hand sending shivers of pleasure over her skin. His eyes held hers. The world around them faded, all that mattered was what she read in his eyes. A smile tugged up his mouth and he traced her bottom lip with his thumb.  
  
A nervous chuckle snapped her out of her daze. "All right, a gentleman knows when to leave. I've got to get back to the dojo anyway." Heisuke jumped up and bowed then sauntered off toward the house. "Keep her safe, Hachiro."  
  
Aimi pulled her hand from Hachiro's and rubbed the back of it. Her skin still tingling from his touch. He leaned closer, his chest pressed against her shoulder. The heat from him enveloped her. Hijikata's touch created an inferno, but Hachiro's touch stirred something deeper. She gasped at the fullness of it. His breath caressed over her ear and neck.  
  
"Your blush is encouraging, tell me, should I kiss you again?" His lips brushed against her ear as he whispered.  
  
A soft moan left her throat and she tilted her head stretching her neck to him. She wanted his lips on her skin. His tongue traced the whirls of her ear, capturing her lobe and drawing it between his lips to suck. The tug of desire shot through her. One arm wrapped around her back and rested on her hip, the other teased her ribs. His teeth nipped along her jaw to the corner of her mouth. She turned into him wanting to explore more of what he made her feel.  
  
With a groan his lips covered hers. His teeth gently scraped over her bottom lip, tugging it between his, while his tongue ghosted over the seam of her mouth. She opened to him and met his tongue with hers. She needed to be closer, needed to feel the length of his body against hers. She wanted the reassurance that marrying him wasn't a mistake. He lifted her and positioned her astride him, her kimono bunched between them. Her fingers wound themselves through his soft hair.  
  
He kissed along her neck, pushing aside the collar of her kimono to nibble her collarbone. She arched into his touch. His hands trembled as he shifted the lower half of her kimono, allowing her core to press against him. He sucked in a breath with a hiss. She stilled and bit her lower lip. Aimi stared into his eyes and gave him a shy smile. She didn't want him to stop, but she couldn't bring herself to say it. She caressed the back of his neck, running her finger tips through his hair, waiting for him to kiss her again. He let out a breath and lifted her to her feet.  
  
"Did I do something wrong?"  
  
He shook his head. "I'll walk you to the house." He took her hand and tugged her to follow.  
  
She pulled at his hand and he stopped. "I'm not ready to go back to the house. I want..." What did she want? Her body trembled, under his cool stare. Her tongue darted out to wet her lips. "Please, I want to stay here with you." She curled her fingers through his and stepped into his arms. She pressed his hand to her waist. She slid her hand up his chest under the edge of his kimono and pressed her palm over his heart.  
  
"Is this what you really want?" He pulled her close, pressing the firmness of him against her stomach. "You tempt me beyond reason. If we continue, I cannot promise I can stop." His eyes burned with the same heat she felt pressing against her.  
  
Her core ached at the thought of him touching her there. "I trust you."  
  
He lifted her and carried her to the secluded corner. The trees offered shade, and the shrubbery would shield them from prying eyes. His kiss was hot and desperate and she moaned into his mouth. He set her on her feet and tugged open the top of her kimono. His eyes drank her in. He took off his haori and placed it on the ground. He took her hand and guided her to it. His hand skimmed over her chest as his lips claimed hers once more. She arched into his palm, marveling at the sensation shooting through her. He nipped his way to her ear.  
  
"I will stop whenever you wish. No matter how hard it may be."  
  
"I don't want you to stop." His muscles bunched under her hands from his restraint.  
  
His hands parted the bottom of her kimono and he pushed her knees up. She bit her lip and squirmed under his intense gaze. Warmth flooded between her legs as his fingers slipped under the edge if her undergarment.  
  
"Unlike Toshi, I've never taken a lover. But I will do all I can to please you. One day I hope you will think only of me when we come together."  
  
Aimi sucked in a breath. Did he think she and Hijikata had done this? She shook her head. "I've..."  
  
He pressed a finger over her lips. "I know you don't love me, that you accept me as your husband is enough." His mouth covered hers before she could tell him she was new to this as well. His kiss stole her breath and with it any semblance of thought as his hands lowered her undergarments.  
  
She lifted her hips to aid him, and pulled at his kimono, wanting to touch him. She thought she knew what to expect, but the reality of his firm chest under her hands was far more exhilarating. He trembled under her fingers, just as she trembled under his. Did he feel the same thing she did as her nails raked over his skin. When he did the same to her she curled her toes into the grass. She squirmed under his exploration, her body seemed to know where his hands should be, but he ghosted past them and she keened in her chest needing him to do more.  
  
He kissed her deeply. His fingers teasing along the junction of her thighs. Her fingers curled into his shoulders demanding he finish what he started, but unsure what to ask.  
  
"Please..." Her whispered moan brought a rumble from his throat. She let out a sigh of satisfaction when a long slender finger found entrance. She arched against his hand. He was gentle, tentative in his exploration of her. He groaned at the way she tightened around his digit.  
  
Hachiro withdrew his fingers and tugged his hakama below his hips. He settled between her thighs, supporting his weight on his arms. His eyes held hers. "Are you certain?"  
  
She bit her lip and nodded. "Yes." She curled her hand around the back of his head and pulled him down to kiss him.  
  
The tip of him pressed against her sex. With a groan he inched slowly forward. Sweat beaded on his brow. He clenched his jaw. "Don't close your eyes. I can't bear you thinking of him now."  
  
She looked into his eyes and tugged on his lip. He pressed his tongue past her open lips and his hips shot forward. She cried out at the sudden sharp pain. She gripped his shoulders tightly, a tear ran down her temple to her ear. She tried to push him away, to get away from the pain.  
  
His eyes widened and he looked down at where they joined. "I thought...No, you couldn't be..." He struggled to express his thoughts.  
  
"Please, stop." She pushed at him, tears blurring her vision.  
  
"I'm so sorry, had I known...Just lay still, it will pass." He kissed her cheeks, and then her eyes. His hand cupped one of her breasts and kneaded it gently. "It won't ever hurt again." His kiss was gentle. His lips pleading with hers to forgive him. His fingers caressed over her, coaxing the fire back to life. With each gentle caress and kiss her body relaxed. His tender touch soothed her fear, and soon she found herself rocking against him. She sighed when she felt only pleasure from the fullness of him. He kissed her deeply, stroking her tongue with his while his fingers teased her.  
  
His hips rocked slowly, tenderly as he moved within her. She panted for breath at the building of pleasure. She felt as if she would explode. Her nails dug into his shoulders desperate to cling to something. She tried to squirm away from it, she felt too much, and not enough at the same time. Her toes curled into the grass.  
  
"Aimi!" He shuddered over her.

"Hachiro...nnn." The feel of his mouth on her throat sent her spiraling up and over the edge as stars danced behind her eyes.  
  
His lips caressed over her face, coaxing her back to earth. She kissed his shoulder and sighed. He wrapped his arms around her and rolled to his side taking her with him. He kissed her nose, her forehead, her cheeks.  
  
"You should have told me I was your first." His voice was harder than she expected. The hardness around his eyes startled her.  
  
"I tried to, you didn't let me." She didn't understand his anger. Shouldn't he be pleased she'd never known another man? Didn't men find virginity a prize to crow about?  
  
Hachiro sighed. "Forgive me. I made a mess of your first time. I never thought..."  
  
She leaned up. "You thought what?" Her own anger started bubbling. Hijikata once suspected the same of her.  
  
He clenched his jaw and rolled to his back.  
  
"I want to know." She raised her eyebrows and demanded he answer her.  
  
"No, you really don't want to know my thoughts. I'm ashamed of them. Please, they would only hurt you."  
  
She ignored the softness in his voice. Her own anger now raged out of control. She gave herself willingly to her husband, yet he found no value in the gift she gave him.  
  
"You don't have to speak them, I see them in your eyes. I was a geigi, at Shimabara no less. A whore willing to bed any man with enough coin. Did you wonder how many of the captains I slept with? Why else wouldn't Hijikata marry her? Because she gives herself too easily?" She sat up and gathered her underwear, adjusting her kimono. "I wondered why you were so attentive when Heisuke was here when you've barely touched me these past two weeks. You thought I'd slept with him, didn't you?"  
  
Hachiro sat up and raked a hand over his face. He opened his mouth but closed it.  
  
Her harsh laughter caught in her throat. "If she's so desperate for a man that she'll fuck him, maybe she'll even accept me. Right?"  
  
His eyes confirmed she spoke his thoughts. She glared at him, furious that he thought so little of her. Her palm cracked against his cheek. He shot up and pinned her beneath him, her hands trapped over her head.  
  
"I didn't care that you had other lovers, it was easier to think you knew exactly what you wanted from me. Now..." He shook his head. "Now..."  
  
"Don't touch me." She glared up at him, trying to wriggle him off her. "I'd rather that pig Takeda touch me than you."  
  
"Once you bear my son, I will never touch you again." He pushed away and stalked to the wall pounding his fist against it. "With luck, you already do."  
  
"You bastard." She cut him off before he could continue. She would never bear his child.  
  
He snorted. "At least I know who my father is. You are bound to me until you bear a child. I don't require your permission, though I would prefer not to force myself on you. I want no doubt of the heritage of my heir. You will stay in Edo until then, after you may do as you wish." He shrugged his shoulders. "Perhaps after my son is born, I will take you to Kyoto and Toshi can offer you comfort."  
  
The air left her lungs. His words lashed at her with the fury and strength of a fist. She would rather die than stay married to a man who hated her. "I will never come to you again willingly." 

She ran for the house. Tears blurred her vision, causing her to stumble into a potted plant, sending it toppling from its pedestal. Aimi lost her balance and fell with it. She cried out as her hands scrapped over the broken pottery, slicing her palms open. She rolled to her knees and cradled her hands against her stomach. Blood pooled at the surface. Her shoulders shook with each sob. Not at the pain in her hands, but the ache in her chest. If he thought so little of her, why had he made her his wife? Only Hachiro could release her from this sham of a marriage. He was no different than Takeda.  
  
"Let me see your hands." Hachiro knelt beside her.  
  
"No! Don't touch me." She shoved her shoulder into his chest, but he kept his balance and grip on her wrists. "You've made it clear how you feel. I'll tend to my hands myself."  
  
"Forgive me, Aimi. My anger isn't meant for you. I allowed jealousy to cloud my judgement. You gave me your trust and I threw it back in your face. I acted without honor, and I'm deeply shamed by the things I thought and said. You've done nothing wrong. You are beautiful and perfect and deserved more than to be ravaged in the garden. If I could take this day back, I would. I would come to you as a devoted husband and show you what it means to be cherished, to be loved." He knelt in front of her and tugged gently at her curled fingers. "Let me tend to you. It's the least I can do."  
  
She clenched her hands into a fists. Fear froze her. She couldn't let him see her wounds. "It's nothing. I'll be fine."  
  
"There's so much blood, you may need a doctor. You don't want to lose the ability to hold your katana."  
  
The urgency in his voice soothed some of her fear. Could she trust him still? She kept her face lowered but let him open her hands. He pressed a cloth to them, gently wiping away the blood. Hachiro stopped touching her palm and she felt his weighted gaze studying her. She peeked at her hands. Before their eyes her wounds began to heal. Soon they would fade to faint pink scars, and in a day or two all traces of injury would disappear.  
  
She tried to pull her hands from his, but he held her wrists tightly. She curled her fingers to hide the fading cuts. Her heart pounded wildly in her chest. How did she explain it away?  
  
He lifted her chin and stared into her eyes. His lips thinned and he narrowed his eyes. Aimi held her breath. Hachiro let out a sigh and shook his head. "You needn't be afraid. Your secret is safe with me." He helped her to her feet. "Let's go to your room so you can clean up before someone sees you." He bent and caught her under her knees and carried her to her room.  
  
He set her on her feet and rinsed his handkerchief in the fresh water he pour in the bowl. He cleaned her hands gently. "I can't take back the words I spoke, or the harm I have inflicted upon you. I can only beg your forgiveness."  
  
Aimi refused to meet his gaze. Her heart still ached from the sharp words he threw at her. If that was how he truly felt, did an apology mean anything? She blinked away the tears threatening to spill over and took a shuddered breath.  
  
Hachiro let out a loud breath. "You have my word you will be safe, even from me. My protection doesn't come with a price. I vow I will never touch you again, you will have the chaste marriage you asked for." He left her without another word.  
  
Aimi bit the inside of her cheek. She wanted to believe him, she understood jealousy could drive a person crazy. She couldn't promise him she'd never think of Hijikata. How could they move past this? Her heart broke at the loss of what could have been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have edited and read this chapter so many times that I no longer know if I like it or not, but I'm posting it and moving on to the next. So if a sentence is really screwy it's probably because I tried to move it or cut something and forgot to fix it after. 
> 
> And the smut...I don't even know anymore...It feels meh to me after reading it too many times. Hopefully it's just too much time spent on it and I'm being to self-critical.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chizuru learns the secrets of the Shinsengumi and her father's involvement.

February 1865   
  
The arrival of new recruits created a strain within the Shinsengumi. The cramped quarters meant tempers were short due to the lack of space and privacy. Chizuru felt bad for having her own room. But it wasn't like she could share with anyone. Hijikata and Kondou gave Aimi's room to one of the new captains. Chizuru hated seeing it empty, but to see another there felt worse. The finality of it sunk in. Aimi wasn't returning to the Shinsengumi.   
  
Months passed since her last letter. She'd written she was happy, and safe. She didn't want Chizuru to worry about her. But as the months passed, she couldn't help but feel like something was wrong. Chizuru carried tea into the common room. They discussed moving to a new location, somewhere large enough to hold them all. She stopped just inside the door. The tension in the room was palpable. She bowed and called to announce she brought tea.   
  
Since the arrival of Itou Kashitaro and Miki Saburo the mood of the Shinsengumi had been grim. Itou is an Imperialist, and while Kondou seems to think his contribution will benefit them in the end, the others feel he has an ulterior motive.   
  
Sanan gave her a tight lipped smile. Kondou addressed Itou. The two left the room with Takeda, and Miki soon followed. Chizuru wondered why they weren't discussing the new base with all the captains. They decided these things together, didn't they?   
  
"Ugh. Who brought those bastards to the Shinsengumi?" Okita's lips curled into a snarl.   
  
"The culprit's still in Edo. Damn it, Heisuke...Remind me to punch him a few times when he gets back," Nagakura said.   
  
Each captain expressed their distaste for the two newcomers. Itou Kashitaro, was a well educated and skilled speaker, as well as a master of Hokushin Itto. Heisuke studied at his dojo before going to Shiei Hall. The other was Miki Saburo, Chizuru knew little about him other than he was snide towards nearly everyone, especially her. He was supposedly Itou's brother, by blood. Though, Chizuru didn't see much of a family resemblance.   
  
Sanan's shoulders slumped and he hung his head. Everyone seemed to hold their breath, afraid to speak.   
  
"Sanan-san, don't listen to that asshole, you got it?"   
  
Sanan gave a bitter laugh. "He's a skilled orator and master swordsman. With such a dignified Deputy Commander, I suppose the Shinsengumi has no need for a colonel."   
  
Hijikata called after him as he left the hall, but Sanan didn't look back. Chizuru felt helpless as she watched Sanan leave the room, his shoulders slumped in defeat.   
  
"Man, I feel bad for him. Even the men avoid him these days," Harada said.   
  
Sanan's temperament grew worse as his condition stayed stagnate. The injury to his left arm left his hand limp and useless. He was short with everyone, or smug and intimidating. Chizuru bit her lip. She hadn't escaped his cool snideness. Chizuru wished Aimi were here. She was always able to lift his spirits. She didn't let him wallow, but pushed him, and treated him as she did any other able bodied man. Chizuru blinked back the tears. She couldn't shake the feeling something bad was about to happen.   
  
"Why is Itou-san even here, Hijikata-kun? Why don't you just get rid of him?" Okita asked.   
  
Hijikata pinched the bridge of his nose. "You know I can't do that. Kondou-san believes he has something to contribute. Besides, he brought a lot of men with him, you think they will keep quiet if he just disappears?"   
  
"Aren't you supposed to be the Demon? The commander from Hell? You're supposed to make the impossible happen," Okita said.   
  
"Fine, Souji, how about we make you the Commander. Then you can kick Itou and his guys out, right?"   
  
"Oh, Hell no. That's way too much trouble." Okita laughed and waved his hands in front of him.   
  
Neither man there indicated they trusted Itou. No one stood up for him. Saito only spoke his thoughts after Chizuru asked them. Each organization faced diversity due to growth, but forcing that diversity could destroy it from the inside. His words hung in the air as if they were a bad omen. Itou's presence was a recipe for dissension, if not outright disaster.   


* * *

Chizuru sat in the garden watching the sunset. The sky turned maroon and seemed to match the mood of the day. Something dark and sinister hung heavy over the compound. If only Sanan could get better. It seemed unfair that someone so capable, and indispensable to the Shinsengumi felt like a burden. Chizuru understood how Sanan felt. She did all she could to be useful to them, even though they reminded her time and again she was a guest. Was there anyway for Sanan's arm to heal?   
  
Chizuru recalled what Okita said the night they learned of his injury. There a serum Sanan could take, but Nagakura didn't seem happy about it. What exactly was this secret serum? Could it help Sanan? If it could why hadn't he taken it already? Chizuru mulled over what little she knew. Snooping could get her into a lot of trouble. But how could she sit by, doing nothing, if there was a chance she could help Sanan?   
  
She decided she would investigate. But where did she look for answers? There were some rooms in Yagi residence she wasn't allowed in, and Sanan stayed in Nambu House. The answers had to be one of those places. She discounted the residence next door where Takeda and some captains stayed, the ones who weren't privy to her secret. The information wouldn't be there. It made sense for them to keep that information close. Was it somewhere Hijikata and the others could keep a close eye on it?   
  
Chizuru waited for night to fall and slipped quietly from her room. She didn't get far before a door slid shut nearby. She crept down the hall to the common room staying to the shadows. She held her breath, listing to the sounds of night. Eery silence surrounded her, the cold seeped into her bones. She couldn't stay there forever. She should return to her room. Curiosity won out over her beating heart. She bit her lip and peered into the room.   
  
Sanan stood there in the dark. She held her breath not knowing if she should address him or not. He turned and looked right at her.   
  
"I never thought it would be you who would catch me. How unexpected." He tilted his head and narrowed his eyes searching the shadow she hid in. "You're there aren't you, Yukimura-kun? Come out."   
  
She moved into the room, her head down. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snoop, or watch you. I heard something and..."   
  
"Well, I don't plan on scolding you. If you see something suspicious in the middle of the night, of course you would be curious." He gave her a gentle smile.   
  
Chizuru wondered what was different about him. The gentle smile on his face was one she'd not seen since his injury. There was a relaxed calmness about him. He seemed at peace, almost too peaceful. He was a man without a worry in the world.   
  
"Um, Sanan-san? Has something good happened?"   
  
"Why yes it has. Or rather...I've finally made up my mind." He contemplated something in his hand.   
  
In his palm was a small bottle made of fine idro. The glass vial held a crimson liquid. A shiver of dread crawled over her skin. She sensed whatever was in the bottle was more akin to poison than anything good.   
  
"What are you holding?"   
  
A smirk lifted one corner of his mouth. "This is a secret treatment developed by your father, Kodo-san, under orders of the shogunate."   
  
"What?" Her father was involved? What was he ordered to do? Was this why he was missing?   
  
Sanan explained the serum was believed to come from the West. A tiny vial of it could transform a person. They became stronger, and gained extreme recuperative abilities. Any injury healed almost instantly. It all sounded so surreal to Chizuru, just something out of a fairytale. Was there really such a thing? If it truly did all he claimed, why hadn't he taken it months ago?   
  
He seemed to read her thoughts. "It has a rather serious flaw. It was far to strong and drove those who took it mad."   
  
Chizuru clamped a hand over her mouth. The night she met Aimi; they watched as monstrous creatures cut down the ronin chasing them.   
  
Sanan smiled coolly. "The men you saw that night were men of this ilk. No longer capable of rational thought, and were little more than bloodthirsty monsters."   
  
The more he explained the adverse side effects the more she feared the contents of the vial. If he took it, he might save his arm, but at what cost? Would he lose his mind from it? Why had her father allowed such a thing? She couldn't accept that he was involved. How could her father do something so inhumane?   
  
"With his disappearance his research stopped." Sanan held up the vial. The liquid sloshed menacingly from side to side. "This is the product of my own research based on the notes he left behind. I've diluted it as much as possible."   
  
Chizuru's mind whirled. There were so many questions to ask him, but she didn't know where to start. She blurted out the next question that came to mind.   
  
"If you take that, will you be okay? Will it prevent you from going mad?"   
  
Sanan lifted his shoulder slightly. "I've yet to test it on anyone. Assuming I've mixed it properly, if I take it, my arm should heal."   
  
"You aren't actually considering taking it, are you? You don't know what could happen. Please, reconsider this. There has to be another way. You don't need to rely on..."   
  
"I have no choice! This is the only way to heal this damn arm." His voice lashed at her with all the anger and frustration he carried the past year. He'd followed his friends from Edo, expecting them to have his back. He felt useless here. The position he held was out of pity and one with little responsibility now that Itou was their Deputy Commander. "If I must die as a swordsman, let me die as a person too."   
  
"No." Chizuru shook her head. He was giving up. She couldn't bear it.   
  
"The odds against me aren't as bad as you imagine."   
  
Time was running out, but what could she do? Should she scream and alert whoever was nearby? Would they come in time to stop him? She couldn't risk someone other than the captains who already knew finding out.   
  
"I don't think you should take the serum. There's a high chance it will fail. If the others knew, they would try to stop you."   
  
Sanan nodded, Heisuke would be disappointed in him. He was against the use of the serum. How could he not after all their failures?   
  
Chizuru began to relax as Sanan contemplated how the others would react to his decision.   
  
"Well then, if I should die, give my regards to Toudou."   
  
"What?"   
  
Sanan shook his head. "I really am in Hell now, to be pitied even by the likes of you."   
  
"No!" She threw her hands up but she was too late.   
  
In an instant he gulped down the contents. The vial slipped from his fingers and crashed to the floor. Shattering into thousands of tiny shards of glass. Chizuru watched in horror as a crimson drop ran down the corner of his mouth. Sanan clutched his throat and crumpled to his knees. She rushed to his side, but hesitated unsure what to do. He groaned in agony. His hand grasping at his chest. His fingers dug into his shirt over his heart.   
  
She reached out to comfort him. His right arm shot out, knocking her across the room. Her back slammed against the wall. She slid to the floor, the wind knocked out of her. She gasped for breath and her vision blurred. She shook the wave of dizziness away in time to see Sanan lunge for her, his hands stretching toward her throat. A look of madness widened his now blood red eyes.   
  
Chizuru gripped his arm trying desperately to free herself. The hands tightening around her throat were Sanan's, but the eyes staring madly out from his face belonged to someone else. No, she wouldn't give up on him, he still had to be there. He was still the same man she knew. He wasn't a monster.   
  
"Sa-san-an." She managed to choke out his name.   
  
The fingers around her throat loosened and she sputtered for breath.   
  
"I wasn't lucky after all."   
  
"Sanan-san, are you back?"   
  
He took a ragged breath, clutching at his chest. "Yukimura...I must ask a favor of you. Kill me while you have the chance."   
  
"What?"   
  
"I've failed. I can feel my mind leaving me. At this rate I will kill you."   
  
"No, I can't. I could never do that, I mean, you're still you, Sanan-san."   
  
She couldn't sway him. He cornered her and reached for her kodachi. She fought to keep him from drawing her sword, but he was far too strong for her. He turned the blade on himself. He explained a blade through the heart would kill him, just as it would a normal person. She sobbed as the blade drew closer.   
  
The clang of metal rang out, her kodachi fell from his hands. With a gasp he collapsed to the floor.   
  
"Sanan!" She dropped beside him, shaking him and screaming his name.   
  
"What are you doing in here?" Okita scanned the room, he stared at her, at Sanan, and at the glass shards on the floor. His mouth pinched to a thin line.   
  
"Please, help Sanan.-san"   
  
He bent down and lifted Sanan off the floor. "When you drink the Water of Life, supposedly your body can't handle it. It hurts like hell and you start to lose it. He probably couldn't take it and passed out."   
  
"Then he's not dead?"   
  
Okita shook his head, a grim expression on his face. "The real painful part comes later." He carried Sanan out of the room.   
  
Chizuru dropped her face into her hands. She'd finally tapped into the secrets of the Shinsengumi. Her mind went blank from confusion and fear. She was vaguely aware the others entered the room, but the world was a white blur. None of their words penetrated the daze she was in. She stumbled back to her room.   
  
"Seriously...You can be a real pain in the ass, you know?" Okita pushed her into her room. "Time to explain why you were in there with Sanan-san."   
  
Chizuru swallowed at his harsh tone. He wasn't particularly nice to her under normal circumstances. His expression was far darker than she's ever seen it before. Would he kill her if he didn't like what she told him?   
  
She explained how a noise drew her to the common room where she found Sanan. He told her about the serum and her father's involvement. She tried to stop him but he was determined.   
  
Despite Okita's complaint that killing her would be easier, he answered her questions. The shogunate approached them, asking them to be part of an experiment. The Shinsengumi was new and their reputation didn't encourage many recruits. Those they did get either lacked skill or experience. They viewed the experiment as a way to enhance their ranks. The men who broke their code were given a choice, suicide, or drink the shogunate serum. Things didn't go as planned. Chizuru experienced first hand what happened when the serum failed. Chizuru shivered at the thought of Sanan becoming one of those monsters. Chizuru still had the occasional nightmare about the night she met the Shinsengumi. She and Okita shared their worry over what might become of Sanan. He ordered her to stay in her room the rest of the night, and to rest. 

* * *

Chizuru found them in the common room the next morning. Each man waited for news on their fallen brother. If Sanan made it through the night, would he still go mad when he woke?  
  
Inoue informed them he was stable and sleeping. He no longer looked like a Fury but his normal self. It was still too soon to tell if he was out of the woods yet. So far he hadn't gone crazy, but it was too early to call it a success.   
  
Itou interrupted their somber silence. Kondou fumbled to explain the situation, unsure just what Itou suspected. Itou was oddly content with Saito's explanation. But Chizuru worried he knew far more than he let on. Hijikata confirmed her suspicions. With everyone gathered but Sanan it wouldn't take Itou long to put it together that something had happened to Sanan.   
  
As if summoned, Sanan entered the room. Chizuru thought Kondou might cry with happiness at seeing his dear friend alive and well. The joy shared by all was short lived. Sanan requested they inform everyone he had died. He deflected each protest with a clever argument, proving he still held a firm grasp on reality and his mind. The secret wasn't theirs to reveal. With his hand now healed, he couldn't show himself in public. The only way the shogunate kept their secret, was if there was no proof of the treatment or serum. With his death their secret was safe. Sanan would now lead the Furies, and they renamed them the Fury Corps.   
  
The Shinsengumi needed larger accommodations immediately. They must keep Sanan's condition a secret. Despite their earlier protests, the captains agreed that moving into Nishi Honganji Temple was their only option.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to steer clear of using too much of the game dialogue, but some of it was necessary to keep to the mood and the characterization of those involved. Chizuru's path in this will likely stay close to canon events. The next chapter will return to Aimi in Edo and how things have gone for her since she left Kyoto and married.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aimi is struggling to accept her life in Edo. Hachiro's commitment to the shogun has kept him away from home since they married. Life with his step-mother is difficult, and Aimi is resigned to leaving without Hachiro's permission.

March 1865  
  
Hachiro didn't stay in Edo long after Aimi moved into his family home. His position with the Okuzume required him to travel. She hated being left behind, but it wasn't like they had a real relationship now. They were cordial toward each other, but there was no warmth in his smile. He avoided being alone with her in the short week before he left. She tried to busy herself with household matters, but Hachiro's stepmother resented her intrusion.  
  
Nothing Aimi did pleased her. Hisa had a sharp tongue, and a biting temper. When Hachiro and his father were home she was kind and friendly. The moment both men left to carry out their duties to the shogun, the atmosphere changed drastically. Aimi was sympathetic toward her position and tried to anticipate her needs to lesson some of the confrontations between them. The more she tried to help, the more hostile Hisa grew.  
  
Aimi sent a letter to Mitsu weeks ago. It hadn't been an easy matter. The servants watched her every move, and were quick to inform Hisa of anything that might interest the woman. She asked Mitsu to get a letter to Hachiro. She wanted permission to return to Mitsu's home. The hostile environment was becoming unsafe.  
  
Staying increased the risk of someone learning her secret. The burn long since healed, Aimi couldn’t hide her hand under a bandage much longer. It healed far too quickly and without any trace of a scar.

Each day, Hisa asked Aimi how her hand was healing, while eyeing the bandage suspiciously. It was her own fault for being careless in the first place. Aimi didn't regret saving the child from the overturning brazier. Aimi regretted forgetting her burn, and using her hand as if nothing was wrong with it. She couldn't wear a bandage forever, and eventually would have to show how her injury was healing. How could she explain it when she didn't understand it herself?  
  
Aside from her mother, Aimi only saw that healing ability in others once. The night she met Hijikata and the members of the Shinsengumi. What curse had befallen the three men Saito had to cut down? Was she at risk of the same fate?

She wished her mother had explained the strange power she had. If they were the same, wouldn't she have healed from any injury as well? Aimi couldn't remember the details around her mother's death. She was nearly 10, she should be able to recall what happened. She was sent off to school, only allowed to visit once before the end. Her mother passed away before the next holiday, and Aimi didn't leave the school again until she turned 18.

 

* * *

  
Another month passed and still no word from Mitsu or Hachiro. Aimi warned Mitsu not to write, that the letter would be confiscated, but she hoped to hear from someone by now. Aimi started wearing gloves to hide the lack of a scar on her left palm. She wore them constantly. She couldn't risk anyone who knew of the burn to see her hand. This irritated Hisa; gloves were western apparel, and she resented foreign influences in Japan. Aimi wished that was Hisa's only reason for her hateful behavior, but there was more to it.  
  
Hachiro's own mother died when he was only months old. His father remarried soon after to provide a mother for his young son. Three years later, Hisa had a difficult birth. The child was lost and she was unable to have more children. She also walked with a cane. Aimi wondered if the cane held a dual purpose. Hisa wielded it sharpy towards the servants, and even Aimi wasn't spared her violence. With both Hachiro and Iba-san gone, Hisa had no one to keep her temper in check. When the two men were around she was as sweet and loving as Chizuru. Once they left, Hisa grew angry and violent. At first Hisa only gave her harsh words over household matters not done correctly. Recently, attempts to hit Aimi replaced the harsh words that usually spewed from her mouth. Aimi'd avoided any serious injury so far, but knew her own temper would see her striking back eventually. She should have left rather than send a letter. Surely Hachiro would understand her reasons.  
  
For the last two weeks she'd not felt well. Aimi was never one to be sick for long and the prolonged illness was starting to worry her. When the other girls at school came down with numerous illnesses over the years, Aimi would only have mild symptoms, or a fever lasting two days at the most. Likely due to her healing abilities. Whatever illness she now had was relentless. Aimi lay curled on her side, and knew she was seriously ill. She hadn't kept down the broth the servant brought and helped her eat. Along with being unable to hold down food or water, Aimi was running a fever and her heart raced wildly. Was this what her mother suffered from? The young servant girl fretted over Aimi and wished to call the doctor. Hisa insisted she would be recover in no time under her care.  
  
Aimi woke in the middle of the night alone. Everywhere ached. She was weak and her mouth was dry. She tried to get up for some fresh water to drink, but the world spun and closed in on her with a wall of blackness.

* * *

  
Aimi blinked at the unfamiliar ceiling. She tried to sit up, but a weight over her chest held her in place. A strong arm tightened around her. She gasped and pushed at it. Fear sent a chill down her spine.  
  
"Shh, Aimi, you're safe."  
  
"Hachiro?" She gripped his arm.  "Where am I?"  
  
"You're home."  
  
Aimi stiffened, her grip on his arm tightened.  
  
"It's all right, I've brought you to Mitsu-san."  
  
Aimi relaxed and let out a breath. "Hisa will be angry if I don't return to your home."  
  
"You aren't ever going back there. She can't hurt you anymore."  
  
"Hurt me? I don't understand?"  
  
Hachiro let out a loud breath. "I came home a week ago and found you unconscious."  
  
Aimi sucked in a breath. "What happened?"  
  
Hachiro was silent for so long Aimi thought he'd drifted back to sleep. "When I was very young I was always sick. My father adopted my stepmother's younger brother to be his heir because the doctors told him I would likely die before reaching adulthood. When I was ten I asked my father to let me study western medicine. I hoped to find out more about my illness. He agreed and I spent time at Yukimura's clinic. While I was away from home I began to improve. When I returned home I was ill again. Each time I stayed away for longer periods of time. My strength and energy improved and my father agreed to let me start training at the dojo."  
  
Aimi caressed his cheek, she brushed away the moisture she found there. "You're saying your illness was intentional, that something at home was the cause?"  
  
"I hoped I was wrong. I was a boy of ten. To think someone who cared for me could do something so terrible...I didn't want to be right. Each episode, she held me while I cried, I never suspected she wished me harm. Kodo-san and I poured over his books, and confirmed my suspicions."  
  
"She poisoned you? My God! You were just a child!"  
  
"Not just me. I recognized the symptoms immediately when I found you. I am so sorry. I never thought she would harm you. Father wasn't expected to leave Edo for months. I received his letter at the same time I received Mitsu-san's. I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner." He hugged her close and kissed her temple. "Had I been delayed further..." He let out a shuddered breath.  
  
Aimi curled against him. Relief washed over her. She'd convinced herself she was dying of the same illness that took her mother. A half mad laugh bubbled up. "Then..." She shook her head. "I never understood what happened to my mother. She healed more quickly than I did. She said as I got older I would heal faster, and when the time was right, she would explain. I thought..." Aimi let out a breath. "I thought I had what she had." She blinked away the tears. She didn't know what she felt. Anger, fear, confusion, relief, all of these emotions washed over her.  
  
"She accused you of being a kitsune. She claimed you were possessed and she had to purge it from you."  
  
"I burned my hand saving a child in town. She began to suspect I was hiding something." Aimi bit her lip. While his stepmother was unstable, Aimi understood what drove her to act out. A normal person didn't heal the way she did. "We both know I'm not--"  
  
Hachiro put his finger over her lips. "Don't. Don't make excuses for her."  
  
Aimi shook her head. "I wasn't, it's just...You should have married someone normal."  
  
Hachiro pulled her closer. "From the moment we met, I've only wanted you. Nothing has changed that." He kissed the corner of her eyes where a tear slipped down her temple. "Nothing will ever change that."  
  
Aimi stilled in his arms at the tenderness of his kiss on her temple. She held her breath. This was the first time since they married that he held her close. Her heart thumped loudly in her chest. She ran trembling fingers through his hair.  
  
Hachiro sighed and rolled away. "Forgive me. I meant only to comfort you. You are safe from me. I gave you my word, I will not go back on it." He was on his feet before she could reach for him.  
  
"I don't want you to go."  
  
Hachiro's voice cold and emotionless. "You need to rest, to regain your strength. I will visit you in the morning."  
  
"But..."  
  
"You owe me nothing. It is I who owes you. I can never make up for what Hisa has done." He bowed low and left her room.  
  
Aimi pounded the pillow he vacated. It was still warm and carried his scent. She buried her face in it and cried herself to sleep. Would they ever move past that terrible moment in the garden? They'd both said things in anger. She wished to take back what she said but, each time she tried, the words stuck in her throat.

* * *

  
Mid June 1865  
  
Aimi walked to the koi pond at the back of the garden. She had to stop twice to catch her breath. She wasn't recovering. Even under Mitsu's careful care her strength was still fading more each day. None of the doctors they saw could explain her illness. The numerous powders and teas they recommended did little to help her. She continued to lose weight. No matter what foods she ate her body didn't gain enough nutrients. Aimi looked into the still water of the pond; her mother's thin and frail face stared back at her.  
  
The shock in Hachiro's eyes when he saw her after being gone for two months scared her. So did the pitying glances from Mitsu and Rintaro. Kumeko was determined to nurse her back to health. Aimi worried that if she stayed here too much longer it would be devastating for the young girl. She could feel her life slipping away a little more each day.  
  
Since his recent return, Hachiro came everyday. She wanted to ask him to stay each night, but he quickly made an excuse to leave when Mitsu ushered the kids off to bed. He told her he was staying at the family dojo. He had only a few days to make all the necessary arrangements enabling them both to go to Kyoto. He didn't want to disturb her rest and was up early each day. He kissed her forehead before he left her each night. She pouted each time, wishing he would kiss her lips again.    
  
"There you are." Hachiro stepped from the shadows of the trees. "You know you aren't supposed to be straining yourself." He frowned at her.  
  
"The walls were closing in." Aimi forced her shoulders to relax. Hachiro was her husband; more than that he was her friend.  
  
"I'm sorry if I startled you."  
  
Aimi shrugged. "I was lost in thought. All of the blossoms are long gone now. I wonder if I will see them bloom again."  
  
Hachiro took her hand. The ache in her joints made her finch. The pain that flashed in his eyes caused a lump in her throat. She wrapped her fingers around his and gave it a squeeze.  
  
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you."  
  
Her eyes stung from the tears. "I know. It's not your fault. I just wish..."  
  
Hachiro pulled her closer and gently cupped her face with his hand. "I know. I wish we had answers. Each time I leave, I think..." His thumb caressed her cheek. His eyes held hers, drawing her in.  
  
Aimi studied the planes of his face, his elegant nose, and brow, his perfect cheekbones and strong jaw. His eyes were the color of the sea after a storm, deep green and full of life. His full lips...her gaze dropped to them. Her tongue traced her bottom lip recalling the feel of those supple lips against hers.  
  
His fingers curled, pressing his fingertips to the back of her head as he pulled her face close. He pressed his lips to her forehead, and wrapped her in his arms. He let out a sigh.  
  
"You've no idea how I wish things were different. I shouldn't have touched you that day in the garden. I shouldn't have left you with Hisa. I should have taken you with me. If all these things were different would you see me differently?" His voice was soft against her ear. "Would the sound of my voice lift your soul the way yours does mine? Would you long for my touch, the way I long for yours? Would the beat of your heart be dependent on the beat of mine to guide its rhythm? Would you welcome my kiss if I had? Will you ever welcome it?" His words caressed over her, sending her heart racing.  
  
"I would," she whispered. "I do...want you to kiss me, that is." She leaned back and looked up at him expectantly. "You're my husband."  
  
He caressed his thumb over her lip and she closed her eyes, tilting up for him to kiss her.  
  
"No, I think you have confused duty and gratitude for love. You would regret it in time." He took her shoulders and held her away. "I don't want you to come to me out of gratitude, Aimi. I want all of you." He crossed his hands behind his back. "I'm leaving for Osaka and Kyoto in two days. I won't return to Edo until the end of the summer. Mitsu-san asked me to leave you here. You need someone who can tend you at all times. Kyoto isn't a safe place for you, and she's right..."  
  
She grabbed at his kimono. "I don't want to stay, I want to go with you. Please, I want to go to Kyoto. I want to see everyone; Souji, Chizuru, Kondou and..." She released him and clutched at her chest at the spark of anger flashing in his eyes.  
  
"Toshi?"  
  
The stab of pain in her chest shamed her. Hachiro was now her husband, it dishonored him for her to harbor feelings for another. "I'm scared I will never see them again. It isn't about Hijikata-san. I have to return to Kyoto, I can't explain it. Please, understand."  
  
Hachiro sighed. "He would have kept you safe. I can never make up for what my stepmother did. I should have suspected she would harm you. I left you at her mercy and failed to protect you."  
  
"No! It's not your fault. How could you have known? She was so kind when you and your father were there. She was so happy when I first moved in. You can't blame yourself." She gripped his hand. "I don't blame you. It was my fault. I was burned, and she thought..."  
  
"You're fault? How can you think that? I failed you. Mitsu, and Rintaro blame me. You should blame me. If Souji had found you unconscious and near death, he'd have challenge me without a second thought. He still may after he sees what has become of you." He shook his head. "A man should protect his woman. Ensure that those he entrusts to her care will act with honor. I promised them all I would take care of you. I promised you, you would be safe. You were supposed to have the protection of the Iba house, against all who wished you harm. In all these things I failed you. How can you not hate me? How can you trust me to keep you safe?" Hachiro let out a defeated breath. "As much as it pains me to accept it, I can't protect you. I will take you to Kyoto. I will take you to Toshi."  
  
He pulled from her grip and walked back to the house. She watched him retreat through tear filled eyes. She wanted to call out to him, to tell him she trusted him, but deep down she was afraid. Not of Hachiro, but of his duty to his house. Someday he would regret marrying her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, but not sorry. I had written something much darker but realized that the only way Aimi would have stayed through something as bad as the early version was if it happened without her knowledge. She'd never stay in a place she really thought was dangerous. She simply underestimated Hisa and her true intentions. 
> 
> I was intrigued by the real life story of Hachiro. As a young boy he was very ill, and his father did adopt someone else to become the heir of Iba dojo. Yet, Hachiro overcame his illness and was allowed to train and surpassed his adopted brother in his swordsmanship skills. I really wish more of his history was translated into English, because what I've been able to find is fascinating! He quickly became one of my favorite characters in history!


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aimi returns to Kyoto. Her friends are shocked and angry to learn what has happened since she left them.

End of June 1865  
  
Chizuru waited with the Shinsengumi on the north road into Kyoto. The excitement had yet to abate since Kondou informed them they were tasked with guarding the shogun and his retinue through Kyoto and during his stay at Nijo Castle. Chizuru understood how big a deal it was, but her excitement came from knowing Aimi was returning to Kyoto.  
  
Iba Hachiro was one of the shogun's Okuzume; his personal bodyguards. His letter arrived with their orders, and informed them to prepare for Aimi's return. Hijikata grumbled over the news. He was determined to have her stay elsewhere in Kyoto, though he preferred she returned to Edo where it would be safer for her. Chizuru, however, was glad to have her friend near enough to visit.  
  
She stood with Hijikata and a contingent of soldiers. The other captains took positions along the main street blocking off all other traffic and ensuring the shogun a safe and undisturbed travel through town.  
  
The sound of footsteps and hoof beats drew closer. Chizuru sucked in a breath at how regal the guard looked atop their horses. The shogun rode a white stallion in the center of the formation. Iba Hachiro rode behind him on a matching stallion. At the rear was a norimono carried by eight men. Women and non-samurai weren't allowed to ride horses. Chizuru stared at the litter hoping the window would slide open and she could wave to her friend.  
  
As if she spoke the words out loud, a screen slid back silently. Chizuru raised her hand to wave, but the face looking out at her made her pause. A thin and pale woman looked out at them.  
  
"Damn it!" Hijikata sucked in a gasp and clenched his jaw. "What the hell has happened to her?"  
  
Chizuru glanced at him. Anger brought a deep color to his throat. Why was he angry? She looked back at the litter. The woman gave her a small smile. Chizuru's breath caught in her throat at the familiar tilt to the smile.    
  
"It can't be?" She couldn't accept what she saw. She glanced at Iba, his expression was drawn, jaw clenched. He met Hijikata's eyes and gave a grim shake of his head.  
  
"What the hell is he thinking having her travel?" The anger in Hijikata's whisper sent a shiver of fear down her spine.  
  
Once the procession passed, Hijikata fell in behind. His men taking the rear guard. Chizuru scurried to keep up, her eyes darting to Hijikata's face.  
  
"What do you think happened to her?" she whispered.  
  
Hijikata glared at her. "Hell if I know. But you can be damn certain someone is going to explain it."  
  
Chizuru could count on one hand how many times she saw Hijikata this angry. It usually meant someone was going to die, or at least wish they had. Even though his anger wasn't directed at her, she couldn't help but feel frightened.  
  
It took them half an hour to reach the castle. Each captain and their men took alternating positions around the shogun’s retinue, those in the front circled the castle to ensure no threat hid in the shadows. Kondou greeted the shogun, and his officials and followed them inside. Inoue, Nagakura and Itou joined him. Everyone else, who would take the next shift around the castle, was sent off to rest.  
  
Iba waited by the litter. He merely nodded a greeting at them, his usual joyful expression was replaced by a solemn, almost pained one. The door slid open and a thin hand reached out to take his.  
  
Chizuru slapped a hand over her mouth. The woman stepping out couldn't be Aimi. Her eyes lacked the spark of mischief, and her face was far thinner than Chizuru thought possible. Her clothes, while elegant and of the highest quality, only drew attention to the wraith inside.  
  
Aimi bowed slightly, holding tightly to Iba's hand for support.  
  
Saito was the first to step forward. He bowed low. "We are pleased to have you back. Your presence has been sorely missed."  
  
She gave him a weak smile. "I'm afraid I'm not fit for duty. Forgive me for..."  
  
"Now, none of that." Hijikata smiled at her. "Your post will keep until you are."  
  
Aimi regarded him coolly. She tilted her head. "Do you mock me, commander?"  
  
Hijikata winced at the hoarseness of her voice. "You know I don't joke about work."  
  
"I'm sorry to leave you so soon, Aimi. I have duties to attend to. Toshi will see you settled." Iba held her hand out to Hijikata, then turned and helped someone else from the litter. "This is Okita Kumeko, Mitsu-san's oldest daughter." He bowed to everyone and left in a hurry.  
  
"Kumeko-chan! My how you've grown!" Harada smiled warmly at her. "What a pleasant surprise to have you here."  
  
Kumeko smiled back at him. "Harada-san. I'm taking care of Aimi-san for mother. She can't travel until after the baby comes."  
  
"A big responsibility." Hijikata smirked at them. "Aimi tends to find trouble easily."  
  
Aimi's face lost its color.  
  
Kumeko stamped her foot. "That woman did this to her." Kumeko's eyes filled with tears and she clenched her fist.  
  
"Don't be angry with him, little one. He doesn't mean anything by it, he didn't know." Aimi stared at her feet.  
  
Hijikata touched Aimi's chin. "What woman?"  
  
"Her mother-in-law poisoned her. She's not getting better, she just gets thinner." Kumeko blurted out.  
  
Aimi let out a sigh. "I see you've been eavesdropping again. Careful, commander, she rivals Yamazaki on her ability to slip around unnoticed." Aimi ruffled her hair. "Mitsu's letter must have been delayed. I asked her to explain things before our arrival. It is...difficult for me to speak of. Mother Iba was certain I was possessed. She was determined to purge me of it, or kill me. We hope Dr. Matsumoto can help where others have failed."  
  
Chizuru slashed at the tears in her eyes. How could this have happened? Was there something she could do to help her?  
  
"That bitch!" Harada clenched his fist.  
  
"Normally, I would oppose killing a woman..." Saito clenched his jaw.

"You needn't say more." Hijikata held out his hand. "Can you walk the distance? Or shall I carry you?"  
  
Aimi lifted her chin defiantly. "I can make it. You needn't trouble yourself."  
  
"I doubt you weigh more than a feather, carrying you won't be any trouble at all."  
  
"Can we just go?" She turned on her toes but stumbled.  
  
Hijikata scooped her up and cradled her against his chest.  
  
"I'm sorry," Aimi whispered.  
  
"Shh, don't fret over this, you'll be better in no time." He closed his eyes and pressed his cheek to her temple. "Just...don't give up."  
  
Had she not stood beside them, Chizuru wouldn't have heard their exchange. Kumeko followed behind them while servants rushed from the castle to collect their trunks.  
  
"Could she still die?" Chizuru feared for her friend after Hijikata's plea.  
  
"She's pretty sick." Harada shook his head. "It won't be easy for her."  
  
"Indeed, it will take many months for her to recover. If it's not too late..." Saito added. "But if she's lost the will to live..."  
  
Chizuru held her breath. Saito had put her fear into words. The spark of life was missing from Aimi’s eyes. How many patients had just withered away, because they gave up, while her father fought in vain to help them?  
  
Harada patted her head. "She needs all of us to be strong for her, to remind her of who she is. Can you do that? You can't look at her like she lost. You can't let her see your tears."  
  
"I will try." Chizuru nodded.

* * *

  
Aimi curled against Hijikata's chest, soaking in the warmth his body offered. Hachiro hadn't held her since they left Edo. Oh, he was polite. Teeth aching polite. He never raised his voice to her. He also didn't discuss anything with her except the details of their travel plans. He avoided her whenever possible, content to let Kumeko tend her.  
  
Aimi could do nothing to ease his guilt. He couldn't stand to look at her. She overheard his argument with Mitsu about her return to Kyoto. He'd told Mitsu he couldn't care for Aimi, but he was taking her to someone who could. Mitsu argued she needed her husband's care, but he laughed bitterly. All he could do was hurt her. His family failed her, he failed her. Every time he looked at her he saw her death and it haunted him. Knowing how he felt stole what little hope she'd clung to that they would some day bridge the chasm between them.  
  
Hachiro hired an older woman to accompany them, but Aimi wasn't able to relax around her. So the woman was staying with Mitsu, and Kumeko came with Aimi. She met the girl's curious gaze over Hijikata's shoulder. Surely this must confuse one so young. Aimi didn't know how to explain it all to her.  
  
Hijikata stopped and opened a door. "Kumeko-chan, this room will serve as yours, we anticipated a servant would attend Aimi, but I think you will find it sufficient for your stay here."  
  
"I thought I would stay with Aunt Aimi, she doesn't sleep well." Kumeko looked up expectantly.  
  
Hijikata nodded and motioned to the door just across the hall to his left. "Her room is there. I'm sure if she needs you, you'll hear her. Is that okay with you?"  
  
Kumeko pursed her lips.

Hijikata smiled at her fondly. "I'm glad you take your job so seriously. Aimi is lucky to have such a friend."  
  
Kumeko blushed under his praise. Aimi hadn't missed the way she shyly looked at him while they spoke outside. He had the face of an angle. And the heart of a Demon. Aimi stifled a laugh.  
  
He raised a brow at her, his fingers curling gently under her knee. She shook her head. She'd never tell him her thoughts, or that poor Kumeko was star struck by him.  
  
"Why don't you go get some tea while I get her settled?"  
  
Kumeko gave him a curious look. Aimi held her smile. The child knew he was trying to get rid of her.  
  
"Tea sounds lovely, bring enough to have some with me, and maybe some rice balls if there are any?" Aimi asked.  
  
Kumeko bowed. "Of course, which way is the kitchen?"  
  
A servant stepped out of Aimi's room. He bowed before her. "This way, miss. I'm certain there is much better fair than rice balls to find there."  
  
Kumeko tossed a look over her shoulder as she followed the man down the hall.  
  
"She's a sharp one, isn't she? Reminds me of Mitsu." Hijikata grinned at the girl rounding the corner.  
  
"Yes, and far too mature for a girl her age. She doesn't miss a thing."  
  
"Souji was the same at that age. Still, I'm surprised Mitsu let her come."  
  
"It's my fault, I didn't trust anyone else." Aimi's voice cracked.  
  
"You're safe now."  
  
She brushed his bangs from his eyes. "Thank you."  
  
His heart beat wildly in his chest.  
  
Aimi motioned to her room. "You can put me down now."  
  
"Right." He stepped through her door and set her down, holding her close waiting for her legs to decide if they would hold her or not. "What's up with Hachiro? I've never seen him so cold."  
  
Aimi sighed and stepped away. "He feels responsible."  
  
Hijikata snorted. "He failed you, he should feel responsible. We all failed you. No one thought to check up on you after your wedding. But he should be grovelling at your feet, not handing you off to another man to care for."  
  
Aimi shrugged as she walked along the shelves, studying the vases and statuettes. "He thinks I can't trust him, but he knows I trust you. He said..." She caught his eyes in the mirror. "He said he was taking me somewhere safe. He was taking me to you."  
  
Hijikata moved to her and put his hands on her shoulders. "Tell me what happened?"  
  
Aimi let out a strangled laugh. "She told Hachiro I was a kitsune. The only way to protect Hachiro and the Iba house was to cleanse me."  
  
"What the hell did she do to you? Why didn't you leave?"  
  
Aimi stepped away, out of his reach. "You think I stayed and allowed this? I never dreamed she was so unstable." She shook her head. "I knew things were getting out of hand and sent a letter to Mitsu to contact Hachiro, but there was a delay in communications due to a threat against the shogun. I was about to leave anyway but grew ill."  
  
"Is that why you're so thin?" He clenched his fist.  
  
"Hachiro returned in March and found me unconscious. He took me to Mitsu's. It was a week before I woke. Hisa admitted to him she poisoned me, but refused to tell him what. We hoped with time I would recover." Aimi shrugged. "The doctors don't understand why I continue to lose weight. Nothing we've tried has helped much. The last said there was nothing else he could do for me. I'm dying." Tears blurred her eyes.  
  
Hijikata held her shoulders and pressed his cheek to her temple. "There has to be something. I won't accept that, and neither should you."  
  
She stared into his eyes and found a warmth there she'd not seen before. She touched his cheek and leaned up. Pressing her lips to his. His arms circled her, crushing her to him. His mouth desperate, and hungry against hers. The taste sweeter than she remembered. Her hand slipped under the edge of his kimono over his heart.  
  
His eyes snapped open and he held her away from him. "Stop. You're Hachiro's wife now."  
  
"He won't look at me, let alone touch me." She clung to his haori.  
  
"You've been ill. When you're well, he will come to you again."  
  
Aimi snorted. "He won't. He vowed to never touch me again after the first time. I'm his wife in name only."  
  
"And off limits to me now. Don't tempt me, I'm not sure I have the will to resist you."  
  
She ran her fingers over the back of his neck and he trembled beneath them. "Then don't. He knows how I feel about you. He brought me to you because he knew it's what I want."  
  
Hijikata pulled her hands from him and stalked to the other side of the room. "This is bullshit. You guys will get through this. He's a good man. This thing has you both fucked up. You're not thinking straight." He blew out a breath. "Hell, I can't believe I'm saying this. Don't give up on him, he cares about you."  
  
She shook her head. "No, he married me to protect me from Takeda. That's it. He's offered me a divorce for failing to keep his promise."  
  
"What? He's an idiot. He's done it out of guilt." Hijikata slashed a hand through the air. "You can't...Don't make any rash decisions."  
  
Aimi shook her head. "He'd be better off without me, but no. Mitsu and Rintaro would be shamed by it. I won't put the family through the dishonor of a divorce." Aimi turned her back to him. "I'm sorry to burden you with all this. It won't happen again." He reached for her, but she dodged out of his grasp. "You have a castle to guard, commander. You've never shirked your duty for me before, don't shame me by doing so now."  
  
"I've brought tea." Kumeko called from the door.

“Come in,” Aimi answered.  
  
Hijikata bowed and left the room.  
  
Aimi sunk to the floor.  
  
"Are you all right?" Kumeko rushed in.  
  
"Just tired." She smiled at her. "Tea will help, thank you for taking care of me."  
  
Kumeko nodded and bit her lip. She glanced at the door. "Why did Iba-san have him help you?"  
  
"Hijikata-san is a very good friend of his. He knew he'd see to us while he attends the shogun."  
  
"But you don't like him?"  
  
Aimi choked out a laugh. "I do like him, perhaps too much. You'll understand when your older."  
  
Kumeko snorted and looked up from pouring tea.  
  
"Sorry, little one. I know how I hated it when anyone told me that at your age. But in this case, it's best not to worry about it." Aimi blew the steam from her cup.  
  
"Did you want to marry him instead of Iba-san?"  
  
Aimi choked on her tea. Kumeko rushed to her side and patted her on the back until she stopped coughing.  
  
"And just where did you hear that?"  
  
Kumeko's cheeks darkened and she stared at her hands. "Mother and Iba-san were arguing. He said you should have stayed in Kyoto. That Toshi should have married you."  
  
"Then I guess you do understand." Aimi ruffled her hair. "Just promise me you won't be in a hurry to grow up. Trust me, being a kid is better than being an adult."  
  
Kumeko hugged her and kissed her cheek. "I'm sorry she was so cruel to you. She just didn't know you like we do. You're so good and kind I don't know why anyone couldn't love you."  
  
Aimi brushed the tears from Kumeko's cheeks. "I love you too, little one. It's been a long journey. You should go to bed. I'm going to read for a bit, then sleep."  
  
Kumeko gathered the tea. She bowed. "Good night, Aunt."  
  
"Good night, little one."  
  
Aimi let out a breath when the door slid closed. Since leaving Edo, Kumeko was always at her side. Aimi didn't have the heart to send the child to her own room. Not when she fretted constantly that Aimi could die. Aimi lied each day and told her she felt better, but her will to fight slipped away more each day Hachiro pushed her away. She'd held onto the hope that he cared for her, but his cool dismissal told otherwise. Hijikata didn't want her either. Reality reminded her that it was pointless to hope.  
  
"Aimi, it's Kondou-san. May I come in?"  
  
"Yes, please do." Aimi stood when the door opened and bowed.  
  
"Please, sit, you should be resting." He gave her a tender smile but didn't seem shocked by her appearance. Hijikata or one of the others must have told him.  
  
"If all I do is rest, I'll never get stronger."  
  
Kondou took her hands. "Give yourself time to gain strength. A warrior knows when to rest, and when to push themselves. Even the strongest of us need to rest after an injury."  
  
She looked at the floor. "I'm not a warrior. No warrior would allow this to happen to them."  
  
Kondou lifted her chin. "Don't hide your face from me. A samurai doesn't hide their face. You are a samurai, you've only forgotten." He reached under his coat and pulled two linen wrapped packages. "These should help remind you."  
  
"What are these?"  
  
"Open them!" His excitement lifted her spirits. Kondou had that effect on everyone. He seemed to always know what to say.  
  
She took the longest package first. Her heart beat sped when she realized what she held. She pulled back the fabric and found her katana. Tears splashed her cheeks.  
  
"You kept it?"  
  
"Didn't I say I would? I promised to return it to you."  
  
She never thought she would see it again. She'd not touched a sword since she left Kyoto. The sight of it was familiar, but the weight of it was heavy in her hand. Would she ever be able to wield it again? "Thank you." She bowed and brushed the tears from her cheeks.  
  
"Now the other one." He held it out for her.  
  
She took it and knelt, placing it in her lap. She knew what it held. With trembling fingers she untied the string and pulled away the linen. Folded neatly was her old uniform. The ache of the last eight months stole her breath. If not for this, would her life have been different? She'd nearly escaped the Shinsengumi, only to be lured back in by a dream. The nightmare of it all was far harsher than anyone anticipated.  
  
"I don't know what to say?"  
  
"You speechless? I never thought I'd live to see that." Hijikata stood in the doorway a warm smile on his face.  
  
"Ah, Toshi, I think you were right, she needed to have these tonight." Kondou smiled at her nodding.  
  
"This was your idea?" Aimi's voice was hard as steel as she rose to her feet. She didn't raise her voice, but Hijikata winced all the same. "To remind me of what was lost? Did you think I'd forgotten? That I didn't know what I sacrificed? That I wasn't given a choice?"  
  
Koundou stood open mouthed. "Aimi, that's not..."  
  
She shoved the uniform at Hijikata when he drew close. "How dare you remind me that this is all your fault! Get out, both of you."  
  
"Aimi..." Hijikata started to speak.  
  
"Go away, please."  
  
Kondou patted her shoulder. "Forgive me. The last thing I wished to do was cause you more pain."  
  
She nodded at him and crossed the room to the window. When the door slid shut she collapsed to the sill a sob caught in her throat.  
  
Strong arms circled her. She tried to shrug them off, but didn't have the strength.  
  
"Forgive me. I didn't think they would upset you. I thought you were happy with us?" Hijikata held her close.  
  
"Us? When was there ever an us? That uniform is only a painful reminder that you didn't want me then, and you don't want me now."  
  
"Not want you? Damn it, you've no idea how much I want you. But you belong to Hachiro." He held her at arms length and glared down at her.  
  
"Belong?" She screamed at him. "As if I were a sword, or a vase? Just a pretty doll for him to keep on a shelf? Is that it? Damn you and your honor. Just go!" She pulled her arm free and slapped him. She may as well have struck him with a feather for all the strength she had. He grabbed her wrist and pinned her arms behind her back. She slumped in defeat, her forehead rested on his shoulder as she cried.  
  
"I'm sorry. Hachiro never would have left you there had he known what would happen. You can't give up on him. He loves you."  
  
Aimi scoffed. "What do you know of love? You aren't capable of love. If life has taught me anything it's that love is just a pretty word. A lie that the pain of life is worth it. Just go, commander. Please, this is all very draining."  
  
He released her and stood. "If I see Hachiro again, I'll send him to you."  
  
"Don't waste your breath. He'll only send an excuse, as he always does."  
  
"I apologize for all the pain I've caused you. Someday, I hope you can forgive me." He bowed and turned to the door.  
  
She watched as he left this time and waited for his footsteps to retreat down the hall. The familiar sound of softer steps drew closer, and stopped outside. Kumeko opened the door to her own room and Aimi held her breath until the door slid shut again.  
  
She pulled her katana from its sheath and ran her finger along the blade. The sharp edge cut through her skin without resistance. Blood pooled at the surface along with the sting of pain. Aimi stared at the cut. Even now the skin slowly re-knit itself, though at a far slower pace than before. Was the poison to blame for her slower healing and illness, or was her ability to heal stopping altogether for a different reason? Would she ever have answers?


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hachiro and Chizuru face unwanted visitors of Nijo Castle. They all learn a shocking secret about Aimi and her real connection to Shiranui Kyo.

Aimi pushed to her feet and held her katana. The feel of the hilt in her hand was familiar. It should be, she held it nearly everyday for three years. Her fingers curled around the hilt and she turned her wrist, watching the metal of it flash through the air with a satisfied swoosh. She stepped into her fighting stance, and slowly performed each motion drilled into her. After only a few moves, sweat beaded on her brow and ran between her shoulders. Her body ached from the workout, and her breath came in short puffs. She had to stop many times to catch her breath, but she felt more alive than she had in months.  
  
A shadow moved across her window. Dread hung in the air and the fine hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. There was an intruder in the castle. She took a deep breath and let her mind stretch out. She sensed the presence of three...auras...There was something different about them. She tied her katana to her obi and gathered the bottom of her kimono. She sat on the sill and swung her legs out the window that opened into an inner courtyard. She cursed her weak legs, forcing them out the window. She dropped to the ground but failed to cushion her fall, and grunted at the impact. She stood and brushed the dirt from her palms and slipped into the shadows. She used the wall for support as she willed her body forward. She rounded the corner and sucked in a breath.  
  
Hachiro stood, sword drawn, facing a giant of a man. Chizuru stood behind him, her eyes wide as saucers.  
  
"Iba," Chizuru yelled.  
  
"Chizuru, stay back, you might get hurt."  
  
"But..."  
  
"I said, stay back."  
  
Hachiro squared off against the tallest man. In a flash of silver, he swung, but the man dodged out of the way with ease. Hachiro's eyes widened, but he didn't hesitate, and continued his attack.  
  
Aimi recalled the name of a tall man Saito met at Hamaguri Gate who fought only with his hands. His name was Amagiri Kyuju.  
  
Hachiro's masterful swordsmanship cornered Amagiri. Hachiro moved with superhuman speed, his movements graceful and controlled like a flowing river. Her breath caught in her throat at the beauty of the man she married. She'd never seen him draw his sword, and had no idea of the skill he possessed.  
  
"I see... Guess you didn't get the title of Okuzume for no reason." Amagiri smiled. "I think there's only a few Demons who could keep up with your skill. I commend you for your strength."  
  
Aimi gaped at Amagiri. Had he said Demons? There was no such thing as Demons.    
  
"You're talking too much Amagiri." The man named Kazama Chikage furrowed his brows. He defeated Souji at Ikeda, and crossed swords with Hijikata during the Hamaguri Rebellion.  
  
But why were they here?  
  
The battle between Hachiro and Amagiri continued. Hachiro skillfully held the offense. Aimi saw his opening at the same time he did. She knew his next blow would end it.  
  
"You're mine." Hachiro exclaimed and swung his sword at Amagiri's left arm with an extreme amount of force.  
  
Amagiri caught Hachiro's sword in his hand. Hachiro grit his teeth trying to free his katana. She couldn't believe her eyes.  
  
"You only aim for my arms and feet. Are you incapable of defeating someone who only fights with their body? I take it you've never taken a life before."  
  
Hachiro stayed silent. His pinched brows suggested Amagiri hit on the truth. Amagiri shook his head and stepped back, ending the fight. Aimi watched Hachiro. Her breath caught in her throat. His skill surpassed many in the Shinsengumi, how had he never taken a life before?  
  
Kazama scoffed. "This is a trick learned to kiss the shogun's ass. What good is a sword if it can't kill?"  
  
"What the hell are you playing around for?" Aimi hadn't noticed Shiranui until he spoke.  
  
Her heart slammed into her chest as he leveled his gun at Hachiro. Chizuru jumped to her feet and rushed Shiranui.  
  
"No!" Aimi kicked at the ground and moved with a speed and strength she didn't know she possessed. She pushed Chizuru out of the way. The crack of thunder sounded in her ears and she was thrown back.  
  
"Aimi!" Hachiro yelled.  
  
After his scream died down the night grew silent. Aimi struggled to open her eyes. Lancing pain burned through her right shoulder.  
  
"What the hell did you do that for?" Shiranui's voice was pained and angry.  
  
Aimi gasped and tried to sit up. Chizuru knelt beside her. Aimi covered her shoulder with her hand. Shielding her injury from Chizuru.  
  
"Aimi are you all right?" Hachiro called to her. He didn't take his eyes from the three men he faced.  
  
"Yes...I'll be all right."  
  
"Please, let me tend to you." Chizuru tried to look at her wound.  
  
Aimi bit the inside of her cheek. She grit her teeth at the pain of it. She'd never had this bad of an injury before.    
  
"It's not serious, is Hachiro injured? Are you?"  
  
Chizuru shook her head. "I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. Thank you for saving me."  
  
"Damn it, Shiranui. What the hell were you thinking? Why would you injure the very reason we are here?" Kazama stepped forward. His glare made Hachiro step aside. "What the hell happened to you? Who poisoned you?" He grabbed her left shoulder and pulled her toward him. “Forgive me, there isn’t time to waste, it may already be too late.” Aimi's eyes snapped open when his mouth covered hers. She pushed in vain against him. A warmth flooded into her mouth and she nearly gagged at the copper metallic taste on her tongue.  
  
"Release her!" Hachiro's voice cut through the silence.  
  
"Hold on pretty boy," Shiranui said. "Kazama, is this really necessary?"  
  
Kazama didn't release her until she swallowed the blood in her mouth.  
  
Aimi wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. She stared at the red smear on her wrist. "What the hell was that for?"  
  
"How long has the poison been in your system? If not reversed in time it is fatal. Another month at the most and you'll be dead." Kazama glared at Hachiro. "Only Demons can take care of Demons." Power rolled off him and swirled around Aimi. She closed her eyes to it and held her breath. She grit her teeth against the strange feeling in her shoulder as the shattered bones began to knit together. Deep within an energy built until a warmth spread through her veins.  
  
A flash of metal cut through the air, and Kazama dodged away, the power receded as quickly as he called it. Sano and Hijikata stared at Aimi.  
  
"Aimi. You're bleeding. Did these weak shits do this to you?" Sano asked.  
  
"Hachiro, get Aimi out of here, see to her shoulder," Hijikata commanded. "These assholes need a lesson in how to treat a woman."  
  
Aimi shied away from Hachiro. "I'm fine, you don't need to worry."  
  
"Aimi, I know your not." Hachiro's eyes clouded with worry. His fingers caressed her cheek. "Please, let me see it. Don't listen to them. You're a normal girl, just like Chizuru. You don't need to hide from me."  
  
"Is this why she hurt you?" Chizuru asked.  
  
"She called me a monster." Aimi flinched as Hachiro pulled her kimono loose to expose her shoulder.

The two stared silently as the would healed slowly before their eyes.  
  
"You're not a monster, she is." Chizuru clenched her fist. "And you're just like..." She looked at Hachiro.  
  
He nodded at her. "It's all right. I know you've kept it secret all these years. You can show her."  
  
"What secret?"  
  
Chizuru took her kodachi and cut the end of her finger. Aimi watched in fascination as it healed before her eyes.  
  
"Chizuru is right. A monster doesn't sacrifice themselves to save another. You are kind and giving, and far too honorable to be a monster."  
  
"Why are they here? What do they want?"  
  
"Kazama-san said I was like them, that I'm a Demon. If you're Shiranui-san's sister then, that means..." Tears pooled in Chizuru’s wide eyes.  
  
"It means nothing. You're both just innocent girls." Hachiro gave them both a reassuring smile.  
  
Aimi watched the stand off between Hijikata and Kazama over Hachiro's shoulder. Each stood with their swords ready. The smile on Kazama's face made her blood run cold. He wouldn't hesitate to kill Hijikata when the chance presented itself. Aimi believed he'd enjoy it. Hijikata swung first. Kazama brought his sword up and held his ground despite the power behind Hijikata's blow.  
  
"You're not human are you? Just what the hell are you? What do you want with them?"  
  
"Haven't I made myself clear. I am of a Demon clan. Not only I but so are they. Both of them are rare female Demons. These girls are too much for you." Kazama glared at Hachiro's back. "That one has barely kept Aimi alive."  
  
"Why do you want them both? Isn't one girl enough for a guy?"  
  
"Aimi is Shiranui's sister. It was kind of you to arrange this family reunion. Come with us Aimi, you need never fear humans again."  
  
"What makes you think I trust you?" Aimi glared at Kazama. "What kind of asshole takes a woman against her will?"  
  
Kazama smiled at her, but his crimson eyes cut into hers. "Oh, you are Shiranui's sister, there's no doubt. A rare female Demon with steel beneath that pretty face. If you come with me, I will leave Chizuru alone. What do you say? Will you take her place as my wife?"  
  
"The hell you say?" Hijikata  
  
Aimi gripped Hachiro's arm, but couldn't look him in the eyes. It was one thing to heal quickly, it was another altogether to be called a Demon.  
  
"Stop it!" Chizuru stood between Aimi and Kazama temporarily blocking her view of him. "Leave her alone." She thrust her chin defiantly.  
  
Hijikata took that moment to strike. Their blows rang out and Aimi wondered their swords didn't break from the strength behind them. Each man moved with superhuman speed. Sparks few as their swords collided. Aimi found it difficult to follow the battle, each man moved too fast.  
  
Kazama smiled at the clipped strands of his hair floating on the breeze. "I see." A flicker of something Aimi swore a spark of respect danced in his crimson eyes. He lowered his sword and stepped back.  
  
"What the hell is this?" Hijikata held his sword ready.  
  
"Further fighting serves no purpose. We don't wish to draw more attention," Amagiri said.  
  
Kyo stepped toward Aimi. Sano lifted his spear.  
  
"Hell, princess. This isn't the reunion I wanted. I figured you'd want to dump these guys. You're safer coming with us."  
  
"Right now I trust them more than I trust you."  
  
"You sure about that, princess? You look like shit. I don't know what's happened since we last met, but it doesn't look like staying with them is good for you."  
  
"As opposed to a brother with an itchy trigger finger? No thanks, I've had enough of 'family' trying to kill me."  
  
"This belongs to you. When you're ready to hear it, I'll tell you what I know." Shiranui held out her wakizashi, Aimi glared at him. Chizuru took it for her. He let out a breath. "Ok, I get it, I screwed up. I'm sorry, really." He leveled a glare at Hijikata and at Hachiro. "Take care of my sister for me."  
  
Hijikata lowered his sword and darted a look between them. "What?"  
  
"Shiranui, are you really going to leave your sister here with these dogs? You allow her to taint herself with this filth?" Kazama sneered at Hijikata.  
  
"Hey, watch it. She's a big girl and can make up her own mind," Shiranui said.  
  
Hijikata put himself between Shiranui and Aimi.  
  
"So which one of you is gonna watch over her?" Shiranui pointed at Aimi.  
  
"I am." Hijikata and Hachiro spoke at the same time. They looked at each other, jaws clenched, but said no more.  
  
"Oh really? Is this true, princess?" He smirked at her. "You took a bullet for that one, but what about this guy? If he's just in the way I'll kill him for you." Shiranui leveled his pistol at Hijikata's chest.  
  
Hijikata bared his teeth at him, his sword ready.  
  
Aimi clenched her jaw, her eyes flicked to Hijikata. "He'd just come back from the dead and kill you."  
  
Shiranui laughed. "Is that so? You think he's all that?"  
  
"She has your mouth, how quaint." Kazama shook his head, a small smile on his face.  
  
"I expect her to look healthy the next time I see her, or I'm gonna kill both of you." The shadows wavered around Kyo and he disappeared.  
  
"We will return for you both soon." Kazama smirked at her and slipped into the shadows.  
  
Hijikata ordered Saito to make sure they left the castle but not to engage them further without cause.  
  
Chizuru collapsed with a sob.  
  
"Chizuru, you okay? You look really pale," Sano asked.  
  
"I'm fine..."  
  
Sano knelt in front of her. "You're a terrible liar, you know that?" He smiled warmly and patted her head. "If you can't walk I'll carry you."  
  
"What the hell were you thinking? You barely had the strength to leave your room." Hijikata squatted beside Aimi and looked at her bloodied shoulder. "What the hell was that all about?"  
  
"Couldn't you tell? It was a family reunion." Aimi let out a half mad cackle. "I guess I've got to get used to family trying to kill me."  
  
"Here, let me carry you." Hachiro reached for her  
  
"No, I can walk on my own..." Aimi gripped his arm as he helped her to her feet. The loss of blood cause her head to swim. She swayed on her feet.  
  
Hijikata scooped her up. "Damn, you're stubborn."  
  
"You've no idea," Hachiro mumbled.  
  
"Don't think I'm letting you off the hook. Her getting shot is on you." He glared at Hachiro. "Is this your idea of taking care of your wife?"  
  
"But.." Chizuru stood beside Hachiro. "It was my fault Hijikata-san. Aimi-san was hurt to save me."  
  
"And it was his job to protect you both. A samurai doesn't let a gal get hurt on his watch."  
  
Hachiro shook his head. "Toshi is right, this is my fault, Chizuru. I am responsible for Aimi."  
  
Hijikata clenched his jaw. He only nodded and carried Aimi to the castle.

* * *

  
Aimi woke to find Hijikata sitting beside her futon. His arm rested on a bent knee. His expression drawn and tired.  
  
"Care to explain?"  
  
"Explain what?"  
  
"Your shoulder is half healed over a period of hours rather than weeks. The bullet went clear through, shattering bone and who knows what else. Should take months to heal something that bad, and even then you'd lose the use of it. From the looks of it, by this time tomorrow it will be little more than a scar. As if it never happened." He shook his head and sighed. "So this is why they were here. You're really that shit's sister?"  
  
"Well, all that was news to me. I never understood why I healed so fast. I only knew I wasn't supposed to let anyone know. I didn't know the reason why until tonight." Tears stung her eyes. She was a Demon. She couldn't bring herself to say it out loud. Her Catholic upbringing condemned her as a creature of evil. Were there any prayers for her soul?  
  
"Is this why Hisa-san tried to kill you?"  
  
Aim let out the breath she held. "I saved a child from a burning brazier, and my hand was badly burned. I was fine in a matter of hours. I wasn't very good at hiding it from her. Still, if I could go back and do it again, I would save the child. I might shove Hisa-san into the fire instead."  
  
Hijikata smiled. "I worried I wouldn't see that look in your eyes again."  
  
"What time is it?"  
  
"Nearly dawn. I figured you'd sleep longer."  
  
"How is Hachiro? Did you two argue again?"  
  
Hijikata shook his head and pointed to the corner. Hachiro slept, his head resting against the wall. "He dealt with the shogun, got us out of hot water. He tried to stay awake, but he's beat. I don't think he's slept much since he left Edo."  
  
"And have you rested, commander?"  
  
"Eh? I'll sleep when this is over. You being ill is a blessing in disguise. The shogun was content to let you rest rather than ask you to explain the situation."  
  
"I'm sorry for the burden I've placed on you. You don't need to stay. I'm fine now."  
  
"You're still paler than your sheets. You'll stay in bed until I give you permission to get up."  
  
"I'm not one of your men to order around anymore, Commander."  
  
"Yeah? Then stop calling me Commander." He smirked at her.  
  
"No, it's best I call you Commander." Aimi turned away from him. She rolled to her left side and closed her eyes. Why did he insist on staying?

She watched Hachiro sleep. The worry that creased his brow the last few months was gone. She blinked back the tears at how gallant he was tonight. He'd come to Chizuru's rescue, and hers. He stood his ground against impossible odds to protect them. She caught a glimpse of the man she cared for when he reassured them both with his words. Had circumstances been different between them they might have had a chance. It was her stubborn pride that ruined the beginning of their relationship. Now it was his. Would they ever reconcile? Did she want to? Hijikata's kiss still lingered on her lips. A tear rolled down her nose.    
  
"This is a hell of a mess. Not exactly how I expected this day to go," Hijikata spoke softly.  
  
Aimi snorted. "Tell me about it. At least your family isn't trying to kill you."  
  
"No, it's your family trying to kill me now." He chuckled at his own cleverness.  
  
She joined his laughter. "Stop, it hurts to laugh."  
  
"A damn shame, it's good to hear you laugh."  
  
Silence stretched out between them until Aimi spoke softly. "Hijikata?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"What now?"  
  
He let out a breath. "For now you worry about getting better. Then you worry about the rest. When you're stronger you can fight for what you want."  
  
She held her breath. What did she want? She chewed her bottom lip and sat up. Both men held a piece of her heart. How could she choose between them?  
  
Hachiro stretched and rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "You're awake!" He moved beside her futon and took her hand. "How are you feeling?"  
  
"Sore and weak. I'm sorry to worry you."  
  
He brushed the hair from her face and caressed her cheek. "I'm growing accustomed to it. Toshi tried to warn me you had a knack for it."  
  
"A knack? Hell, she draws trouble like honey draws flies." Hijikata chuckled. "Still, things were too dull without you around."  
  
"I wish I could promise not to cause more trouble but..."  
  
"You wouldn't be you if you weren't grinding my goddam gears."  
  
Hachiro chuckled. "Don't be so hard on her, Toshi."  
  
"You're too soft. You can't coddle her. She's a fighter, not some simpering child."  
  
Aimi hid her smile as they argued back and forth over which of them knew what was best for her. She flinched when she moved her right arm to take Hijikata's hand. He hesitated before curling his fingers around hers. She smiled at them both. She held each hand tightly, she knew what she would fight for. She didn't know where to start, or if she even had a shot, but she knew what she wanted.  
  
Hijikata frowned at her. "Every time you get that look in your eyes it means trouble for me. I'm telling you right now, you better follow orders and get better before you go starting shit."  
  
"Me? Start shit? I'm sure you're mistaken. I've never started anything of the sort." Aimi blinked innocently at him.  
  
Hachiro chuckled. "You might as well give up, Toshi. Once she's got her mind set, there's no changing it." Aimi released his hand and cupped his cheek. He leaned close and pressed his forehead to hers. "Forgive me."  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Well, I think that means it's time for me to leave." Hijikata moved for the door. "But you better not tire her out, she needs rest."  
  
Hachiro's cheeks darkened. "I wasn't, that's not..."  
  
"Maybe _you_ weren't..." Hijikata shook his head. "Never mind. You'll figure it out, eventually."  
  
"Hijikata?" Aimi asked  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Is there a place for me with the Shinsengumi, still?"  
  
Hachiro let out a breath. She gave him a pleading look. His lips thinned. "I'd like to say no, but if it's what you want I won't oppose it."  
  
"You get better first, then we'll discuss it." Hijikata closed the door behind him.  
  
Aimi leaned against Hachiro.  
  
He kissed her cheek and gently coaxed her to lie down. "You should rest, you need to save your strength."  
  
"I'm not tired." Her fingers teased the exposed flesh of his chest.  
  
He took her hand and pressed it to his lips. "Allow yourself to heal, please. I couldn't bare to hurt you again."  
  
She sighed and tucked herself into the crook of his neck. He kissed the top of her head. His heartbeat under her palm soothed her, lulling her to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know when the next update will be. I don't have any completed chapters left right now, just a bunch of scattered scenes and summaries. Between my new job and the kids' sports I haven't had enough free time to write the last two months. I'm getting some stuff written, but not making significant progress. I will update as soon as I am able, but it might be a week or two (or more) late. I'm also moving in early Nov. Which is a good thing, as all our sports activities slow down until after the new year. It will be nice to have my writing space set up once more!


End file.
